A RANDOM STORY

CHAPTER ONE

 I walked to the corner. I stopped and looked around. It was cold. I was cold. The whole damn world was cold. I did not understand that if I kept going it would be okay. No one ever told me that being okay was well...okay.

 So going beyond all that I had heard and read and even figured out on my own, I decided to stop. What was the use? Where would it lead anyway? No where. The earth was too big, too old and too damn crazy for me.

 Floating above all of it was the proper thing to do. I was amazed that all I had to do was think about this activity and there I was...floating above the whole damn friggin' crazy world.

 Looking down on ice caps and mountains and frozen rivers and ponds that were partially covered in snow, thick and creamy looking like a delicious iced cake that your grandmother might have just made and stored in the cupboard until you got home from school.

 Flying was pretty cool. If you can imagine how it feels to just think about something then you are doing it. I was amazed also that I was not a ball of energy or a frightening looking spirit. I was just me. As I zoomed forward and tilted from one side to the other, I could see my arms reaching out as if they were performing the duties of wings, flapping a bit, fingers splayed, why I have no idea.

 I was not flying high…well, high enough already, but not high enough to avoid almost collisions with birds. But the birds were smart; they veered out of my pathway. Lucky too because I’m not sure I knew how to veer.

 All was going well and I was enjoying the grand view, wind in my face, too high for bugs to bother me. I wondered why I wasn’t frightened by the height because I was normally scared to death of heights. I didn’t even like climbing a ladder.

 I had to do that once…climb a ladder. I have a house see and during a vicious rain storm a couple of shingles tore lose and were flapping in the breeze next morning. More rain was forecast and although I looked high and low for help, I couldn’t find any. So, up the ladder I went with my black goo paint can and a brush, determined to nail those things down before the rain returned. The job itself I didn’t mind, although I did have to go on the Internet to see how to do it. It was the dreadful ladder. Five steps up and my legs were starting to shake, and I only had a bungalow. I swallowed the fear in my throat and continued to climb. That’s when my hands started to shake like a washer with a load of unbalanced clothing. My friggin’ hand shook so bad that I dropped the paint brush. I watched it fall to the ground and land with a thud. I didn’t know that I was soon to follow. One shaky foot later on a slippery rung and I was staring at the paint brush and covered with black goo. I also had a nasty bump on my head where the paint can had hit me.

I rubbed my embarrassed ass and looked around but no one had seen me. I decided it would have to rain and if it leaked at least I would still be alive.

 The fear of heights was the last thing I needed to worry about because just as I was reminiscing, out of the blue and sailing straight for me was another human being or at least I thought.

 “Howdy ho…welcome to the skies.” He hovered beside me lying on his side with his arms folded across his chest. I had no idea how he was doing that so I flew around in little circles while he chatted me up.

 “Hi, yourself. You come here often?” He laughed and rolled over, sort of doing airplane stunts in the air.

 “A funny newbie. I live here.”

 “Oh. You have a…house up here?”

 He found me quite amusing because his eyes were all crinkled up and he smiled from tip of lip to tip of lip. “Oh, you really are a newbie. How long you been flying?”

 “Ahhh… about fifteen minutes.”

 “Come on, I’ll take you on a tour.”

 He whizzed around on his stomach and took off. I never imagined I could go so fast, but I was keeping up with him and now I wasn’t even flapping hard. I guess you could say I was in the cantor rhythm. Flowing gently but speedily along, now ignoring the scenery below, that is until my new friend suddenly bolted upward and disappeared in a floating-by cloud.

 I halted, wings flapping crazily and looked upward. Was he playing games with me? What in hell was I doing anyway? I had intentions of looking down and when I did, Oh Jesus! The world was a miniature playground. Tiny cars crawling along tiny highways, houses that looked like a monopoly board, little pools of water and everything outlined in white.

 Just as I was hyperventilating, my new friend hollered down from the centre of the cloud, “You coming or what?”

 “I’m…” I almost said I was afraid, then my inner pride blocked the words and I nodded and squeezed my eyes so tightly together that I saw stars. UP I demanded, and Jesus heavenly Mary, I bolted upward at a speed I cannot even comprehend. Next thing I knew I was sitting in the middle of the cloud with my new buddy, Mr. Happiness. There was a friggin’ table and I was on a friggin’ chair. Suddenly, I began to wonder what I had eaten, drank, or otherwise consumed in some way and what the hell was this trip that I was on?