Time Traveler HOVA Meets the Vampire Nicholai Cage: Tides of War

1345.

"What ungodly creature are you?" He had me by the throat, lifted against the stone walls of the crypt: just enough so that I could speak, but just enough that all my energy hinged on not choking to death. Chunks of skelton and lime had broken loose in the struggle, dust tossed into the air. I had told myself, before I came to this time, that vampires were not to be fooled with: it was proven right and I may have paid the price on only my seventh trip. "How do you know my name, moor?" his face came close as he searched my eyes through my Oliver Peoples.

"I know you are Nikolai Czage," I started through clenched teeth, "I know what you are and that your lineage goes back to Uros Dusan." He tightened the grip, only for a moment, and I could see the edges go white on the limits of my vision.  "And what purpose do you have with me?" a bit of spittle came from his clenched teeth.

I pushed up against his hand with all my strength, tucked my legs under his arms faster than he could react - pushing my Timbalands into his chest, putting every fucking bit of juice I had left into his left thumb and pulled like I was going to flip him. I knew I'd barely allow him to release me. It worked. The look of surprise on his face was priceless, I moved him about two feet off me, "I'm no moor, bitch." As he was about to strike me I held my ground and took off my glasses, "You sent me, Nikolai, 700 years from now." The asshole still made motions to strike.

I met his right arm with both of mine and pulled some bushido-new-jack-shit on him (making sure I learn it 300 years from now in Japan from Oda Nobunaga). Even the hardest polearm can be expelled with the right misdirection. Nikolai's arm soon met the ground, and all of his energy moved there. He had to have broken both the hand and the ulna, so I kicked it from under him. He fell into the dirt, but, before I could even blink, he shifted backward, throwing the dust from the crypt in his wake. I just yelled "Slusati!" until he stopped - he placed himself in a classic defensive posture, but I just stood with my legs out and my hands out. He was strong: anyone lesser would have screamed in agony.

"Nikolai, relax! Like I said it was you who sent me here." I motioned to a pocket of my leather jacket: his eyes glowed bluer as they followed my hand. From it I produced a letter, sealed old-school, with a red wax and Nick's imprimatur. It was two snakes, intertwined like the symbol for infinity, both heads eating one another. I threw it at his feet, "You recognize the seal, bra?" The seal got his attention.

He relaxed his posture and snagged the envelope before straightening up. He kept an eye on me, carefully walking the chamber until the intersection of two walls met his back. He crouched, "I gave this to you...from the future?" I nodded and rubbed at my throat. I would call Nick, this Nick, an asshole in my head, but I knew that he could hear me. I just felt the feeling without saying it outright. Better establish that I have my 'line' too. I arranged my weapons again - if this fool gets stupid...

...

2002.

Nick Cage, the actor, eyed me like I was the asshole. He was in his trailer on the set of Matchstick Men. He kept eye contact, but nodded his head, at first almost imperceptibly, then with resolve. He was making his mind up.

"Ok. Let me get this together, mon frere," he paced the room, and spoke with that familiar drawl. Yet, he kept his right shoulder pivoted in my direction (I think he believes I am a vampire hunter or some nonsense), "You have the number one rap album in the country and somehow figured out the science of time-travel. And, you need my help in the past because I cannot travel with you." He paused with his blue eyes square into mine, "Good so far?" I nodded.

"You believe that I," he made a mocking chuckle, "am a...vampire." He punched up the look of incredulity. "You need a letter to myself, to deliver in 1345, to build upon something that will be needed prior to World War I?" He stopped pacing and lit the room up with an ear-to-ear smile. This dopey bastard thinks I'm kidding.

"You gonna help me or not?" He laughed out loud in response.

Now it was my turn, "Ok Czage, I get you don't believe a black man can build a time machine," he bristled at this and shook his head violently, "that's alright, understandable. But you have to, for the sake of the argument, that there are forces building, culminating, to an event in 1911 that I need help with. The world's population is at stake. I wouldn't ask some punk-ass vampire to help me with shit otherwise. So, Nikolai Czage..." at this I tossed a small brushed polished cylinder in his direction, he caught it, but not without his entire body convulsing. He dropped the vial immediately, but not before I could see his complete transformation, "...vampire. You gonna write me that letter or what?"

He scowled at me and kicked the vial to the other end of the trailer.

...

Nikolai stared at the letter for several moments. He took a deep breath and completely crushed it in his hands, then taking the missive to the torch to burn away. I had already set the time device in the interval of his reading the letter and I put my back to the open passage behind me. I don't know what I'll do without Czage's help, but I know I can't afford being dead. I took out my tools this time - two metal nightsticks this time around. This time it will hurt him, maybe even kill him. He moved toward me as I stiffened up. Instead, he walked right past me, toward the opening of the underground crypt.

"Follow me." Now we getting somewhere.

...