A Summer of Firsts

Choose Now

Chapter Nineteen

Choose Now

          After a week of my plan and having amazing times and falling harder for both of them I had to choose. Landon and Bryson both demanded that I did. They don’t realize how tough this is on me. Truth is I cannot choose.

          I sat on a rock by the water fall allowing the tears to slide down my face. Who should I choose? I love Bryson and he makes me feel special. But I love Landon too. He makes me feel like a kid again. How do I choose between these two great guys? Then it hit me, what I had to do.

          Footsteps behind me caused me to turn around to see Bryson walking up in a black tux.

          “Hey, Bent,” he said as he sat down beside me.

          “Hey, Bryson,” I manage to get out I could feel the tears coming on.

          “Did you choose?” he asked gripping my hand and starring into my eyes which made me melt.

          “Bryson, I love you with all my heart, but…” I could see his eyes glaze over and I stared down at my floral dress. “I cannot choose,” I said and felt my tears breaking past my eyes. “Since you guys need me to choose now though I made my choice,” I sighed and looked down at our intertwined hands. “I choose…” I began and loosened my grip on his hand and prepared to make a getaway. The tears were already streaming down my cheeks. “Neither of you,” I finished and my crying became harder I knew this maybe a mistake and I braced myself for the same reaction Landon had when I told him. He got mad and flipped out.

          To my surprise Bryson just… he just cried. I felt horrible and I felt like I had made a huge mistake, but a part of me knew I had to do that. I leaned over brushed my lips on his cheek and stood up tears still falling down my face. “I am so sorry Bryson. I will always love you, always,” I said between sobs and turned around and headed back to the house leaving him crying on the rock, but I did not stop and look back because it would hurt worse and I may even take it back.

          Once back at the house the truck was already packed with Hannah and my things and Lexi and Hannah were sitting in the truck. Quickly getting in we sped off and I watched out the window as the ranch slowly disappeared and so did my summer of firsts.

          Before long Hannah and I sat on the plan ride home. Hannah held me the whole way as I cried. I really just wished Landon never loved me and Bryson never lied. My summer would have been a hell of a lot easier.

          The plane touched down and it was all like a blur getting off walking into the airport and being greeted by a warm hug from my mom. People rushing around were like so motion and I still hurt so badly. I could not help feeling like I made the biggest mistake ever.

          Once back in my cozy room I began to unpack. As I pulled out my lose fitting shirt and jeans that I wore when I first arrived in Montana and seen Landon in. The purple, floral, knee high, spaghetti strapped dress I wore when I first looked into Bryson’s dark green eyes. The glasses I wore when he first really spoke to me. The bathing suit I wore when Landon and I went swimming. All the outfits from my dates with Bryson and talks/arguments with Landon, they all brought back memories causing me to cry. Like the white dress I wore when I found out about Bryson and Mandy’s deal and when I first really kissed Landon.

          The summer came back to me along with the feelings of love, nerves, friendship, happiness, and hurt. After days of unpacking and repacking everything for college I was loading my car up and watched as my mother and sister stood in front the house crying. The late summer breeze sent my hair slapping me in the face.

          “Call as soon as you get to your apartment!” My mom said as the tears skidded down her face.

          “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Hannah warned with a wink.

          “Ok I will mom and I won’t Hannah,” I said hugging each of them and kissing their cheeks.

          “Have fun,” Hannah manage to get out between the tears.

          “Learn something,” my mom said firmly then smiles.

          I nodded as I slipped into my driver’s seat. “Ok, I love you two,” I said starting the car.

          “Love you too,” the said together and then mom said, “if you need anything call us.”

          “Ok, I will,” I said as tears slide down my face. I waved bye and drove away but not into the sunset or anything.

          It was a couple hour drives to the university and apartments, but I was so happy when I got there to be out of the car. I carried my things up to my personal apartment and for the next few days I just unpacked and got settle in with the faint thoughts and dreams of this summer.

           That was until one day I was in the kitchen baking myself some cookies when I heard a knock at the door so I skipped across the kitchen and living room to the door in my silk shorts and white spaghetti strap shirt. My hair was a mess and I had no make-up on and my feet were in my warm, white, fuzzy, bunny slippers.

          As I swung the door open my breath caught in my throat. There he stood in a pair of wrangler jeans, plaid shirt, and cowboy boots. All the memories came back and so did the tears. I began to cry as I stood there starring into his eyes. I couldn’t believe he actually showed up. He was standing here with a red rose and his sweet smile.

          “Hi,” I breathed and the tears continued to slide down my face.

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