Superman Stole My Panties Contest Entry: Plot Twist

"If I was to die tonight, would it tear you apaaaart? Would you yell it from the rooftops dowwwn?" I sang along, badly might I add, with the radio on my way home from work. I loved this song, and while I couldn't sing, I belted it out when it came on. 

"Nice voice Princess." 

I screamed like a banshee. 

"I swear, when I finally get to see your face I'm going to hit you so hard you'll have to take off your shoes to shit!" 

He chuckled, then the chuckle turned into a hearty laugh, and then soon I heard a thump on the floor of the car, and then his roaring laughter. 

"I'm not kidding!" I yelled, hitting the steering wheel. 

This seemed to make him laugh even harder, and I had half a mind to stop in the middle of the road so I could reach back there and strangle him. The only reason why I didn't is because I have a feeling that I wouldn't be able to work an orange jumpsuit. 

I swear, that's the only reason why.   

Finally, he seemed to be sobering up, and then I nearly peed myself when in a flash he's there, sitting the the passenger seat.

I take a hand off the wheel to clutch my chest. "Jesus! What is with you?!" 

"Not my name, but nice try." He responds, completely indifferent to my anger. 

"Shut up. Seriously though, you need to quit sneaking up on me like this. It's getting annoying." 

"Just annoying?" He turns to me, and I briefly focus on his lips before turning my attention back to the road. 

"Shut up." 

He smiled then, and something in the pit of my stomach churned. "So am I forgiven then?" 

Right, I'm supposed to be angry at him, "No, you're not! It really pisses me off that you think you can come into my room whenever you want, and just take whatever you feel like!"

"I have a feeling that we've been over this-" 

"Let me finish! I'm willing to overlook that stuff. Why, I don't know, but I am. But sneaking into my bathroom while I'm showering is crossing the line! I should have you arrested!" 

"That might be a good plan, if the cops could find me." He answered nonchalantly, as if he hadn't committed a crime. 

"That's all you have to say for yourself?!" I shriek, and swerved as the idiot in front of me slammed on his brakes. 

"No. In my defense, I was just taking back what was rightly mine, since you, you know, stole it." 

The audacity of this man. "If you had just shown me your face when I asked you to, none of this would have happened." 

He snorted, "If you hadn't nearly had your brains splattered on the McDonald's floor, absolutely none of this would be happening." 

That was true. "You still shouldn't have been in my bathroom," I finally muttered. 

"And you shouldn't have stolen my mask, so we're even," Superman replied, looking smug. 

"We are so not even! I was naked!" 

"Oh trust me, I know." 

I think steam was coming out of my ears, "Get out," I snarled, finally starting to lose my patience with him. 

"I was just kidding around with you Princess, I didn't see anything," He sounded sincere, but then right when I was about to completely forgive him, I heard, "Unfortunately."