It's All in your Head | a Captain America Fanfic

twenty five

After I watch my friends leave the lobby of the tower the next day, I step back into the elevator taking me to the main floor. They'll come back tonight for Stark's victory party cause I spontaneously invited them. I also realized I have nothing to wear so I start to search for my sister. Nat isn't in her room so I guess she's with Pepper who's probably in her office. I pass the long corridor of rooms, Clint's right next to Nat's and mine. Then Thor's, Hulk's, and lastly Steve's. 

Steve has his own apartment in Brooklyn where he normally stays so I am more than surprised to see light and voices escape through the small gap between the door and the doorframe. He's not alone so I do what every noisy person would do. I step closer. Looking back, that was a terrible idea. Have I really learned nothing from the last time I eavesdropped? Apparently not. 

"You seem even more tired and exhausted than usual." I hear someone say in the room. I've never heard this voice before. But the stranger is right. I have noticed the dark circles under Steve's eyes too. 

"You have no idea how horrible it is to see her every day. She's everywhere I go and when I try to escape her she finds a way back into my life. What are the odds? Fury promised me she wouldn't go to the mission. She shouldn't be an avenger at all. This is all so wrong. I-I ... fuck."

Who is he talking about?

"Language!"

"Huh? Where did you..."

"Doesn't matter. Back to topic. What are you yapping about man? She seems genuinely nice and I think she's a great addition to the team. She'll be a great help I know it."

Wait... is he talking about me? But what did I ever do to him?

"No, no, no, you don't understand! She shouldn't fucking be here. I don't wanna see her here. In this tower. This city. This fucking country. Not when I can't... when she can't..."

I breath in very shaply. I don't like where this is going.

"Man, you need to calm down. You using swearwords is a whole new terrain for me. Now, take a deep breath and conclude all the things you just mumbled. Clear and slow so I get an idea of what is going on in your head."

"I kissed her. It gave her the feeling that... that you know. But I don't, I can't do it."

Okay this is definitely about me. But why is he making that kiss such a big deal. If he doenst like me, why does he still care? And why does that hurt even more that just being bluntly rejected.

"I hate seeing her face. All day every day. I wish she wasn't here."

That sentence would burn itself into my brain for the next years. This is it, tears start falling down my face uncontrollably. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts. Sadness, betrayal, heartbreak and anger. What did I ever do to him? He hates me for being an experiment. The winter soldier has killed far more people than I have and Steve seems to not even bother. I should've seen the signs. He's a hypocrite, liar, and most importantly a complete asshole. 

I storm down the hallway until I come to a sudden halt. A purple hue dances around my finger like a dangerous fire waiting to be unleashed. And this time I don't stop it. One after another, the lights of the tower turn out. Silently, the Avengers Tower falls into complete darkness, viewable to every person in the city that never sleeps. With every light I can sense the energy flowing into my body as if it is fueling me and my sadness transforms into white-hot anger. 

The more energy I soak in, the more powerful I feel. More alive. 

"WHO THE FUCK TURNED OF THE ELECTRICITY?!" Tony yells from his lab. 

This brings me back to reality. Oh my gosh. What the fuck just happened. That was.... terrifying... but amazing at the same time. This was the first time I just let myself go, all my emotions just flowed right through me. How do I reverse this? Shit, shit, shit. I need time to bring my mind in order so I run up to the rooftop. I might also be trying to get away from Tony and especially Nat. My sister won't take long to figure out who caused all this. 

Up on the rooftop I cross my legs and sit down to listen to the wind. I have seen Banner do the same to calm down after returning from being the Hulk. 

I can feel my heart rate slow down and my body relaxes. I focus on letting go of all the anger and just feel nothing. Nothing at all. Just think of a calm ocean, nothing more, nothing less. My fingers tingle as I release all the energy stored within me. A purple hue surrounds my whole body as if I am glowing from within and I can see the Avengers A beneath me light up again. 

This might not have been the best way to figure out how exactly my powers work but I had to find out sooner or later. I am far from being able to control them but at least I figured out what I can do. 

The little steel door on the other side of the rooftop opens and I see my sister jog towards me. 

"Everything okay? Tony said that something just took all the energy, literally everything all at once.  A few minutes later everything was back to normal as if nothing ever happened. When I couldn't find you, I figured it out. Clint gave me a hint about the rooftop. Do you come here often?"

"Yes, it's an amazing hideaway spot to just... you know. I am sorry about the electricity issue I caused. It really wasn't on purpose. The good thing is, I think I figured out what my powers are. At least the biggest part of it I guess."

Nat sits down next to me, so I tell her everything. Except for the why. I don't wanna talk about it. Not even with Nat. 

"But what triggered it?"

"It's just powerful emotions. Maybe it was the reunion with my friends?"

Nat raises an eyebrow. She knows I am lying but thankfully she doesn't ask any questions. 

"Do you wanna come back inside with me? We need to find you an outfit for tonight."

I totally forgot about the party. 

"Sure, umm I'll be right there. Just gimme a minute."

Nat leaves me on the tower and the moment I hear the door slam shut, I dial Maddy's number. 

"Hi! What's up?" I hear my friend say. 

"Is your brother free tonight?"

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A/N: DRAMAAA!! anyways, I am in my continuous update era again!! xoxo, Nastja <3

P.S.: don't forget to vote and comment :)