~Reach~ [on going]

Reach

by Lei

Have you ever felt the feeling of being unwanted by the people that you thought would care the most for you? Have yo ever felt the feeling of not being in the proper place of life, and you need the find where you truly belong? But despite of all these thnings that you are looking for, have you asked yourself if you're ready to face what's waiting for you?

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January 1, 2010

My God! You wouldn't know how happy I am today. No, it's not what it looks like. I'm still alone here in my apartment and my friends are still in their parent's house. I found this shop in Jordan St. It's a bookshop actually, that sells almost all of the books that I want. They have a compelete shelves. And I found my area of interest there, the Occult and Unknown histories section. My god, they even have rare books with pages that are already sensitive. They also have some of these banned books. How did they even find them? I doubt if this store is legal huh?

So you know how much I fancy them, so luckily, haven't bought a new guiatr from the money that I had last Christmas. I actually bought this books, entitled, The Secret of Eternity. I can't find the name of the author because it was so old. Imagine a book, a vintage book. Well, it's more than that. I also doubt if the pages are still complete, yet, it was written in an Old english grammar. Geez, good luck to me when I start reading reading this.

So I was on my way home with this book on my hand. I was at the gate of my apartment, searching for my keys in my pocket when an old lady came near me and gaze into my face. I realized, she was also touching the book, like feeling it while reading something in me. Would it be possible that while she had her hands on the paperback, she can find the words into my eyes? Naah, filthy imagination of mine. So I only look back at her, god she was so old. If I had enough money that time, I would give her some, because she's so thin. And homeless.

A few moments later, she blinked. Once. Twice. Like she had been sleeping and finally had awaken. "Be careful, Dear. Be ready," she said then turn her back. Then a huge bird flew in front of my face. I've been blind for several seconds, damn the birdie, it hurts my eyes.

When everything became visible again, I looked around. Damn, that grandma was a Ninja! She was already gone! I even thought that the folded paper on the ground was hers. But when I used my sense of smell -uhuh, sherlock - it smells like my(it's already mine :P) book.

I read what's in the paper when I am done cleaning myself. It was already 9pm. And this is another reason why I feel happy. The paper was actually a letter. An interesting letter hidden within the book. I will surely paste it here. This is it:

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14th of November - 10pm

L,

The first time I saw you, I never thought that there was something more astonishing than the meteor shower – as what they call it- in night sky. Never have I felt those butterflies, millions of butterflies rest in my stomach again since the day you looked at me. When you're eyes met mine, I thought the whole world had stopped spinning, and my heartbeat would never impede. I’ve never felt that way before, that feeling that even thousands of words can not be enough to describe it. You made me feel that way. This would never go away. I hope that you would also feel the same. To have someone like you will always be better than winning in every battle of the world.

Unluckily, I am like a human personification of Atlas. I may not have the world on my shoulder, but it feels that way. My family needs me; my country relies on my strength and finds their survival in my hands. This is equivalent for making them suffer. They are always worried, and bothered.

This is the first time that I felt fear in my mind, body, and emotion. I hope you will forgive me, someday, for not bringing everything up to you these things for I am scared of you having worries. I don’t want you to bear nightmares of me, for my love, that will be the great terror for me. To see you cry, shaking to death, would turn pale like you are about faint.

Please forgive me.

I will vow to every god that I know, and every deist that you worship, you will be the first and last woman that would make me feel that way. I swear that when not good situation ends, please, do not be afraid, you’re the first person I’ll be looking for.

I don’t care how long. Waiting is not a problem because an eternity is what ahead of us.

I am glad that I can finally say these words now: I love you.

P. S I only wrote you’re initial. It’s for you’re privacy. Once again, forgive me for this mysterious ways, but you will feel that it’s You. This letter is for you, because you’re heart will say it. Forgive me for doing such things.

Love,

D.

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