Lost and Found

Lost and Found (on hold)

My world is filled with hopes, dreams, sadness, happiness, love, hate, war, peace... But what's in between? Mutual, either or? This world of mine is so confusing with more than one decision to make; so many that my head hurts. I don't want to think about these things. All I wish for is a simple life with an ordinary routine to follow for the rest of my high school years. My world is filled with thoughts that are meaningless.

 Paint me lost in the darkness.  

Paint me slipping away from every thought, 

Sinking in despair - unable to escape.  

Paint me with pitch black in sight and light always on my back. 

Being lost in an ocean of tears, 

And not knowing how to swim.

-Marcus

My world is filled with reality. No magic, no creatures, no worthwhile adventures; only my own imaginations to keep me sane. I wonder if one day, I'll wake from this bad dream and find myself as a vampire fighting a dragon controlled by ninjas... But to be woken up yet again by an annoying alarm sounding to shatter my imaginations. My world is filled with thoughts that are meaningless.

 Paint me brave, 

Yelling, screaming, punching through the darkness. 

And at last - Paint me saved, 

Being lost but to be able to be found. 

Paint me happy with the warmth of the sun shining upon my face.

-Vivian

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The teasing won't stop... So what if I'm sensitive?! Why can't they just deal with it? I wonder if one day, there'll be someone who can accept this side of me instead of get embarrassed when I'm around them. I want to meet someone like that; someone who understands me and doesn't see me as such a cry baby.

-Marcus

Sometimes dreaming just isn't enough. I want to be excited and have a reason for existing. Every day I try my best to make the day worthwhile, but since school has started yet again, it's become hard. People are harsher than ever, and if feels like I'm being stabbed in the back way too many times. I hope to share my thoughts with someone who would understand me and not call my crazy for once. I wonder if there's someone on this world that would be capable of doing so.

-Vivian

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I've decided. I will no longer be this sensitive child who needs to be watched over. I will be indifferent from everyone else; anything to stop this mental pain from coming back into my life. I despise those from my past who have humiliated me. But I cannot fully change myself. I will keep that side a secret from everyone else. It'll be like that side of me never existed, which must mean those dreaded memories shouldn't have happened. I'll lock them away, so that I will no longer have to think of them and no one will ever have to hear of them.

-Marcus

I'm lonely. Yelled at by disapproving parents and neglected by peers only makes that loneliness grow deeper and deeper into my heart. I don't want to change who am. Some say I must be crazy, but they must be crazy for not thinking my thoughts. I will stay faithful to myself. This loneliness of mine will never compare to the loneliness of what I might feel if I give up my thoughts. I will endure these days courageously.

-Vivian

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There's someone who I've been meaning to talk to for some time now. She has this cold atmosphere that make people want to avoid her. I felt bad and had a strange attraction to her, so today I finally went up to her and introduced myself. She seemed shocked that I was talking to someone like her. Her facial expressions are easy to read, so it makes easy to tell what she's most likely thinking. She's not shy to say what's on her mind and just blurts out whatever comes up. She told me this creepy story about suicides that happened years ago at this school. I think she's mistaken me as a friend. I wonder if going up to her was a bad idea.

-Marcus

I met someone today. He just walked up to me and introduced himself. I was shocked, but also in a desperate need to tell someone my discovery of countless suicides that have occurred many of times at this very school. I just blurted it out. I wonder...If he'll come to talk to me again tomorrow; I really hope so. He has a cheerful attitude and a lovely face. But there was something wrong with his eyes. I know him from around school because he's so popular. His eyes were cold even though his face was smiling...I want to become friends with him.

-Vivian

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I decided to go talk to her again - it soon became a routine to go find her at that same spot sitting on the floor between two lockers and listen to what she was thinking. I'd sit on her right, my back leaning against a locker. I can't exactly see her, so I just let her voice surround my thoughts. For some reason I have this strange attraction to her, and I want to be next to her. She's comfortable to be around, I wonder why? She's different from my friends. Though she talks most of the time, she often asks me if there's something wrong. I found it strange the first few times she asked. But now I feel a little bit relieved every time I hear it, though, I never do tell her what's wrong. Lately, before we leave our separate ways, I'd pat her on the head. I've noticed that she's very cute, and I want to pet her like a puppy. Does that sound strange? Well, she seems to like it because she lowers her eyes shyly. "See you tomorrow." I'd say before I walk away.

-Marcus

He came to talk to me again. I've started to look forward to our meetings. The way that we're seated, I can't see him and the expressions he makes while I talk endlessly to him. He doesn't say much, and that makes me very curious about him. I really want to know what he's thinking. I find myself always asking him if there's something wrong. It seems to make him cheer up a bit, so I always ask. Every time we depart he pats me on the head and says, "See you tomorrow," I wonder if he notices that it makes me happy to hear those words. But then I notice a different aura that revolves around him as he walks away. Was that always there? Or does it go away when he's with me?

-Vivian