Prologue

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Two years ago

I looked around at the people standing around the hallway. I could feel the way they are all staring at me, judging me. I can't help but think that they know my secret, I mean, I barely even accept it as it is, how am I supposed to explain it to other people, make them accept it too. 

I smile as I see Kevin heading my way, but when I saw the disgust on his face, it was changed into a look of confusion. He couldn't know? Could he?

"Hey, Chandler. I need to talk to you about something." He whispered as he stood in front of me. I looked around and sighed in relief as I noticed no one was looking at us. (Even though it felt only seconds ago that the whole room was staring me down and exposing my deepest and darkest secret)

"Yeah, of course. What's wrong man?" I asked him. Whenever I am around my friends I feel safe, but the look he is giving me now makes me want to cringe and find a nice dark corner to hide in while I wait for whatever this is to calm down.

"Well, it's just that....people are saying....." His voice cut out as he looked behind him before turning back around and pursing his lips at me. I could see the annoyance on his face and the disgust still there, mixing into a hideous twist between the two.

"People are saying you're gay." He blurted out as he looked at me with wide eyes. My expression looked much like his, but instead of disgust, mine were filled with shock, and fear.

"What?" I breathed out. I was ready to deny it, but he didn't give me the chance before he started talking.

"I know, it's just that the guys are saying that you look at them when they are changing, which I think is a load of crap, but they wanted me to ask you about it, because you know.....we can't have any fags on the football and baseball teams, that's just wrong." He exclaimed as he looked around the hallway to make sure no one could hear us. I looked too because I don't want anyone to know, it's bad enough that I already know myself.

"No man, no way. There is no way I am a fag." I tell him spitting out the word. He smirks as he looks at me. He pats me on the shoulder before starting to walk back down the hallway to where the rest of the team was standing, only turning around to say,

"Good, we don't need another Cody incident. I've had enough of this fags trying to take our rightful places." He smirked a final time before bounding down the hallway after some of his homophobic friends.

Cody was a senior last year, three sport athlete, football, baseball, and track. He was the school golden boy, until he came out as gay and started dating the schools nerd, who was honestly kinda cute in a nerdy way.

His life was ruined. The schools golden boy went from number one, to dead last. He and his boyfriend had to move halfway through the year from the amount of bullying they had to endure. They moved to another state and have gotten married. I still keep in touch with them secretly, and I think they know that I am having mixed emotions about who I like, as in gender wise. They tried to talk to me about it, but I wouldn't listen and left as soon as I could.

I hear the bell ring that indicated the end of the school day. My gaze hardens as I looked at Shelly, the head cheerleader. For the past week she had been implying that she wanted to have me, and not in a relationship way, the friends with benefits way.

I marched over to her and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"You want to get out of here. We could be doing something a lot more productive, in my bed." My tone was husky as I whispered in her ear and I smirked coldly as I saw her shiver in pleasure. The girl smiled slyly at me and grabbed my hand and began dragging me out of the school as the guys behind me began hooting and hollering. 

Although she wasn't who I imagined to lose my virginity too, I knew I had to prove myself to my friends, prove that I wasn't a fag.

And prove myself I did.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 16, 2020 ⏰

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