Swanqueen One Shots

Wedding Crasher

One shot -

Summary: Regina hires Emma via Craigslist to be the worst possible date to her sister's wedding so her mother would stop meddling in her love life. Things don't go as planned.

..

She doesn't know what to expect when the door lurches open and the woman standing before her is... well, ungodly pretty, for one. Judging by the fancy mansion and somewhat egotistical description when she checked the ad on craigslist, Emma kind of expected someone more prudish.

And leaning closer to her forties, not that Emma ever really had an issue with age in the past.

But the woman is far from the vision Emma's formed in her head - from the soccer moms to the straight rich ladies who get a kick out of cheating on their husbands and sleeping with women. Instead she's about Emma's age and height - maybe a little taller with those ridiculous designer heels she has on - with short, perfectly coiffed hair and pretty eyes and Emma just knows she's screwed from that moment on.

An eyebrow quirks up when she takes in Emma's red leather jacket and worn boots.

"Are you an Emma S?"

"Um... yes?"

"You're late," the woman says dryly. "Come in and leave your shoes by the closet. I'll go ahead and make us some drinks before we discuss business."

And that's all the woman says before she whirls around in her tall heels and Red Valentino dress - Emma only knows this because she's seen it once on a trip down in Manhattan and it cost more than a month's worth of rent.

And yeah, so it's rude and basically screams bitch. But the dress does its job and Emma's left staring after an ass that is at least nice to look at.

She should've known better than to try her luck on craigslist.

..

"Would you prefer water or juice? I also have cider if you'd rather day drink."

There's a condescending edge to her voice when she says this. Emma resists the urge to roll her eyes and vows to make this as short and painless as possible.

"Water's fine."

Several minutes later when they're seated in the parlor and Emma's stuck with a bottle of purified holy water, she shifts nervously when the woman - who still remains nameless as far as Emma knows - studies her from the seat across.

"I never did catch your last name, dear."

"Swan," Emma says and clears her throat. "Emma Swan."

"Very well Miss Swan," the woman replies. "My name is Regina Mills."

Before Emma can respond, Regina stands and observes her with a more critical eye, like she's some sort of scientist and Emma's the unwilling lab experiment.

"Yes," Regina murmurs after a moment. "Yes, you will do. I'll expect you back here this coming Friday morning at 8. We can discuss payment adjustments on the way to Las Angeles."

It takes a second longer than usual to gain her bearings, but immediately Emma feels herself go into defensive mode.

"Wait, what?"

"I'll be sending you a list via email on what to bring. However I'll be the one providing you with a dress."

"Seriously?" Emma says. "Listen, lady. I get that this whole thing is just a transaction to you, but you still haven't told me what I'm supposed to be doing."

Regina glares at her, as though it's her fault Emma has no idea what's going on.

"Didn't you read the ad before you decided to barge into a stranger's home?"