Leaving Love

All I Have

Because she helped me out a lot while I was writing this story. Also because her writing inspires me :) You should read it too!

It wasn't something I expected. No, it was something completely unexpected. It came on so suddenly too-- I don't know. It was one of those things that doesn't really hit you until it does, but when it did...

Oh, did it ever.

----

Fourteen days, or so my calendar says. The teddy bear printed in the margins distracts me a little. Instead of looking at my messy scrawl, I find myself looking at the bear. It's ribbon is... chartreuse, I think, or maybe a bit more olive. If I were my normal self, I would call it green, but Elle distracts me too, like the bear. She gave me the calendar after all, so it isn't such a far cry that it should remind me of her.

Yes, I'm reminded. It kind of hurts.

And then I go back to thinking, 'fourteen days.'

It seems like such a long time, but it isn't really. Weeks pass by in seconds, and I've only got two of them.

Fourteen days.

The bear beside that Sunday is waving. The ribbon around its neck is a yellow-green (chartreuse) which makes me think of... something. I don't know. The color makes me feel nostalgic-- or maybe the day makes me feel nostalgic and the color is just me trying to change the subject. One would think I'd have more interesting things to think about, but no.

It's either that ugly color or that beautiful girl. One hurts my eyes, the other my chest.

Which is better?

I wonder...

My refrigerator gives a little gurgle. It's hungry, I suppose, just like I am-- both of us are empty. It's devoid of food, and I'm... well, I'm like that too, but there's a greater depth to my loneliness. I sigh, loudly, and imagine for a second that I can see my breath on the stagnant air of my apartment.

I can't, of course, but it doesn't keep me from shivering and pushing my hands together. It's cold.

I'm cold.

There's a letter taped to my wall. It smack-dab in my line of vision, because I'm a sort of masochist like that.

My dearest friend,

I'm moving away in a couple of weeks. Thank you for everything!

Love,

Elle

Reading over it, I can't help but feel that it's a stock letter. She probably gave one to everyone who gave her something for Christmas. Me? I gave her my heart, wrapped up with a ring. One would think I deserved more than a couple lines on a sheet of paper.

No such luck, I'm afraid.

It's still important to me though; it's all I have. That, and fourteen days.