Take my heart back

Life is as normal as it was before and that fact kills me. As I got out and look around, cars continue to drive on the road and people are still as busy as ever, the unfairness of it all makes my head throb. In my mind I know nothing will ever be the same because nothing has ever broken my heart this way.

That hallow feeling and the nagging reality suddenly makes it so hard to breathe.

They say that the truth hurts but they never said it kills you. Not physically maybe but emotionally and mentally and spiritually, it does.

“Rosie what are you doing there?” cried Wendy, my best friend. The look of concern written all over her face and normally I would’ve said something to wipe that look off but today there’s nothing left of me to give to anybody and I feel so tired to even speak.

She ran towards me and I saw Justin, her boyfriend trailing from behind her with the same worry on his face. Wendy reached me and pulled me in a tight embrace. I heard her sob but I say nothing. My own tears flowed down my face silently.

I don’t even have the energy to let out a whimper.

“How about I take you home? Let Justin handle the rest from here” offered Wendy while giving Justin a glance as if asking him to do what she said. “I will” he muttered in reply. She turned back to me and I stared at her through blurry eyes and managed to give a light nod.

The drive home was filled with silence. I know Wendy is trying to think of words to make me feel better but given the situation no word or action can ever console me from the pain. Maybe she realized that that’s why she didn’t say anything.

When we reached the house my heart just broke into a million pieces again. The place held all memories of him. A lump formed in my throat but I swallowed it along with the tears that are starting to form again.

Wendy led me to the bedroom and told me to rest, I obliged. I just felt so tired. But his scent hit me the moment my head and the pillow collided. This bed has Aiden written all over it. With the comforter keeping me warm along with his pillow I just imagined it was him embracing me.

What I wouldn’t give to be in his arms again, to feel his body next to me and to hear his deep voice whisper in ear.

I couldn’t suppress the tears and the sobs anymore. Despite the lack of energy I felt, just being in the bed where we used to lay together only reminds me of what I lost. The onslaught of tears was loud and unceasing. Wendy who was in the kitchen cooking something rushed back to my room.  She slowly walked towards me and sat by the edge of the bed waiting for a reaction or simply gauging my emotions. I couldn’t help it anymore. Being in this bed without Aiden was just too much.  With all my might I bolted up towards Wendy’s consoling embrace.

“I’m so sorry Rosie. I’m so sorry” she whispered over and over again.

“Bring him back” I begged while clutching helplessly tight onto her and sobbed even more. But Wendy could only say she’s sorry. “Please bring him back to me.” I begged repeatedly despite knowing it’s futile.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Rosie… Rosie… Rosie…” a deep masculine voice whispered in my ear softly. The smile automatically appeared on my face despite my sleepy state. I groaned as I opened my eyes and stretched my arms a little. Aiden’s beaming face occupied my line of vision.

“Morning sleepy head” he said teasingly. I raised one of my hands to touch his face. He leaned into my touch then brought up his hand and laid it on top of mine. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand in a tender manner. Aiden gently removed my hand away from his face and motioned to pull me up in a sitting position.