StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

James

TW: mentions of death, torture and descriptions of a panic attack

THE DAILY PROPHET
DEADLY DARTMOUTH
A massacre has taken place in Dartmouth, England by a group of masked men.
They announced themselves as "The Death Eaters" claiming to follow 'Lord Voldemort'
This new Wizarding Resistance group has proven to be quite threatening indeed, using unforgivables to hang people by their ankles, to torture and kill.
The Minister of Magic is yet to make a statement, but I personally do not believe it will be a positive one, there is nothing that the Ministry can say to convince anyone that this isn't a threat.
Is there a possibility of a war on the horizon?

I stare at the excerpt of the Daily Prophet sent in from Mum and Dad before turning to the note they sent me, which is written in mum's elegant cursive writing

My Dearest James,

This was in the paper this morning. He Who Must Not Be Named has made his debut, he wants himself known so he can start growing his followers. The Order must now rise like the Phoenix it is so named after. I think Dumbledore may have to take up on Frank's Suggestion to host Order meetings in the Room of Requirement if we are to meet regularly. If that is so then I imagine you and Sirius will be able to attend these meetings as well and further your defence training.
This may also mean your Father and I will have to fight in many battles, ones you are not yet old enough or prepared enough to fight in. These times are troubled one, our time may very well be limited now, but that doesn't tarnish the time we have already had. Stay brave, be kind and have courage, always, my dear boy, the way you always have
All Our Love, Forever and Always,
Mum & Dad x
P.S. Give Sirius our love

I show Sirius the excerpt of the Daily Prophet, and hesitantly hand him the letter so he can know Mum and Dad's thoughts, though, selfishly I want to keep the letter to myself, keep those words for myself, treasure them. But that's silly. So I hand him the letter.
I must admit, Mum warning me that her and Dad may not make it out of this war alive tugged at my heart strings and made me feel sick.
Deep down I'm just a boy who needs his parents. I can't lose them. No. I won't lose them.
"I think Rita Skeeter is getting on her high horse far too early, she's not been writing for the Prophet for long and she's already offering her opinion. However, I hate to admit it, she is right. The Ministry won't have anything good enough to shove this under the rug with, they'll have to face it. Effie's right too, we should utilise Hogwarts, it's probably the safest place the Order has. Dumbledore can't hide the war for long" Sirius states
I sigh "I know. It just all seems so real so fast" I reply
"Doesn't it just" Sirius agree
"What's real?" Asks Remus as he takes a seat next to Sirius. "Took you long enough to get up and our of bed" Sirius chastises as he hands Remus the excerpt and hands the letter back to me. I fold it neatly and put it in the inside pocket of my robes.
"Well shit" Remus comments
"Ever so elegant, Moony" Peter says as he sits next to me "No Lily today?" Asks Peter
"She's sat with Mary and Marlene" I reply and Peter nods
"What are we shitting for?" Asks Peter
"Ever so elegant, Wormy" Remus states, mocking Peter as he hands him the excerpt of the Daily Prophet. Peter blanches as he reads it and places it down on the table.
"It's really happening" Peter says, almost helplessly, we all nod in agreement.
First period is Transfiguration with Professor McGonnogall which is always pleasant.
I take a seat next to Sirius and we sit quietly waiting for McGonnogall to begin.
"Today we will be learning how to transfigure Sardines into match boxes" Professor McGonnogall begins, but before she can continue, a dark haired Gryffindor girl shoots her hand up "Professor" she says softly
"Yes, Eloise?" Asks Professor McGonnogall, a hint of confusion in her tone, no one ever interrupts this early into the lesson.
"I was wondering if you could tell us a bit more about the article in the daily prophet this morning, about what happened in Dartmouth?" Asks Eloise quietly, I don't think she's very used to speaking in lessons. Professor McGonnogall purses her lips and sighs.
"I was wondering how long I could go without being asked that" Professor McGonnogall confesses "I'm not entirely sure what you expect from me. It obviously isn't good news. I believe Professor Dumbledore will be making a speech at dinner, I have reason to believe he will mention the attack in Dartmouth" Professor McGonnogall continues.
"Where is Dartmouth?" A blonde boy at the back pipes up
"It's in Devon, opposite end of the country from where we are now" Professor McGonnogall explains
"Why would he attack some random town in Devon?" Asks the same boy
"Well it's quite densely populated with Wizards, but it's also a tourist destination for people across the UK and elsewhere, it's quite the place to make a statement. Of course, there are bolder places to make such statements, like Hogsmeade, or Kent, but I suppose this Dark Wizard wanted to start small in case things back fired" Professor McGonnogall replies
"Does this mean we're going to be in a war?" Asks Eloise, sounding scared
"That's not something I can answer, I'm afraid. Now, you'll have to wait until Professor Dumbledore makes his announcement at dinner to learn more, for now we must learn how to transfigure Sardines into match boxes, it may very well be on your end of year exams" Professor McGonnogall states firmly, ending the discussion of the Daily Prophet headline that has caught everyone's attention this morning.
Later on I find Lily so we can walk down to dinner together.
"James, did you see the headline?" Asks Lily
"I did" I reply
"Awful. Just awful" Lily states and then she sighs "I'm going to join the Order of the Phoenix" Lily adds
"What about what your parents say?" I ask
"To hell with them, I don't have to please Vernon, he's not my boyfriend...you are" she replies, poking my nose at the last part of her sentence which makes me smile.
"You're right, you're a big girl, you should be able to make your own decisions" I decide and she smiles "See! You get it!" She exclaims and we both laugh.
We sit down with Remus, Sirius and Peter and wait for Dumbledore to make his speech. Dumbledore stands at the lectern and the room falls silent. I'm always fascinated by how Dumbledore is able to command silence simply with his presence.
"Students, it has come to my attention that majority, if not all of you, have seen the Daily Prophet report about the attack on Dartmouth last night. It was a most unfortunate event, and it now means that you have every right to know the true situation. There was once a boy here at Hogwarts many years ago now, his name, Tom Riddle. He no longer goes by that name now, Tom went down a dark path, the darkest one to go down, and he is now known as Lord Voldemort. I must ask that you use the name with caution, I have no doubt he will be using his name to his advantage. This Dark Wizard wishes to wage a war within the wizarding world. It is in his best interest to rid the wizarding world of Muggle-Born wizards. This is evidently an absurd notion, and thus I took it upon myself to begin a resistance called The Order of the Phoenix, we will be working together to create a strong resistance able to fight this war. If you are over the age of fifteen, you are welcome to join, in fact, I encourage it, but I respect that you are all your own individuals, and you are entitled to your own beliefs, I cannot force anyone to do anything. I must ask that you all act with caution, dark times are ahead of us and you must be prepared. However, the only thing you need to do now is enjoy your dinner!" Dumbledore announces. This causes a concoction of conversations. People seem scared, outraged, intrigued. The prospect of war causes so many emotions.
As for me? I feel sick to my stomach. I take a swig of my pumpkin juice to see if that helps, but it tastes like battery acid in my mouth. I grimace. Food appears on the plates in front of us and I fill my plate. I can feel my heart palpitating as I scoop mashed potato on my plate. I have a mouthful of food to try and rid the after taste of the pumpkin juice, but my food tastes like ash in my mouth.
I set down my cutlery. I feel...distant. The conversations in the Great Hall seem to merge into one and become senseless noise. The noise soon turns to ringing in my ears and my vision starts to blur around the edges.
We're going to go to war.
We're going to fight in a war.
My parents are going to fight in a war.
I could lose my parents.
I could lose my friends.
I could lose my girlfriend.
My breathing quickens and I clutch my chest. My chest aches.
I need to get out of here.
The Great Hall suddenly feels suffocating
I need to get out of here
I feel like the Great Hall is closing in on me, like I have no space, like I can't breathe.
I need to get out of here
I stumble off of the bench and rush out of the Great Hall. I'm not equipped for this. How am I supposed to fight in a war if I'm in bits over the prospect of it?
I walk into the hallway and slide down onto the floor and start breathing techniques to calm myself down.
"James?" I think it's Lily.
She sits down next to me and waits until I'm able to coherently respond. "Hey, Lils" I say breathlessly
"You alright? We tried to ask what was wrong before you left but I don't think you heard us" Lily asks
"I'm sorry, I was just...I panicked" I reply, staring down at the floor.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks as I rest my head on her shoulder and she begins to run her fingers through my hair.
I could fall asleep right here like this.
"All this talk of the war it just sets me off" I admit and then I sigh "Lily, how am I supposed to fight this war if I can't even handle the thought of it?" I ask
"I would be more worried if you weren't scared of the prospect of the war. The way you're feeling is completely normal. War is fucking terrifying, I know I'm scared out of my mind, I barely sleep because of it, the only time I get real sleep is when I stay with you. I promise you, everyone in that room is terrified with the prospect of war, we all just have different ways of showing it. You being scared does not mean you're weak, James. In fact, you are one of the bravest people I know. There's a reason you were put in Gryffindor, you know that, sometimes you just need to take a step back and look at it rationally. And if you can't do that right now then I can do it for the both of us. You're not alone here, James, you'll never be alone, I promise you" Lily explains, holding my face in her hands.
"I don't think I have ever been more in love with you than I am now" I state "Thank you, Lils, I needed to hear that" I add softly. She smiles at me and I return her smile.
I then lean my face up so it's closer to hers and I kiss her.

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Hello there my lovelies!

I am so excited for what's to come. I have PLANS for the war. Also the fact that this fic is already on 47 chapters is WILD??? hello?? The fact that I'm writing a Jegulus fanfiction at the age of 20 is giving unemployed (I am in fact not unemployed I acc have three jobs but that's by the by) anyway I'm enjoying writing this fic a bit too much tbh and I'm so so excited (I really shouldn't be I have lots of angst planned you guys aren't even READY). OMG ALSO I'm currently reading crimson rivers so I'm firmly in my Jegulus era which is such a slay. Thank you so much for all the love on this fic I literally adore you all. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this one! I'll catch you in the next one! Until then, have a fantastic day!

Stay Wonderful!

All my everlasting love,
Blue <3