Crush!!! Which Lived on but Died

Part 8- Getting Close and Far

Every session was interesting, every competition was too. Every lecture was new so was every information. But still I was more attracted towards butterflies than I can ever be towards birds, I guess. Every morning walk after that day became precious moments with him. By his side, him adoring, tracing and finding the birds. Learning about it and his eyes twinkling. Me following his trail and action, observing and burning it into my memory. Every moment is precious which I am making with him. The group around us slowly started making their pair and we ended up as a pair not a pair as in couple but a pair which did stuff together. Him sharing his knowledge, sometimes showing the birds he found to me saying Hridaya can you see those birds over the tree. As less interested, I was in birds I would never miss the moment to feel what he felt. I would trace the birds thought I always find it hard; but he always showed me the exact location. He will then share his views on he same. Did you see how the mom kept her two kids close to her feeding it. Lovely right. That is when I realised, he had a subpar vision and mine was starting to take a dig. But it didn't matter as what I actually wanted to admire was right next to me.

We shared some trivial details to each other may be which others won't know. The sweets he hates and why he hates them. Him not drinking tea or coffee. His aim to clear UPSC. We shared small details.

Days went by and so our bond grew too. The distance seemed to reduce. We are becoming close and close we could be as days minutes, hours and days passed. The little habits of his raising his eyebrows when he doesn't want to talk added with that smirk, him being so focused that his mouth slightly opens whenever he encounters some interesting and new knowledge, him struggling to wake up at morning and many more. The said and unsaid details related to him I learned them all.

But something changed, he tried pushing me away not deliberately but I started feeling it. The morning walk we started took us to the plant nursery nearby. We were altogether. But he started walking away from me. Joining Piyu, Mika, Christ, Krest, Parth or whoever possible but me. I felt a pang in my heart. Why? Did he sense my attention and attraction towards him. Is that why he started distancing from me? We saw various plants and lots of butterflies, some orange, black, white, yellow even combination ones. But my eyes followed him and the butterflies didn't make me that happy today.

While walking back to the camp, I stood there for him to come but he didn't he took his time and was with everyone else, so I started walking back by myself. I felt the urge to cry. Why? I was happy just with what was there. But I don't even have the right to cry at this situation as he is not mine. I may feel jealous or possessive but he's not mine to begin with. I was talking to myself in my head walking all the way back when suddenly a bus at full speed missed me by a thread passed by me in the turning, I was making. The bus didn't horn, I felt my knees getting weak, my heart raced making the adrenaline rush through my veins I wanted to cry but shout for someone but when I turned to find I found no one around me. I was all alone. That is when I realised that it was just an unrequited love what was I flying over the clouds for. I didn't even earn a friend even now just because I was so busy focusing on him. I am so pathetic being so observant on him. I laughed and started walking, scolding myself again and again for being so stupid. I walked at my full speed, and by 200 m or so I found the group of Shek, Parth, Arjun. They waved towards me and I walked towards them and when I reached them, they all showed a worried expression asking Rida, Rida are you okay? Did you get hurt? Why are you crying? That is when I realised, I was actually crying. I touched my face and found water in it and then I started laughing looking at the panicked look on their face.

They showed me what now reaction? And I laughed louder making them worried, I guess. I said I was just missing my home and further explained what happened in the dead turn. They again got worried and asked you are sure you are not hurt right? I said no and gave them a smile as assurance and then they asked me to join them. I did and we walked back to the camp as a group with them trying to comfort and cheer me up. I felt relieved at least I made some people at this point and smiled to myself thinking about the worried look on their face.