To Be Yours (JENLISA☑️)

XLII

~~~

"Lis?" Chaeyoung sits before her and brings her out of her deepest thoughts. She looks up at the blonde girl, tilting her head a bit for her to continue. "You okay?"

"Yup."

"You don't look like fine though..."

"I'm alive." Lisa assures her with a scoff. "Can we just have a tea without talking about deep shit? I haven't slept well."

"Yeah, of course! Is Matcha tea okay to you? I'm going to order."

"Yeah, anything is fine." She sighs and again goes back to thinking what she had on mind. Why did she even agree on going to this café with Chaeyoung? Maybe she was tired of overthinking everything in her house while Jennie kept her spamming her inbox and social apps.

"Okay, I'll be right back, Lizzie."

"Don't rush." Lisa whispers and drops her head on the table, sighing as she watches her tall friend goes to get their orders for them. Honestly, she doesn't care whatever Chaeyoung will bring for her. All she wanted to do when she agreed to hang out, was to get away from her phone.

She looks around, watching other people living their lives. Why can't she just simply do that? She's not the first heartbroken girl, nor will be the last, but here she is, not able to move on even one step from her ex-girlfriend.

Jennie has her wrapped around her pinky, and Lisa is well aware that it's all what she's done to herself. The unconditional trust without even knowing the girl has brought her to this point where she can't even take a break from her.

Jennie is practically everywhere, and since last weekend, she hasn't stopped texting and calling, saying she's done giving Lisa space. Weird thing about it is... Lisa doesn't even know how to think of it. She hates it that part of her body is actually feeling good at the thought of Jennie still caring for her. It honestly sucks.

She watches people around her, at one table, quite far from them, there's a couple. Well, she wouldn't know if they're actually a couple or just two people chatting, but to her eyes, they look intimate. Lisa observes them a little, the man cuts the piece of cake in front of him before pushing the plate towards the woman. She smiles sweetly and takes first bite for herself, wiggling with joy and then giving him also a bite.

It makes Lisa's mouth sour. Don't get her wrong, she's not mad at them. She's mad that they had been like them not so long ago, and none of them knew how soon they were going to end.

Or maybe... Jennie knew?

Without knowing, she keeps watching them until Chaeyoung makes her presence known again.

"Hey! Lalisa, just tell me what's going on!"

Without getting her head off the table, Lisa rubs her eyes, already feeling the exhaustion creeping up to her.

"You remember I went to that PSY party?" Her tone gives away nothing to describe how she feels.

"Yeah?"

"I fucked up."

"What do you mean fucked up?" Chaeyoung asks cautiously, tilting her head a bit to see Lisa's face more clearly.

"I kissed Kai."

"What?!!!" Her loud shriek gathers attention from around them, makes Chaeyoung's cheek a little red as she realizes she shouldn't be making loud voices in public. She places her arms on the table and rests her chin on them, leveling herself with Lisa. "Lisa, what did you-..."

"And had sex with Jennie."

"Oh my god! Lisa! She's engaged and-..."

"I was drunk, and she... she just appeared at my door. I don't know what I was thinking." Lisa tries to keep her eyes from shedding tears, but she can't, knowing she has fucked up way too bad for her to just let it pass. The fact that Jennie had actually made her listen to her the day after also isn't much help to her. "Chaeng, I... I'm really fucked up."