Everything You're Not [On Hold]

I started crying as soon as I got off the phone with my mother. She had just given me the worst news, ever.

She wouldn’t give me any specifics, all she said was that my father had fallen ill. He was a forty six year old lawyer in New Your City. He exercised three times a week and every Saturday. What could’ve gone wrong in the two short months that I’ve been away?

 “Miss, can I see your ticket?”

I looked up not taking in the women in front of me.

Her face had distorted from curious to concerned, “Miss are you alright?”

She had touched my shoulder which made me jump.

I shook my head trying to shake the thoughts and feelings of guilt.

I stood  up, and the women took a step back and extended her hand.

“Can I please have you ticket?”

Looking the women up and down, I realized she was a flight attendant. Taking in her navy blue knee length skirt and matching jacket I handed her my ticket.

She turned and walked to the podium standing in front of the terminal door. I glanced above the door to see the clock counting down; I nearly missed the flight by a minute and a half.

As I approached the podium she smiled and handed back my ticket, “Have a nice flight.”

I mumbled a thank you and headed down the terminal to the plane.

As soon as I got to my seat in first class I took the face mask from behind the seat in front of me, and went to sleep.

I woke up to someone giving me a slight shake.

“Miss, I’m sorry to wake you but, you’ve been sleeping for four hours, would you like something to eat?”

I lifted the mask from one eye and glanced at her. She was holding a tray of food. I was about to protest why she had to wake me when my stomach made a noise that begged to differ.

I just sat p straighter pulling off the mask and nodded. She smiled and lowered the fold out table in front of me and put the tray on it and lifted the cover. There laying on the tray was a array of food.

There was a giant chocolate chip cookie that jumped out at me but I restrained myself and took half of a Turkey Swiss sandwich off the tray. If the sound of my stomach wasn’t enough, the way I scoffed down that half and started on the other really said how hungry I was.

By the time I made it the cookie I was exhausted again. I should’ve slowed down.

My phone went off as soon as the last bit of cookie was in my mouth.

It was my sister.

“He-wow?”

“Sierra? Is that you?”

I took a swig of Sprite and swallowed hard.

“Josie! How’ve you been?”

“Well, let’s see I… Sierra I have to tell you something.”

“Yea, what is it?”

“I-I’ll wait until you get home.”

“Josie-“

“No, it’s fine. It can wait until you get home.”

“Are you sure?”

Her voice was shaking as if she were on the verge of crying.

“Yea, I’m sure. I’ll talk to you later, sis.”

“Hey, Josie!”

“Yea?”

“I love you.”

Her voice really started shaking and I’m sure she was crying now.

“I love you, too.”

The line went dead.

I fell asleep thinking about how screwed up my family had become in my absence.

 My dad is sick with an illness I didn’t know about. I couldn’t help but feel responsible. Would he still be sick if I hadn’t demanded a vacation away from them?

My mother has drunk called me three times in the past week, right before she told me about my father being ill today she  constantly told me how she hated me and she didn’t want me to come home. Then again she did call me Sandy in one of those conversations. I don’t know what my dad’s sister had to do with it but she sure did sound pissed. Of course, she doesn’t remember any of it.

Then there’s my sister Josie. She was hiding something and it seemed to be eating her up inside. My sister has always been the stronger of the two of us. She ruled the sophomore class last year and I’m sure she’ll do the same this year. She always said that she wanted to be just like me when she was younger. Yea, we are both popular for the money and power my parents have but the difference is that she had back bone and always spoke her mind and never let anyone walk all over her. I wish I could say the same.  I was popular alright but I constantly said yes to everything. I let my boyfriend – ex- boyfriend— walk all over me and was afraid to stand up to him and break it off when I found out he cheated on me with my best friend—ex-best friend— who luckily was dethroned by the end of the year.

I plan on returning brand new. I’m going to be more like my sister. Less bitchy, of course.

There still a way to be strong and independent without being a complete---

On my first night in London my friend and roommate Gina took me to a club where I met Joey. He had an accent that made him even hotter then he already was. We instantly hit it off and planned to go to the next day. I gave him my number right before Gina came up and said that it was time to go.

It felt like fate. I told Gina all about him on the way back to her flat. She had this weird look on her face that told me she knew something, but wasn’t saying. I tried to press her for the details.

“Gina! Tell me please.” I said it while leaning the side of my head against her shoulder as she drove on the wrong side of the road.

She glanced at me then back at the road.

“Look, Sierra, Joey has—

“Miss, Miss. We’re landing.” Said a voice shaking me awake.

I jumped at the turbulence under my seat.

My head was throbbing from the memory. As I started gathering my things I couldn’t help but think back to Joey and what Gina had said about him.

As soon as I got outside the airport I spotted my family right away.

My dad was leaning against the car, with his arms crossed ready to take my luggage, and put them I the trunk. My mom and sister got out of the car as soon as they seen me.  I looked back at my dad and studied his face. It was grey and he had dark circles under his eyes.  I paused two feet away from the car, and the just dropped my bags and lunged into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around me instantly, squeezing me gently, whispering into my hair, “Welcome home Sierra Mist.”

I stepped back and whipped the tears that had escaped. I couldn’t help but giggle at the nickname he gave me ever since I refused to drink any other soda other then Sprite, and Sierra Mist.

I looked over and squealed, “Mom, Josie! I missed you guys.”

I grabbed a hold of them and we embraced for a good three minutes before my dad started hacking. All three of us flinched; it was obviously taking a toll on all of us.

After we place my luggage into the trunk Josie grabbed my hand and said, “I want to hear all about you trip!”

I gave her a weak smile and got in the car and scooted over to the other door and looked out the window. The only thing running through my mind as all the familiar New York City scenery was that she did not want to hear about my whirl wind adventure across the pond. If anything I was hoping to forget it.