Faultless

Flashbacks

These insecurities I have, the belief that I will never be allowed happiness and the distrust in people and their sincerest intentions is what made me destroy my family.
5 years ago, I left my family and turned away from the only ones who gave me happiness. Eversince then, regret and unexplainable sadness accompanies me every single night.

Dayne POV
It's my birthday today. I woke up to my alarm clock and immediately flashed back to all the happy and memorable birthdays I had with my family before leaving them. I hate my birthday. It's not because I age but I will always remember them everytime. I can't block out the memories during this time even if I work til exhaustion. They will always be on my mind the whole time.

Flash back #1
The sun is shining on my face.
"who the eff opened my curtains!" I mumble under my breath and rolled to my stomach in order to block the sunlight. Unfortunately I didn't realize I was at the edge of my bed and had fallen face up on the floor. I had my eyes still closed mainly because I just hate waking up. I hate the transition from sleeping, groggy, heaviness then fully awake. But having felt the pain on my butt from falling I just had to open my eyes. There I was greeted with balloons with all the possible shades of green, my favorite color. I was speechless and amazed at the wonderful array of green balloons! I loved it! It instantly awakened me and made me smile. Just as I was wondering what these are for and who did these, I scanned my room on the floor and spotted 3 huge boxes with ribbons and what looked like to be gift boxes. As I stood up rubbing my behind lightly, I screamed in surprise when the boxes burst with confetti and all of my family came out of the box to greet me happy birthday.

I shook my head to and forced my mind to stop the flash back and brushed my teeth. I look beyond awful in my reflection in the mirror. Bags on bags under my eyes are showing because i've been working too hard these days. I've been drowning myself with work because of my upcoming birthday. My supervisor has thought of it as a preparation for a request to leave on my birthday. As a gift she gave me 2 consecutive days off from work as a sort of gift. But oh my god was she so wrong. I had talked to her about it but she was having none of it and just said I work too much.

Flash back #2
Going through my cubby in the bathroom I just couldn't find my toothpaste. I gave up and used the one sitting on the counter. I woke up late for school, as usual, and was in a hurry to finish. As I looked up from brushing my teeth I screamed in horror to find my teeth in an awful green! There was a knock on the door and as I opened it, confetti was thrown at me with a very loud happy birthday!

I gargled loudly in order to stop at those memories. Again, I hate this day! I'm gonna have a mental breakdown before today ends if this continued.
"I hate you!" I whisper screamed at my reflection. I punched the mirror breaking it together with the skin on my knuckles. I let the blood trickled from my hand to the floor and looked blankly at my distorted reflection on the broken mirror. I diagnosed myself with depression with a destructive behavior. I sighed and took a quick shower. Bathing would give me a lot of time for a flash back again.
I focused on the pain on my hand as I quickly shower but would still have snippets of flashbacks.

Someone from my family was cleaning my wounds because my father had hit me again. I was crying but was held into a warm hug while another was cleaning my wounds. He whispered to me assuring me I was now safe and fell asleep. I saw another snippet of the time when I was laughing being chased on the beach with and was about to fall when strong arms caught me and stopped me from falling. Unfortunately the one who was chasing me crashed to both of us and we fell down on the sand anyway with scrapes and all.

I smiled at the memory but it made my heart hurt. Will I eventually develop a heart disease from all these heartache?

I wandered down to the kitchen not really clothing myself but just in my towel. I'm alone in this huge penthouse. I have worked enough to afford a penthouse. No neighbors and definitely no peeping toms.
I fixed my favorite cereal and milk and ate quietly at the counter. I opened the TV to distract myself with the current news.

Flashback #3
"Vincent! You're on tv! Why haven't you told me you were a famous violinst?" I screamed at the kitchen when I heard the news of him. He merely shrugged and promised me he would teach me violin too or the piano if I want. We can then perform a duet.

Snippets of piano practice with him flashed through my mind. I found myself sitting on a baby grand in the living room which I had hastily purchase last year. I huffed and resigned myself to the memories of my happy family while playing my favorite piece.