The Muffin Fic (PHAN)

The muffin fic

Dan's pistachio muffin's POV.

He looks gorgeous. Every time our gazes meet, I feel butterflies flying in my stomach. His red pot is one of my favourite things about him. A shade of red like I had never seen before - as deep as sweet. Then his voice, Jesus Christ, his voice. It's lovely and low. I wish I could hear it all day and night. In the morning as we watch animes with our Masters Dan and Phil, in the afternoon as we shyly address shy smiles to each other, and in my dreams where he always is.

I fell in love with every detail about him. From his green eyes to his name. Winston.

It sounds like poetry to me. I want to feel the taste of his name on my lips. I want to feel the taste of each word of his on my lips. I want to feel his lips on mine.

Though I haven't come out to our Masters yet - neither has he. I don't know how people would react. They expect us to be attracted to each other but we never had the confidence to really tell ourselves. What if they don't accept who I am ? What if they're muffplantophobic ? Even though everyone suspects us not to be straight, Dan and Phil are still persuaded we're only friends.

But how can you only be friend with someone that beautiful ?

Winston shares my feelings, we're even in a secret but passionate relationship. Today will be our first official date since our Masters are leaving the house to go to Australia. They've been so busy these days, they haven't even seen how close my lovely plant and I got. They're supposed to go to Tesco in a few minutes. That when we start...

I'm really nervous. I planned everything because I want everything to be perfect. We'll start watching Winnie the Pooh - my favourite show - on Netflix. And it will be the time for some Netflix and Sylvester, if you know what I mean.

"Phil ! Close the goddamn door !" I can hear Dan saying as they both walk out of the apartment. It's time. I'm so nervous, what if he rejects me ? No, he won't, he loves me - so do I.

I wait a few minutes to be sure our Masters aren't coming back and I slowly jump from the kitchen to the living room where I find my lover. Lord, he is gorgeous. When I arrive at his pot, I look up at him and he looks down at me. We smile at each other and I can see his pot getting redder. I'm kinda of proud of how I make him feel. However, my pistachios get greener as well.

"Do... Do you want to start ?" He smiles at me. I slowly nod, impressed by his pure beauty. He takes me between his leafs and carry me to the couch where we sit. I take his leaf into my pistachio and we cuddle. As the show starts, I can't keep my mind on what's happening. My eyes meet his and he squeezes one of my pistachio. I think the time has come. I deeply breathe and got him closer.

I kiss his pot that got suddenly as red as a tomato. I smirk and realise that I maybe top in this relationship. Though I suddenly remember that my proprietor is Dan Howell which means I'm the bottom. Winston reminds me of that fact by eating one of my pistachio cheap. I gasp and turn green. His act leaves a hickey on my left side, making me groan in pleasure.

"Your pistachios taste good, they're so big," he mumbles.

His voice sounds as sensual as a tree looks sexy - which means a lot since my celebrity crush is Timmy the apple tree. If I knew him, I'd ask Winston to form a treesome.

Then, as we're about to skip all the bases, I hear the door. No, how can they be back yet ?

"Phil ! You told me you hadn't lighted on any candle," Dan screams, his tone looking amused. I was not amused. You don't interrupt a making out session between a pistachio muffin and a houseplant. That's considered rude by society.

"Sorry, Dan," Phil laughs in response. "When we are back to London after the tour, our house will be the amazing flat is on fire," Dan adds.

That's when they walk into the room and they see us. Me, green as fuck - I wish it was literally as fuck but no we had been interrupted. And Winston, his pot unbuttoned. To say the situation was awkward, it was !

They look at each other, wondering what the almost fuck is happening. And then Phil takes Winston and replaces him in the corner of the room, still topless. Dan sits next to him, happy to see his loved muffin. Well, I don't actually love you back right now, Danny-boy. Then he takes me into his hands.

And as I slowly reach his mouth, I can hear Winston's screams. Tears are running down my cake. I want to scream my lover's name but no sound comes out of my mouth. I can't say anything, fear blocking my throat and stealing my voice.

The last thing I see is Winston's eyes reflecting the pain torturing his heart. Then everything becomes black and I murmur a quiet "farewell".

This is the story of how I left my first love. But also of how I met my last one, in Dan's stomach - Phil's cereals that he ate as a vengeance.