Petals of Chaos

I loved her, I needed her, I longed for her but it wasn't good enough. Nothing I ever did was ever good enough! She betrayed me and defied me and yet despite all of it I still wanted her. With every fiber of my being, I still wanted her. I mean we were together for almost 2 years and we went threw a lot in that time both good and bad. I gave her the world and she meant the world to me. She would always claim I was jealous of her guy friends but could she or anyone blame me? I mean she was always hanging around them and no matter how many times I tried to tell her I knew they would make advancements toward her she just told me I was paranoid and jealous. It wasn't true, it was just a misunderstanding. The first time I saw her with another guy and got jealous was when we attended a ball. Yeah I know a man's man like me attending a ball it seems silly but that's what I did for her. I attended events I would normally attend, balls, flower festivals, bake sales oh my god you name it. I did it because I was in love because I cared so much but like I said it wasn't good enough, IT WASN'T EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER! Anyway..back to the first time I got jealous. We had just finished dancing and we went to sit down at our table. Well as the next song came on and we were talking one of her friends Lawrence came up and asked her to dance. Now I did not immediately see him as a threat in fact I knew Lawrence and he seemed like a good guy but that changed in a flash. They took to the dance floor and he put his hands on her and then it happened.

His hands went lower and lower and she seemed to be really enjoying it so I snapped. I stormed onto the dance floor I pulled him off her and punched him right in the face, the bastard deserved it and you don't disrespect me like that and you don't grope my woman in front of me. Needless to say, we were asked to leave or at least I was asked to leave and she yelled at me saying she was so embarrassed. Her embarrassed? She was the one getting felt up and I was sitting down, everyone knew she was with me yet she let him feel her up. Then there were times were she flirted with a guy at the art show, the antique store, and the time I almost ran a guy over at the airport parking lot for looking at her but he had it coming. When we got into an argument it always got bad. Now I never hit her, that was never the issue but we would throw things at each other and then after a few hours we would both cool off, her with a cold shower and me with a walk but the matter was settled. Then of course was the make-up sex which was always amazing, such control such forcefulness ah the pleasures it was. But that all came crumbling down in one night. I forgave all the innocent flirtatious incidents she made and she forgave me for all the angry malicious outbursts and reactions but this time it was just too unforgivable. We went for a night out on the town just me and my beloved Isabella, yes that's her name, sorry for the late introduction. We went to see a movie she decided to pick out which I let her of course because I am that kind of man after all.

The movie was alright, one of the sappy love shows. Well anyway, we decided to stop by Gardinelli's Italian Eatery before heading home. She sees another guy she hasn't seen in years, a guy by the name of Rafael. Now I'd never met or heard of the guy but I felt as though I'd met him before, maybe he had one of those faces I couldn't place but yeah I didn't ever recall Isabella mentioning him. So we sit down and eat and when she spots him she's dying to go over there and say something. He was with two other guys probably having a meeting, either that or he was having a menage e trois I don't know, who am I to judge? Well, she went over and they talked for a few, exchanged smiles and then she came back over so I didn't need to get mad. I asked her what they had talked about and she said he was in a meeting and was hoping they could catch up over coffee later in the week. As the waiter brought our dinner I kept asking her questions about him, where she knew him from, and where and when they had met. She told me from her days in college and then she realized what I was doing and told me not to start. I said I wasn't doing anything and then she accused me of being snoopy and untrusting. I raised my voice and told her she was wrong and people started looking at us. She told me not to make a scene and I agreed and continued eating my food, telling her we would discuss this later. Well, we talked later alright, got into another fight. I threw two lamps, bashed a wall, and ripped the phone off the wall. The old man next door threatened to call the cops but shut up after I told him I'd come over there and kick his ass. That shut the old geezer up. Anyway, this fight seemed like it was getting worse than normal so I said I would stay at a hotel.

The next day I decided to go home. I didn't receive any message from Isabella but regardless I felt it would be okay to go home. When I got home I shuffled with my keys and when I found the right one I jingled with the lock and got it open. I heard noises in the next room and went to see what it was. Isabella was in our bed with Rafael, clearly she called him after our fight. As I took one look at them I lost it. Isabella looked up and got out and tried to explain but I would have none of it. Rafael tried to assure me he didn't mean to come in between us but I didn't care what he had to say. I imagined tossing him out the window compared to what I would actually do to him, it seemed less of a horrific way to go. As I snapped back to reality I told Isabella to get dressed and grabbed her arm. Rafael saw this and tried stopping me LIKE HE COULD DO ANYTHING TO ME!! I pushed him back and with the snap of my fingers, I lit the sucker on fire. He was nothing more than a pile of ashes within minutes. Isabella screamed at me calling me a bastard and stormed off. I assumed she was going to take a cold shower and with that, I went for a walk. I know she just cheated and this was far beyond any argument we had previously but I figured taking the usual steps would make me feel less angry and pissed off and I was sure we could work it out. When I got home I noticed the bathroom door was still closed. Funny, usually she was out by the time I got home. I knocked on the door and said I was home but heard nothing. I then saw water coming from out the doorway.

Seeing this I reached for the door knob and opened up the door. I saw Isabella in the bathtub. The water was to the top over flowing red. I ran to her and pulled her out of the tub. She had slit her wrists and bled out. I held her lifeless naked body in my arms and started to cry. After about two minutes my sadness turned to grief. I dried off Isabella's body and covered her with a towel and laid her out on the couch. I went into the bedroom and went on her side and took the rose that stood on her dresser. I went back to her and one by one I ripped the petals off the rose and dropped them onto her body. She didn't deserve this but I knew it was all that was left to be done. My sadness and grief turned to extreme anger. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME!!!?? We were supposed to be together, supposed to grow old together but NOOO! She wronged me and betrayed me by not only adultery but by taking her own life. This was MY chance! This was my second chance at a life at a chance for redemption for all those years I was exiled. I am the devil and Isabella was my muse, my second chance at a better life and now it's gone. Now it's all gone.