Never Told A Lie (Phan fiction)

Chapter 6

Friday.
5:30 in the afternoon.

Dan and Phil are both seated in Dan's living room, leaning over his Maths book as Phil tries to teach him stuff he already knows, anyway. Slowly but surely, Dan starts to regret this idea. It might have made hanging out with Phil easier, but at what cost?
Maths is just plain boring and Dan thinks he's going to die soon if he doesn't do anything to cure his boredom in some way.

And if being bored isn't enough, Dan's also kind of really annoyed by Phil's behaviour.

Now, usually he wouldn't mind too much that Phil's rather shy and sort of scared of him, since it's pretty funny (and cute), but seeing as it seems to be even worse today and Phil can't even get out three words without stuttering, it just really irritates Dan.

And maybe he should feel bad for being so pissed off about something that isn’t really Phil’s fault, but fact is that it’s really fucking annoying. Dan can’t even do as much as look at Phil without making the boy stumble over his words and turning bright pink.

“For fuck's sake, Phil.” Dan snaps, eventually, throwing his pencil onto the table. “What’s your fucking problem? What are you so damn scared of? I'm not going to fucking eat you. Jesus fucking Christ. You act like a scared kid whenever you’re around me.”

Phil lets his own pencil drop and stares at Dan for a few seconds – doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything, just looks at Dan with wide eyes and a quivering bottom lip and-

No, Dan thinks desperately. Please don’t. Don’t fucking start to cry.

“I- I-“ Phil squeaks, breaking their eye contact and hanging his head. “S-sorry.”

A tear slides down his cheek and Dan sighs. He can’t believe he made him fucking cry.

“Look. It's alright. I get that you’re … intimidated, or whatever.” Dan says, quietly, taking Phil’s hand and squeezing it lightly, trying to show his sympathy somehow. “But you have to understand, that your behaviour sort of confuses me. I haven’t done anything for you to be scared of, have I?”

Small sniffles can be heard as Phil shakes his head and Dan is certain that the boy is on the verge of breaking down. Well fucking done.

“Then why are you so nervous around me all the time?” Dan asks softly, Phil’s hand still in his own and he doesn’t even notice when he starts to draw circles on it with his thumb.

Phil keeps his head down as he thinks about Dan’s question, his fringe falling into his eyes, covering his features from Dan’s piercing gaze.

“I- I just- I don’t- It's not- not your fault.” Phil explains, breaking off as more tears escape his eyes and run down his flushed cheeks. “I’m just not- not used to t-talking t-to people and- and you’re sort of, you know, popular and- and it just makes me kind of- kind of nervous. I’m s-sorry.”

Phil has his face buried in his hands now (and Dan sort of misses the feeling of them in his own), muffling his words, but they’re still audible, although his hiccups make everything a lot harder to understand.

If Dan has felt kind of bad for just thinking about Phil like he did earlier, he sort of wants to punch himself now that Phil’s almost sobbing his heart out in front of him. Just because Dan fucking snapped at him. Seriously, who makes nice, innocent boys cry for being a bit reluctant? A douche bag, that’s right. And apparently Dan’s just that.

“Phil.” he mumbles, trying to get the boy to listen to him. He has to fix this now – somehow. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have said everything like I did. It was a really mean thing to do and I apologize, yeah? It's okay that you’re shy and stuff. It's who you are and I should respect that.”