What happened when I jumped.

HI thanks for cheacking this out this is my 3rd story so if you want please feel free to read the other 2 ok hope you like this short story.

 

 

You need to understand that my life isn’t what it should be. I’m one of those people who seem happy on the outside, but when alone am depressed. I stopped a long time ago trying to have a happy life when I knew I was going to end it anyway. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me; I’m not afraid of death. I’m just waiting for it; I’m just waiting for my date, my time and I’ve already set it. I don’t care what dying is like. I don’t care if it’s painful or if it’s not. I don’t care since I know how I’m going to die and when. People try and tell me I’m too young to die but they don’t know what it’s like being me. They think I’m just some freak, but I’m not. I’ve just come to terms with what my life will be and how it will end. I’m going to jump.

 

I spend a lot of time on my building, getting to know it, getting to know the one last thing I will see. I like my building, where it is, what it looks like and what I can see from it. I don’t know if anyone will miss me or not, and I don’t care. I know that sounds thoughtless but it’s me. It’s my life and I have the choice to end it if I want to or not. I feel if people want me not to jump, then they would have told me. But they just say that I’m ‘too young’ - nothing about me as a person, just my age. You know, I do wonder why people are scared of death; yeah, it might hurt for a while, but then all the pain goes away forever. It can never make you feel small or inferior again.

 

 

 

I’m up there now, just thinking about stuff, school work, good books I’ve read. As I’m deep in thought, I feel someone come up behind me. I start to turn around to see who; it’s probably just a worker. I decide not to look and pretend there is no-one there.

 

“Hey”. It’s a guy. I can tell by his voice, but I don’t think he’s too old. I turn around now to see this guy, about my age standing behind me, with a confused look in his eyes.

“What do you want?” There is no point having small talk. I can see in the dim light that his eyes hold both happiness and worry.

 “Are you going to jump?” His voice is smooth, but holds a hint of a harsh tone.

“What?” I don’t know why, but I don’t like the way he just comes out and says it.

 “Are...you… going…. to… jump?” I open my mouth but he cuts me off. “I’ve seen you up here most nights sitting on the ledge.”

“You’ve been WATCHING me?” I don’t know this guy and he’s watching me. I don’t want to be watched when I jump. “Why the hell are you watching me?” I say, venom pouring out of my mouth. He flinches away from me, from the tone in my voice

“I don’t want you to jump. I don’t want you to leave me!” Whatever the answer I thought I was going to get, it wasn’t that! I have no idea what to say. I don’t even know who this guy IS! And he’s acting as if I’ve known him for a really LONG time. I’m really confused. All I want to do is jump, to end my life and then this freak comes up and is talking to me.

 

I think that I must have been standing here for a long time; I snap out of my daze to see him sitting in front of me playing with a rock.

I think that I should say something -I have no idea what, just something, anything, just say words….

“What? … I don’t understand…” I stammer, then I feel annoyed. “How do you know me, and what’s your name anyway?” I start to get louder. He looks up as if curious as to why I am being bold. He stands up and looks into my eyes.

“Trent.” His voice is soft and slow as if not to scare me. I am shocked. Then I realise what he has just said, and I feel my eyes bulge out of their sockets as the memories start to come back to me. Trent, my Trent, my best friend; the guy I love and who loves me too, the one who left without a goodbye, the best friend who knows everything about my life, my best friend from my lonely childhood. Why now does he have to show up again? Why, when I am about to jump? Why? I wanted to jump. NO, I want to jump, but now it will be hard to say goodbye. I want to jump to leave my sad life behind me. “I want to jump.” I don’t realise I’m saying that out loud, only when I hear what he says, do I realise.  

“Are you completely sure you want to jump?” he asks, with a sense of content in his voice and yes, I am completely sure…. I think… but maybe I’m not. No, Yes, I am. “YES, I am”. But even I hear the waver in my voice. I turn around not wanting to see his face. I step up to the ledge and look down.

“Well, if you’re sure then. I just wanted to let you know I’ll miss you and so will my family.” He still has the contented sound in his voice. I hear him walk away. I look back at him standing at the door to the roof. I look out over my building’s edge one more time and I make my decision.