Childhood Crush

Haunted Memories

I layed in bed, It was 1:00 AM but I couldn't sleep.
Memories haunted my brain.
I haven't had nightmares since last year.
But they came back, again.
It started 11 years ago.
I was 8.
~
Dad, Mom, Nick and I were a happy family.
Dad was 31 and Mom was 29.
I was 7 and Nick was 5.
We lived in California.
Dad always went to work early and came back late.
At least that's what he told us.
Mom didn't work so she stayed home.
We were happy.
On my 8th birthday we went to a resteraunt.
We saw it.
My dad was kissing a strange woman.
It was heartbreaking.
My dad.
He cheated on the most happiest and innocent woman in the world.
My mom was delicate like a flower.
And he broke her.
But for the sake of my birthday my mom kept a smile.
She pretended she never saw anything.
For a year she kept a brave face.
We lived in a small apartment.
She struggled working every day for Nick and I to have food.
But every night she declined food.
And I greedily ate a lot.
When I was 9, Nick and I were walking home.
Mom promised to make chocolate chip cookies.
Which see used to make a lot before she divorced Dad.
I heard police sirens all around.
I ignored them.
They couldnt be related to us.
Right?
Police stopped us from entering.
But I pushed them.
I ran for my life.
I entered with my key for emergencies.
I saw my mom.
Lifeless on the floor.
An empty bottle of pills in her hand.
On the table there were 5 batches of hard-worked chocolate chip cookies.
With a note.
"Melodie, Eat nicely and don't forget to save some for Nickybear, XOXO Mommy"
My face was numb from the tears I didnt know were falling.
I fell to the ground.
Cuddling in my mom's cold hands.
I saw that the past year she was paler.
I saw she was depressed.
I should have saved her.
I should have been her light.
I fell slowly into a coma and police officers burst into the apartment.
Blurry.
Blurry.
Blurry.
Black.
Next thing I knew I was getting adopted by an old couple.
Zachary and Ellen Pole.
They were loving.
They were caring.
I wish I knew them before.
But they never replaced my love for my mom.
Nick and I loved them and they loved us.
But a year after, Ellen fell ill and died from cancer.
Zachary loved Ellen with all his heart.
Even at age 80 you could see their love.
It was painful to see his gaze a month later.
He passed away from starvation.
Nick and I again lost our closest things to family.
And we were escorted to an adoption center.
A couple in their fourties adopted us.
Wendy and Stewart Hepps.
They were nothing like Zachary and Ellen.
They abused us.
They laughed at us.
They blamed us.
After a year they threw us out to the streets.
All the money Nick and I saved since Mother's death.
And all the allowences dad sent us.
We flew to Georgia.
Our uncle took us in.
I was only 10 at the time.
Now I'm 19.
But dont get me wrong.
Before Mom's death life was not hell.
We lived next door to our family friends the Griers.
In California.
Next to the beach.
They supported us when Dad cheated.
They helped us with some money.
And I was very close to their son Nash.
We played together since we were 4.
Till age 9.
Then Nick and I moved away.
But at school I was bullied.
And Nash was my only friend.
At age 7, I started having butterflies in my belly every time I saw him.
I had a crush on him.
He was my best friend.
I was bullied mostly by Acaia Summers and Logan West.
They were obviously together.
Nash was the only one who stood up for me.
As a kid he was very emotional and poetic.
He always wrote poems.
One I remember greatly is one he made up when I was getting bullied.
"If I were a dog, And you were all flowers, I'd lift my foot up, and give you all showers."
He was perfect.
~
Now, Laying in my bed and staring at the ceiling.
Thinking about him.
I wonder how is he.
We didnt talk much after I left to go to Georgia.
I wonder how these 9 years improved on him.
He would always be my childhood crush.
Even if he is completely different now.