I remember the last day I saw Adam Taylor, it also happened to coincide with the day I broke his heart. Back when we were the two geeky loner kids in Park Hill High.
It all started when I dumped my books in my locker and cringed away from my reflection in the mirror.
"It really is a crime to have so many mirrors all over the school, I mean in our lockers? Really?" I asked Adam; someone I wish I could call my best friend.
"I think they're just so that you can always see how beautiful you look all the time," he replied with a smile.
I smiled sheepishly back at him. See, if we were able to converse properly without him always commenting on what's not there; for example, my supposed 'beauty'; then maybe I would meet up with him outside school and I could be like every other teenager in the world and actually have a best friend.
"So what are you doing for lunch?" he asked.
"Canteen," I replied because it was a given. I mean when did Adam and I ever do anything different for lunch?
"What about dinner?" he asked.
"Well I think there's some Chinese left in the fridge," I answered oddly, why did he want to know my dinner plans? Unless... Oh shit... Please don't ask me out again, please don't ask me out again, please don't ask me out again.
I don't even understand why he 'likes' me. I mean I have really frizzy hair, and not Taylor-Swift-fabulous either. Not to mention my glasses, I might as well hold up magnifying glasses they're so thick, I also have the entire Ugly Betty works with my braces.
And I never did think I was fat but at the beginning of the year I was washing my hands in the girls toilets and two cheerleaders from my year came in. One of them said "OMG, I'm so fat!" I casually rolled my eyes in their direction, excited thinking I was going to see the first fat cheerleader, like, ever. But of course the girl was nothing but skin and bones.
The other then replied, "At least you don't look like, Laura or something." They both sniggered and walked out of the toilets. I usually would have hissed, "it's Laurel," and "I'm not fat, you guys are just anorexic bitches," but not that I like to admit it, I was kind of on the verge of tears.
Adam looked at me expectantly and I shuffled my memory back to what he said. Oh right: "Well in that case, whaddya say you come over and we could watch a movie or something?" Damn it.
I looked down at my feet. "Er," I murmured, again sheepishly. That seemed to be the way I acted around Adam a lot, awkwardly.
"Or, I have the new Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic game on Xbox if you want to play that with me?" he asked with a huge smile on his face.
Oh God, I was going to have to reject him again. I felt really bad about it every time I did it, but he had to understand, I just wanted to be friends. And he was my only friend; it really did put a strain on our friendship every time he asked me out.
And not to mention the fact that I had used every excuse in the book, I mean really, the only thing left was for me to tell him that I had some socks that needed washing and I couldn't tell him that, he might have been a little annoying but he was my friend.
He had been my friend ever since kindergarten and it wasn't until 7th grade when he started getting really weird and supposedly in love with me. Before that we used to be the best of friends but not so much anymore because two years later in our freshman year he was still a bit of a freak.
"Well, actually, I asked my mom yesterday," I looked into his hurt face making things up as I went along. "If I could date, and she totally forbade it so I'm really sorry but I can't."
"Your mom's still on that business trip," he replied, his voice devoid of emotion.
Damn it, forgot about that. "Oh, yeah, um, that, must have been, um, last week, no actually, the phone, there! We were talking on the phone," I answered, triumphant with a smile; but he looked as if he was on the verge of tears. God, I'm a bitch.
"For God's sake Laurel, if you don't like me why don't you just say it? I mean I thought that maybe all those things really did crop up, your mom's birthday, you had too much homework, you needed to study, your cat's death anniversary, your hamster birthdays, all plausible things, but now I get it, you don't like me, but why don't you just say it?"
Because it will hurt you?
Because it's mean?
"Why don't you just tell me that you find me so utterly repulsive that you can't even go on one lousy date with me? Why do you have to be such a bitch and lead me on all the time?"