My Story (How Bullies Ruined Me)

Hi as some if you know I'm Brittany, better known as Britt, I'm 16 years old I'll be 17 December 1st. My favorite color is green, and this is my story.

I had went to the same school all my life ever since I started kindergarten I've been in the same school. You would think since we all grew up together we would be friends but no. Kindergarten was when I had all kinds of friends I wasn't shy I was confident. Ok so the bullying really didn't start until I got into middle school 6th grade for me. I thought it was going to be awesome, I was getting older! I was going to be one of the cool kids. Everything was alright that's until a new kid came in. I befriended her because she lived beside me. She came over all the time. She then developed a crush on my little brother. I was ok about that because he didn't like her. He was in 5th grade at the time. So ok I was in 6th period when the teacher aside to Katie (the girl she was in my class) I heard you are dating a 5th grader named Timmy. And she said yes! I was like no she's not. He's my brother. And blah blah. So after that at home she turned into a bitch. She was mean so I was mean to. In school I was a different person I was quiet and nice and crap. But at home I wasn't quiet. Katie then started going around school saying she felt sorry for my family, and that I was a bitch and all that crap. She stole my friends. I told my mom I told her mom. But they were like no she just want to make friends and other crap. She tried so and too hard to get into the cool group it was embarrassing. After she started telling lies about me and crap I started loosing friends. She would go to my friends and tell them crap about me said I talked bad about them. That's when I started loosing friends. She was a devil to me nobody seen it they said no hunny she's trying to be your friend. And then when we started 7th grade her mom moved to Arkansas. She left Katie with us so she could get settled. Katie then tried to steel my mom. I kept on telling my mom that but she said no that I'm only being jealous. Nobody seen it. Katie was the sweetheart I was the jealous devil child. Katie had moved in the middle of 7th grade. So 7th grade is when the bullying started full force. I got called names, tripped, food threw at me, food dumped on me, I was called bitches cows all that stuff. I was chubby. I was called dumb, stupid, retarded. These to boys in math always always picked on me about I was dumb and crap. I wasn't good at math I sucked at it. When we got our homework back after it had been headed they would take my work and laugh and so my grades to everybody. I didn't know what I did to be bullied I wasn't mean I didn't talk bad about people I didn't call them names I didn't throw food at them. I kept to myself. So the little friends I still had left me except for 2 but I barely got to talk to them because we had no classes together. I felt so alone my self esteem was out the window. I was ugly I was stupid, I didn't know anything. I didn't want to go to school. I begged and cried not to go. I skipped school just to not be bullied. It got so bad my mom had to go to court because I missed too much school. The teacher didn't like me. And my geography teacher was a bully also. He called me a bum, worthless, I wouldn't be anything. I would end up pregnant and working at a McDonalds or Sonic. I would depend on the tax payers money to get by. I was worthless in his eyes I was nothing, just because I got a free lunch because my mom couldn't afford to pay for it. My mom has 5 kids to take care of. Now 3. I couldn't handle it anymore it was too much, I cried myself to sleep. I had panic attacks at school. I was trapped. I felt helpless and alone. It felt like nobody love me nobody cared. I didn't love myself I gated myself. What did I do to deserve that? I would keep all my emotions in until I got home and let it all out on my family. I screamed at them I hit them I cussed them out. I had turned into something I wasn't. I was a sweet girl. But that changed. My mom was at her wits end. So she took me to a therapist. A couple of weeks talking to them they pulled me out of school. They said my self esteem was gone. My confidence was gone. And if I stayed in that school things would get worse. So I was put in homeschool. Best thing that has happened. But I was scarred. I had in my head that I was fat worthless and dumb. I had stopped eating. I wasn't myself. But now 2 years later I'm better. I still have my moments I still think I'm not pretty, and fat but I'm better. I'm happier but I'm confined. I rarely leave the house actually I barely leave my room. I let those people rule my life I let their words destroy me. I have no friends. I'm lonely. I haven't lived a teenage life. If I go out in public around big groups of people I panic, my heart starts to race I can't breathe. Just the other sat I went to MacDonalds with my family. It was packed, I couldn't breathe we had to go into the kids play room to eat. I'm only comfortable around children and old people. But if I stayed in that school I wouldn't be here I would be dead. I will admit I would have killed myself. It was that bad.

I just wanted to get my story out there to let people that are bullied know that they aren't alone. If you are bullied and need somebody to talk to just message me. I won't judge, because I know how it feels. I paid the price of keeping it all in. You need to let it out. Please don't let these bullies rule your life like I did. Don't let them ruin you, don't satisfy them. Just don't. We need to stop bullies it's close impossible, but we can stop them from ruling us.

Stay strong -Britt