Chapter 8: The Check

Cielo Gold had this to say on my website: “One of my servers had a couple dining in her section who pulled this same crap. Only when

they complained about the food being horrible, they didn't say anything until they had paid the check and didn't want any sort of compensation for their unhappiness.

It's a bit unfair to do this to a server because it doesn't give them a chance to make the customer happy or the situation right, Plus, if there truly was something wrong, how is the business to know how to fix the problem if there is no proof in the problem existing in the first place?”

Ah, discounts. My casual dining restaurant has been known to feature a coupon or two in the mail, especially during these somewhat perilous economic times. Everyone likes a coupon, right? Buy one entree, get one free? Who wouldn‟t love that? Your server, that‟s who.

At my restaurant, the average dinner entree is going to run you about $18. Which is not bad at all, because it includes a side item, and with some entrees you get two sides. So the average dinner check, with no frills (appetizer, dessert, bottle of wine) is about $40. This means that if you and your dinner companion received excellent service, the tip should be six to eight dollars, more if you are that awesome breed known as the Phenomenal Tipper.

However. Lets say that you are one of the lucky RCs in possession of the coveted Buy One Get One Free coupon. You‟re check will come to about $20. What is the acceptable tip on $20 worth of food? Three or four dollars. So you should leave a three dollar tip, right? Four dollars if you‟re feeling particularly magnanimous? WRONG!

Folks, let me break this down for you. You didn‟t get $20 worth of food and beverages, you got $40 worth. You were only required to pay for $20. What this means is that you also received service on $40 worth of food. That‟s right, I had to bring out two meals, two sets of side items, keep two beverages refilled, and deal with the needs, desires and quirks of two people. So, even though you received a free meal, I still had to serve it to you!

Here‟s another scenario. Lets say you „re friends with one of the managers. You come in with your boyfriend, and you order dinner, drinks, dessert, all that good stuff. When the bill comes, your friend the manager has comped (industry term for “made complimentary”) a substantial portion of your bill. Where you would have paid $60 you are now paying $25. Woo-hoo, right? Absolutely a woo-hoo situation. However. Does this mean you leave the waiter $4.50 and tell him to have a nice day? No! The manager didn‟t serve you herself, the waiter was still required to wait on you, for $2.65 an hour! Should the waiter be penalized because you know somebody? The correct tip in that situation would be nine to twelve dollars, although more is certainly acceptable.

In fact, more is in order here! Lets face it, you can afford to tip phenomenally and still leave with extra money in your pocket!

Next situation. At my restaurant, we have a teamwork policy. That means that we are required to run each others salads, appetizers, entrees, drinks from the bar, desserts- you get the picture. So, lets say I‟m your waitress. I take your order, I bring out drinks and bread. Another young lady brings your appetizer. I bring out your salads and refill your drinks and bread. A young man brings your entree. I check back on you to make sure that entree is everything you hoped it would be, and I bring out another round of drinks. I clear your dishes as you are finished with them, and I offer you dessert. You order two slices of cheesecake, which the other young lady brings out to you. I check back on you concerning the dessert, and bring you the check.

Here‟s my question to you. On your $60 tab, do you leave me $5, because, lets face it, I didn‟t do it alone, I had plenty of help, so why should you leave me an 18% tip all to myself? Heres why. Because you are tipping on the service you received, and it sounds like we treated you like royalty! All kinds of people attended to your every whim. So should I receive a phenomenal tip based on the phenomenal service my restaurant provided you with? Absolutely! You were my table! Rest assured I ran around and helped my fellow servers provide phenomenal service to their tables as well. Its called teamwork, folks.

The lesson here is simple. If you are lucky enough to receive a hefty discount on your bill, and three or four servers wait on you for the price of one, don‟t screw your server out of the tip s/he so richly deserves.

While we‟re talking about the price of the bill in relation to the tip (aren‟t my segues awesome? It‟s a gift). If you go to a restaurant and have to count every single penny in order to afford the meal, you shouldn‟t be eating out. At least not at that particular restaurant. If they tell you a soft drink is $2.39 and you say “Ooo-wee! Too steep for us! We‟ll have us some water and a bowl of lemons, and a whole lot of sugar. A salad with an extra bowl, a burger, cut in two- no that‟s one burger for both of us, and plenty of that free bread please, cuz we‟re starving,” then the restaurant you are at is out of your price range. At the end of the meal, if you tell your server “Hey, you were amazing! Probably the best waitress we ever had here! Look here, we would love to hook you up on the tip, but we can barely afford what we got here, we‟ll have to catch you next time,” then you should have gone to McDonalds. I‟m sorry to have to say it, but it needs to be said. There you could afford two whole meals and a real beverage, and no one expects a tip.

On the flip side. When you walk into a restaurant dripping with ice, designer labels from head to toe, loudly exclaiming that you hope noone scratches up your Benz, everyone can tell that you have big money, right? They know you‟re someone who deserves the best table that the casual dining chain restaurant has to offer! The finest service reserved for celebrities like contestants from Flavor of Love! Right?

Wrong on everything above, including the fact that any contestant from Flavor of Love or in fact any reality show should be construed as a celebrity. How does a complete lack of an internal censor make a person famous? I‟m just saying! But I digress.

We in the biz have learned to distrust designer labels and tons of bling, or crispy, highlighted, hair-sprayed dos combined with sweater sets and snooty accents. Laymen may see these as obvious signs that a person has money. Let me break it down for you. Contrary to popular belief, if it walks and talks like a duck- sometimes its just a turkey in ducks clothing.

Another pearl of wisdom gleaned from years as a tableside psychologist? A lot of people who have a lot of money have it because they only spend it on themselves. What are you saying, oh wise Marta? I‟m saying that these people may order the filet and lobster tails, crab dinners and shots of Patron or, I don‟t know, bottles of Napa Sauvignon Blanc, but they won‟t necessarily leave a good tip!

I get nervous when a guy starts telling the lady he‟s with to order what ever she wants. Every time he repeats it I get more and more concerned. This is the guy that will receive his $152.37 bill, comment expansively to his date “Oh, is that all?” leave me $160 and say “That‟s all for you. ALL of it. No change back. You did an excellent job!” Really!?!? A whole 5% tip for l‟il ol‟ me? And it only cost me $4.50 in tip share (to the host, busser, and bartender) to take your table! So at the end of your two hour extravagant night on the town, I made a whopping $3.13! And you made sure I realized it was only because my service was so awesome, because had I been a less excellent server, waiting on you may have actually put me in the hole! But with the $2.65 I get per hour, I‟m on my way to that new pair of work pants!! From the Salvation Army! Woo-hoo! (Actually, I do desperately need a new pair of work pants! So thanks so much for buying this book and contributing to the cause! )

That whole big spender thing may have come off a tad bitter. But I think that 90 percent of you out there can see my point. No one is impressed with the lifestyle you front like you live. Neither are we impressed if you truly have a substantial checking account. As servers, we‟re providing you with a valuable service. We‟re working hard so that you don‟t have to! All we ask is that you show us the money- and leave some of it on the table for us.

You can grab my ebook at http://www.amazon.com/How-Better-Restaurant-Customer-ebook/dp/B0043RSDY6/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1285080570&sr=8-1 on Amazon! Follow me @marta_daniels on Twitter.