A rose to remember

It's been ages since I lost my mind. But what else would you expect me to do when love came to my door.

For most of us it...no- she...or he? Whatever you got my point- come knocking silently, but for me not only with horror and dim, but also broke down the door. How did it stardet? Let me tell you my story...more of a tale, although.

                                      Te Extraño [I miss you]

My name is Phost Usmanov. I'm 25 years old boy with big dreams for the future. I just finished college and got a degree in nuclear chemistry. My work wasn't that bad, but it wasn't perfect eighter, that's why I became a teacher until I find a better place for my brilliant mind. But then it hit me.

He was one of my students...

                                                      WHO WAS HE?

Last year of school, always standing somewhere behind all the people. It was like he never wanted for me to notice his existense. Blonde, with blue eyes, never smiles or puts away his headset, but writes everything in his notebook. Just to make sure that he listens multiple times I made him answer my question. How did he answer? Correctly...just correctly.

I overheared a conversation between two students from the same group.

Two girls, that always get C+ in my classes.

-Isn't it strange that the blond guy, what's his name...Dorophey has better grades than ever since the new teacher came?

-When you mentioned it, yes.

-Do you think that Usmanov is excepting cash for good grades?

-I don't know, maybe?!

To make myself clear I walked near them I said:

-I can assure you that you're wrong. What about trying harder to get an A, or you're too busy talking shit about me?

Not a single respond. I got my point clear as a diamond. I'd like to see the look on their faces when they see their own Fs on the last paper. F strands for "I don't give a F***".

                                                    INTERESTING!

So, Dorophey Berozevsky. The one who made my life a living HELL.

As you'll see afterwards I wrote a lot of poetry for him. Things that I mean, but can't say.

The stars are up,

but I'm in hell.

They think I'm a nut,

you know it quite well.

A rose to remember

I gave you that day.

I rushed it further

just to make you stay.

                                                THE FORBIDDEN NOTE

                                                         THE ROSE TO REMEMBER

I looked forward talking to him. The note you saw was the last one he ever got from me. Because now he's gone. dissapeared, but inside my heart he lives in peace. But what happend?!

A month after I got my job as a teacher, he started sitting closer and closer to my table...and one day- on the first row. Just starring at me, listening to me, no head-phones. Eating me with his ice-cold eyes.

                        貴方の目は美しい  [anata no me wa utsukushii] your eyes are beautiful

One day I was just about to go home. After the bell rung I grabbed my keys, threw my coffee cup in the bin and walked traight to the parking. And what do I see?

Dorophey standing next to my new BMW.

-Excuse me mr. Usmanov. Can you give me a lift?

I didn't know what to say, so I left my conscious take a part.

-Yeah, sure-I answer carefully-hop in.

There were a couple of silent minutes. Only the radio made any sound. I was going to change it, but I fell a grip on my hand. Dorophey stopped me.

-Please don't-he almost cried-I love this song.

Right then I tried to listen. It was playing "coming down" by Five Finger Death Punch.

-So many memories-he said after few seconds and closed his eyes.

-I hope to see you here next year, mr. Berozevsky. you know how to teach, and I'll give the best of me, I promise.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, because I have a lot of plans for then.

While I was a student in Bulgaria, before I came to Russia, I was learnnig japanese at Veliko Tarnovo. From a japanese teacher I once heared

     来年のことを言えば鬼が笑う [rainen no koto wo ieba oni ga warau]

Translation: If you talk about the next year, demons are laughing.

That's also his case. you can't be 100% sure what will happend to you tomorrow , what about next year? It's a derision of fate. Or maybe we just like to soothe ourselfs.

-By virtue of Murphy's law, nothing good can come after your coax for the demons.

I heared the thing I most disdain- big noisy grin.

It was quite compelling so I started laughing too. The anslaught inside my stomach almost made me crash. That's why I pulled over coughing.

'Damn sigarettes' I though to myself 'They'll kill me one day if not today'.

Then I looked at Dorophey. for a first time I saw the clarity, deplorable desire to clutch at each other.

And he kissed me. A deluge of emotions, spurting out of my heart.

But it's all over now. I got fired and he couldn't bear the fact...so he just suicide.

Right now for a last time I'm standing here on his grave, all alone.

For a year I was coming here, the same day, same time. Every friday afternoon at four o'clock.

And everytime I put a red rose on the gravestone.

Soon I'll be with him forever.

I'm here to leave a last rose to remember.

                                                                                                                   THE END