Chasing Fate

Once I entered college there were only two things in my mind. Making new friends and Showing the world how much of an awesome filmmaker I was born to be. That’s all. I didn’t expect to like someone, much less fall for someone, even if everyone kept telling me back then that there is a huge possibility that I will meet someone new in college. I’m not saying, I never expected to fall in love, I guess what I’m saying is that it just wasn’t on the top of my list right now.

AMIA

The evening air was filled with excitement as the party began. It’s just how I imagined a legit college party would be, only 100x better. The whole stretch of this huge open field was filled with teenagers , splashing each other with paint, singing their hearts out and dancing the night away.  Most of them were taking pictures,  50% because they probably want to have a picture to instagram or tweet , 30% because they probably think they can get creative shots and 20% because they actually probably want to document the fun they’re having right now. Okay, I’m not here to judge people on what they’re doing, I’m here to have a good time.

Do you ever have one of those moments when you just feel lost in the music, and sing your heart out even if you probably sound like a tone deaf walrus? I’m having that moment right now, except I’m not a tone deaf walrus…. I think. And it’s not just me; all of my friends are having the same moment. They have that same look in their eyes, and the same excited expression. And while we’re not singing or dancing or jumping to the beat, we’re laughing at how stupid we all look in our paint splattered clothes.

A splash of pinks and oranges clouded my view. One of my new friends just splashed paint on us again. My shirt looks as if I’ve been rolling around in different paint colors all day and we’ve only been here for an hour and a half.

 “Wow, what happened to your shirt?”  My friend Chris laughingly pointed out.  The lucky bastard wore a black shirt tonight so most of the paint doesn’t show that much. 

“Har har, Chris, just because you’re wearing a black shirt tonight doesn’t mean you can get away with it” I quickly gathered all of the still wet paint from my face and immediately splashed it on his face. We ended up laughing out loud.

Chris and I have been side by side for most of the night, and I have no idea why. I would have thought, the person I’d be with for most of the night would either be Fiona or Fleur since I’m talk to them more often, but no, it was Chris. It’s not like he’s following me or anything, or vice versa, we’re just strangely at the same spot at the same time. Ever since this afternoon before we all decided to go to this venue together, I’ve started to be more aware of Chris. I even keep looking at him sometimes. 

Okay, I’ll be honest, maybe I like him a little bit, and I’m sort of enjoying this. But no, Amia, you have to be faithful. You still have someone waiting back home.

When our group of friends decided to go over to the side and buy a few drinks, I kind of walked away from him. He’s bound to notice the close proximity, and I really don’t want him to think I was clingy or something. While drinking my cold beverage, I saw through my peripheral vision that he might have been looking at me so I casually glanced at him. There I saw it; a subtle movement of his head and eyes. No I’m not overreacting about this, I just always know how a person looks like when they’ve only just looked away.

But then again, why on earth would he be stealing glances at me? Maybe I had paint on my nose or something. Quickly, I swiped the back of my palm over my nose bridge.

The music changed to another upbeat song.  We all gathered around near the stage again and this time everyone knew the lyrics so everyone started to sing their hearts out and have that moment again. Chris was standing to my left while Fiona was on my right and Fleur right in front of me.

After the song finished, a loud boom erupted from above followed by a flash of different colors.  Bright hues of greens, yellows, reds and blues where visible across the dark evening sky like paint on a black blank canvas. It was beautiful. I’ve always thought fireworks were amazing; they never fail to make me smile.

Abruptly, my smile faltered. It was always a tendency for me that whenever I smile at something like this, people think of me childishly. I mean, I’m a petite girl, and I admit I still kind of look like a child, but that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t take me seriously.  Being taken seriously was one of the things I want in my life and now that I’m in college, I really need to be taken seriously. But I would love to have one day of appreciation or at least one person who would understand my appreciation of all of this without belittling me.

CHRIS

Today was fun, I admit. But my mind keeps showing me everything I remember about this certain girl.

The way she laughs.

The way she talks.

The way she says my name.

The way she kept on looking at me.

The way she almost saw me looking at her.

And how happy she looked when she saw the fireworks.

That was probably the thing I remember the most. She had a smile that could make anyone feel her happiness. The light from the fireworks perfectly illuminated her face and I couldn’t stop looking at her. She looked beautiful as the fireworks themselves.

I blink back into the darkness. Did I just think that?

I roll over to my side. My clock says it’s already 1 am.

I stood up and walked over to my desk. I found the picture I was looking for and stared at it intently. I love this girl, right? So why am I thinking about someone else’s smile?

I really need to get some sleep.

Maybe I’ll think clearly in the morning.

Maybe I’ll forget about her smile in the morning.

But to be honest, I really didn’t want to.