Against All Odds

Chapter 87

Chapter 87

“What are you doing here?” Alex’s voice asked in a hushed tone.  I wondered about who he was talking to, but it was very quickly made clear.

“That’s none of your business.” Coles’ strong voice boomed loudly. “Just let me see her, She needs to hear what I have to say.”  No I didn’t need to hear what he was going to say.  I already knew how it would work, and I wasn’t about to let him waltz back into my life and mess everything up.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you.” Alex countered, his words steady and accurate.  Alex was what I needed and right now he was all I could ever want as well.

Yawning, I stretched and pushed myself off of the floor and onto my feet.  Feeling slightly- okay incredibly - awkward about being completely in the nude, I wrapped a blanket around myself; securing it under my arm.  Wanting to avoid what was sure to become a screaming match at the front door; I snuck to my bedroom and closed the door.  I dressed quickly, slipping on undergarments before slipping into a pair of loose, thin lounge pants.  Deciding that my sports bra was good enough, because all of my other clothing was still stowed away in the many buckets and bins that were stacked all over the house, I ventured out of my bedroom and back into the living room.

The house had begun to warm up now that the furnace had been up and running for awhile and it was much better than earlier the previous day.  A content smile snuck lazily onto my lips as I wandered through the house eventually making my way back to Alex; who was no longer alone.  He and Cole stood facing each other in the midst of a heated argument, their brows furrowed in agitation.

Cole looked unkempt and withdrawn, his skin pale and his eyes bloodshot; it was as though he hadn’t slept in days.  His lips were dry and cracked; his hair was longer than before and mused by hands that ran through it with tension visible in every movement of his long fingers.  Bruises and scrapes marred his transparent flesh as though he had been fighting.  His body trembled with a weakness that seemed to drain him of all energy.

“Cole,” I murmured, stepping into the room, “What happened to you?”  His eyes snapped up and locked on mine, innocence clear in his wide eyed  gaze.  His once clear eyes were hazy and confused, darting to and fro as though they refused to focus for fear of what they might see.  The fire that burned behind those stormy eyes had been extinguished, leaving a hollow emptiness in its wake.

“Kandee?” He whispered reaching a shaking hand toward me, disbelief clouding his tired eyes.  His fingers brushed my skin, but unlike times passed, there was no spark, no  tingle, not even the slightest flame.  There was a cold icy chill, a frosty static in the air as his soft features froze over, becoming colder and more unwelcoming then the vicious winter air.  I could see it click, see the realization in his eyes; watched as all his false hopes came crashing down upon him.  Our fiery love had burned itself out, and I could see that his heart had been left in the inferno in hopes that my own heart would be there as well; but it wasn’t.

“Cole,” I spoke softly, guilt floating on my words; knowing the I was to blame for ruining our once perfect world.  His soft eyes were no longer pale and gentle, they had hardened and darkened so much so that I could have sworn I was looking into the emerald eyes that now haunted my dreams.  It seemed too real, Matt was dead not Cole.  Yet he was there, standing right in front of me, his dark eyes laced with confusion.

“No, Kandee; it’s me, Matt.  Don’t you remember me?” All of the pieces finally fell into place.  The denial, the need to leave, why Skylar hated me so much; it all made sense.  My mind had been playing a cruel game with my heart and I was finally catching on.

“Cole’s dead, isn’t he?” I whispered, turning slowly, to face Alex.  “All this time you let me believe that I was right, that I wasn’t denying the truth.  You all lied to me.” I choked, my words filled with hurt and accusation.  “How could you?”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked, “Cole’s standing right there, Can’t you see him?”  

“Don’t listen to him, it’s me,” Matt’s velvety voice whispered in my ears.  His athletic form leaned against the archway into the dining room, his toned body solid and unwavering.  At the same time I could see Cole as well, shivering and swaying slightly, on the opposite side of the room.  Confusion swept over me like an ocean wave at high tide, leaving me with nothing to grasp at.

“I’m going to go lay down,” I mumbled, backing out of the room slowly.

“Cole, I think it’s best that you leave,” Alex said coldly, escorting Cole to the door.  No more than the door shut behind him, Alex turned toward my retreating figure.  His brow was creased with concern, worry laced with confusion in his dark ebony eyes.  “Kandee are you okay?” He asked softly, reaching out to take my hand in his.

“I don’t know; I can’t think straight.  He seemed so real, it seemed so real, Alex.” I whispered staring at the floor.  Why couldn’t I just be normal?  Why did shit like this always have to happen and make me look like I was crazy?  “It’s just, I thought for a minute that everything was making sense, the pieces all seemed to fall into place; and now it’s like I have to start all over and try to make sense of it because nothing is what it seemed to be.”

“I know you feel guilty, and I realize that you might not be ready to accept it, but sooner or later you will understand that this isn’t your fault.  I wish I could make all of your confusion disappear and make everything crystal clear, but I can’t.” He murmured trailing his fingers down the side of my face.

The butterflies danced in my stomach at his heartfelt gesture, and my heart soared with gratitude.  My eyes lifted their gaze to meet his gentle gaze of admiration, there was a look of adoration in his cocoa eyes.  I wrapped my arms around his lean torso and hugged him tightly, my tears rolling off of his bare skin.  The steady rise and fall of his toned chest greatly contrasted the quivering of my shaky breathing, my body trembling with my frustrated cries.  Alex stroked my hair soothingly as he held me close to his warm body, his actions slowly calming my racing pulse.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, wiping away my final tears as I drew a steadying breath.  Nothing made sense anymore and my ‘fresh start’ was already falling apart;I knew this would be hard but I never once thought it would get this bad.  Nothing seemed real anymore, like everything around was just some hallucination conjured up by my comatose brain.

“You’re not crazy, and even if you were I would still want you; I’d want crazy.  Hell, I do want crazy.”  Alex murmured softly, pressing his lips against my head and squeezing me in his arms.  

“You’re so corny sometimes, you know that right?”  I giggled, wiping away the last of my tears.