Entry 1

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I've lost you once before due to my naivete 

this time, I can't help but blame you 

I gave you my heart for nine months

nearly all my thoughts all fucking day were of you

call me obsessed


but you urged time and time again:

just friends

you don't want to hurt me because you can't commit

you called yourself  a whore

and the second I accept that

and the second I start dating someone else

you fuck it up


you're my best friend

I've never felt the way I do when I'm with you

now I've got this disgusting taste when something

(everything) reminds me of you

your fucking name

your taste in music that I was oh so lucky to have rub off on me

the places we went together, that I now find myself going to on my own

the long days we spent all day alone

how your fingertips felt on my skin


I didn't think you returned any affections

after all, you assured me you wanted nothing more

All the little things you did started to add up,

 sadly not until it was too late:


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