1.
"What do we call him?" said a voice. The man who heard the voice would have put a name to it, but he had just whited in after a long blackout period and didn't quite have his bearings.
Another voice replied, "What do you mean? He's probably got a name. Let's just wait until he wakes up and then he'll tell us what he's called."
"I think we should call him ... Thengnot."
"Thengnot? Why would you call him that?"
"Why not? That could be his name for all we know."
"For all you know, you are a walking banana."
"Whatever, jerk. Look, what do you want to call him?"
"Oh, gravy. Uh, how about Bill? Yeah."
"Bill? Boring. Let's go with Hellgoring the Magnificent."
"You have finally taken a big leap right off your gourd, haven't you?"
"That was yesterday, you fiend."
"I wish you were a rotten apple so I could pitch you into that swift river over there."
Oh, that's right. Layor and Regor Posigee. How could he forget? He heaved a sigh mingled with a groan and instantly regretted it.
"He's awake, eh."
The man opened his eyes slowly, of course. The brightness of the day was washing away clarity of sight with pain. He could make out the dark blurs that were the heads of the two brothers as they leaned over him.
"You awake?" said ... Regor. Yes, that was Regor.
"Of course he's awake," said Layor. "Otherwise he wouldn't have made that noise and moved around."
Regor sighed. He did that a lot. Hoping to finally quiet them, the man of their debate said, "Yes, I am awake." He sat up.
Layor giggled. "Yes! I was right. He's awake. Hey, what's your name? Is it Hellgoring?"
"No, that is not my name."
"Oh."
Regor said, "I think it's your fault we wrecked here. Your doughnut shaped ship sorta hit us. I think you owe us money. Why were you even coming this way?"
"Yes, I struck your vessel. I had not expected it to be in the way."
"So, why are you here?"
"What's your name? What's your name? Hellgoring, right?" said Layor.
Shaking his head and standing, the man said, "I am simply a pilgrim. I seek a special artifact that my people lost here." Layor and Regor looked all around.
"Lost in the forest?" said Regor.
"So your name is Pilgrim?" said Layor.
"Yes -"
"I knew it!" said Layor, loudly. He marched around Regor and the Pilgrim, jerking his bent arm and clenched fist downward in that universal gesture of I-so-rock-I-was-right. The Pilgrim continued, "Yes, it was lost in this forest."
"Bummer. You probably won't find it, man. That's a big forest. Things that get lost in forests aren't usually found. It's a scientific fact." Regor seemed confident of this.
"As you say, but I must seek it." The Pilgrim brushed twigs from his perfectly white toga-like robe and studied his surroundings. They were atop a green hill which had a single tree upon it, blossoming in white glory. It felt like a warm spring day with just a touch of moisture in the slight breeze. To his right was a dense patch of trees. A wide river ran into the trees. It stretched far into the distance, as well. There seemed to be a dusty road on the other side of the river. Behind him were more green hills that grew barren the farther back he looked.
