Raven's Song

Walk in the Park

I'd always taken comfort in the dark. Before my parents divorced, during those late-night fights, I had slipped out my window to the forest that ran into the back of the park. I'd pick my way through the brush to the walking trails and wait out the storm in the trees. It was peaceful to walk under the moon, listening to the owls and night birds calling to one another. Hearing the scuttle of the nocturnal creatures.

Never had I been afraid to walk the paths alone. Mentally, they were safer than being at home. Physically, they'd been the beginning of my late-night runs.

With the music in my earbuds turned up as loud as possible, I could block out all the mayhem in my life as my parents fought over who got to keep me. I didn't worry about my slipping grades or the questions from teachers. The questions from the drama department director faded away after I quit because I didn't have a way to rehearsals anymore when my mom left.

Although, she'd made it easier. No longer had I needed to choose one parent over the other. She'd decided for me.

My dad was buried in lawyer fees and picked up more and more shifts at the station. I kept my grades up enough to let him not worry about me and only ran when he was on duty. After he'd sent a search party for me when he discovered I was missing from my bed one night, I'd promised not to disappear without him knowing where I was. He'd made me swear that I wouldn't go into the woods alone at night.

So, I'd started running with just one earbud in. No one ever bothered me. We lived in a suburb that contained mostly perfect little families and old people. There weren't any drug addicts or gang members that were going to jump me. Only raccoons and stray cats ever crossed me. Some preteens drinking on the weekend.

My night runs became even more important to me when my dad ran out of money for my private school tuition. The transition from being with my friends I'd known since preschool to being lost in a sea of faces was tough. All the stress melted off when I walked the familiar path.

On my first day, I had gotten lost between almost every period. My tour guide, a peppy blonde, had ditched me for her friends when I started asking her too many questions. She'd thought since I was a former private school kid that I would fit in with her crowd. It didn't take long for it to become obvious that I would never fit in with their perfectly manicured, perfectly tanned, perfectly dressed lives.

That was okay with me besides getting lost.

I never really found a clique that I fit into. There were people that I was acquaintances with, who I had gone to the movies with once or twice, but no one that I was really willing to take home. When my dad would ask during the rare dinner we had together, I would lie and tell him stories that made those acquaintances out to be more than what they really were. He ate up every lie I fed him.

It didn't bother me to not have friends at my new school. I still had my small group from my old school. At least, I thought I could still call them my friends. Their parents could still afford all the extracurricular activities we used to do together, so they all saw each other every day. Their schedules never left room for socialization. I'd been essentially cut out of the picture except for a few social media tags and text messages.

I stared up through the tree limbs at the stars. A sharp pain ran through my heart. It had only taken a few months for my life to morph into one I had never dreamed of.

I'd become one of those kids that we, regretfully, had looked down upon. One who went to school and went home. One who had no friends. One whose father was just trying to make ends meet.