prologue

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Zander's P.O.V.

Two years before she meets Michelle.

The day started off with crepes and video games, like always. Emily is kicking my ass on Mortal Kombat. We picked the same characters, we said "fight" together mockingly with the TV as we settled on the edge of our bed. She immediately went for the offense. Her signature move. It was our ritual, or part of it... and I loved our mornings. She made crepes while I started our morning podcast. We would shower together after listening to new music, I was listening to the podcast at first but I couldn't help but be mesmerized by her beauty. I start kissing down her neck while she makes the food, and after our stomachs are full, I lead her to the shower,

I gently take over washing her body after I rinse off in our shower tango. Waiting for it to respond to my touch. She lets me. I trace her body, feeling her melt under my touch. I grab her boob with my free hand from behind, and gently pull her to my body. Once I'm done I grab the detachable shower head and rinse her body while biting her ear. I kiss down her neck and whisper in her ear. Then I change the setting on the shower head and I focus for a very long time on her. Lifting her thigh from behind, I hold her in a position where I can feel her body shaking against mine. She presses against my body as she squirms and gets off. Over and over again.

"Zander, it hurts now, can you stop please." she said angelically.

"Of course, honey. Can I just hold you for a second?" I say as I fix the shower head.

"Yes" she says, turning her body she draped her arms around me and putting all her weight on me. Just like that she dragged me to the ground of the shower and I let out a giggle. "What?" she says with a beautiful smile on her face. Her breasts are pressed against mine, I tried to memorize the view and feeling in my body. I want to live in this moment, forever.

After holding her for a moment we started to make out again. I trail kisses down her beautiful frame and under the water again I kiss her lips, as if to say "until next time".

After we leave the shower she goes to lay down and I start on my yoga routine and follow her back to bed. We cuddle and around eleven we wake up again and I start the tea pot before we decide to play another round. I briefly talked her up, as if I had a chance in hell at beating her. If I used cheat codes, I would be able to in a second. But that's not how it is with her. I was happy to lose fair and square over and over again. My pride was nothing, compared to her victorious smile.

The scent of White tea filled the air, as I jump up right before the words K.O. filled the screen.

"Do you want honey this time?" I asked as I turned to face her. because she changed her mind on those things like she changed her clothes, I was never sure. but, to show off how attentive I was, I usually mentioned what she had the last time.

"Just some lemon, I bought some last night before I came in." She said sheepishly. I walked back in and kissed her forehead. "Anything you like sweety." My phone starts going off but I ignore it while grabbing our dishes. I didn't want the morning to end, but was looking forward to our engagement party. I was only going to go into work for a few hours, then off to the peer. The surprise I had in store would introduce some of my first prototypes, and I would be introducing my engagement at the same time. It was a big day so anxiety levels rising was to be expected, but I didn't need to think of that now. I just needed to be in the moment with my fiance.

Shit.

The tea hit my leg as I pulled myself back to reality. Without so much as a Yelp, I go to pour the tea with a bit more focus this time. My mind wandered back to the naked women in my bed.

I really have it all, don't I?

She was in love with all of me. She was happy to shine with me, and that's one thing that still leaves me breathless. I was never too much, I was never treated like I shouldn't strive to do more or less from her, and she taught me to love that part of myself that likes being a very giving partner, because she didn't take it for granted. I wanted to run off with her and get married right now. I finally had my life back from AAL (anarchy anonymous lulz). I've never thought I'd be a murderer, but to stop him... I had too. I deserve to be happy. He deserved to bleed to death like he did. No one could ever know what happened that night.

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Zander's P.o.v.

Three years later.

That night A firework-like show lit up the night sky, and my Tesla coils were out of sight, and hopefully out of their mind. This was the first thing that's engine wasn't based on Thomas Jefferson's work that I would make public. I was scared of using anything that looked similar to Tesla's models hidden in the C.I.A.'s archives. I got the materials through nefarious means, but it was modified enough to where it would be hard to compare at all. In fact, It was only really the power engine that I was worried about. The rest was my creation.

"Zander, it's our engagement party" she said so sadly and detached it killed me, because I knew what I had to do next. I think her gut knew it too. Sitting in my office chair with the monitors turned off, I eventually turned around once I could trust my facial expressions.

I had to stop her from seeing the carnage going on halfway around the world. But she had given up this fight a long time ago. She knew my work was private, even to her. But she knew it was for her protection. That didnt mean she liked it.

I saw her poorly contained snarl as I turned to face her. The world didn't know it was counting on me, she didn't know how important my work was. I was the only one who could win this war. I couldn't tell her...the image of my first girlfriend's blood dripping from my fingers filled my vision, and I knew I had to stop beating around the bush. My love or my responsibility to the world. I should be happy that I have the ability to protect her, but I still feel the bile in the back of my throat. Her new life was already planned by my new assistants, I guess even with the best intentions humans can still be so... selfish. Because everything inside me screamed for the women in front of me. My body is selfish. Before it gets too deep, I know the only way I can truly save her and minimize casualties. It's worse than I let myself believe. I was so selfish in believing I was enough to keep us safe originally.

For a moment I let myself think of us escaping to Japan. We briefly talked about it when we first started dating. She would be the artist and I would write. I visualize us secretly writing mangas together. She would want fame, but I would convince her to stay in the shadows. Even though I would love to see how brightly she could shine.

But the moment passed. No one had the balls to stop them, not even the u.s. military. I let myself get attached again. Idiot. Have you not learned? How many women have to die because of your negligence?

Never again.

"Michelle, I'm so sorry".

Please, for my sake, learn to love again.

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