Locked Out

Go figure

Buck's point of view

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I've been back at work for about three months almost but Bobby and the others made it very clear that I am not welcomed back, I mean why would he want me back I was an ass. So I'll just keep my head down and work which is what I came here to do right, so that's all I need. "Buckley get your ass in here now!" I hear Bobby yell out as I feel a knife to the gut as I walk over to him.

"Yes cap?" I say with my head looking down at the ground preparing myself for what ever he's about to throw my way, all I knew is it wasn't going to be good. "Have you done the chores and checked the stocks on the rigs." He speaks out in a sharp tone, not a tone he uses with the rest of the team, but I don't have the energy to care anymore. "Yes I did Captain Nash." I was told to call him by that the day I came back, I don't know if it's because he wants the pleasure of power or he just doesn't want me to say his name. "Good mop the floors till we get a call." I just simply give a slight nod knowing not to protest as that just ends up with me being a man behind.

We don't talk, well the team talks just not to me it's like I'm still on leave or like I'm invisible. I wish it effected me more but my parents made sure that this type of treatment didn't effect me to bad. I mean I only really speak to one person, and that's only when I'm being yelled at or told what to do. Hell my own sister took her boyfriend side so I'm alone but hey, that gives me privacy.

The bell goes off and calls us for a apartment fire, I get geared and I get in the truck and I do what I always do now. I sit in the corner and try to hide as much as possible, sometimes I'm lucky and they just talk about life and sometimes like today I'm not as lucky.

"Nah remember how Buckley would wake up looking for Chirs thinking that he lost your son again." Chimney snickers and laughs as he hits a really sore spot for me, at that moment I know this is going to be a painful ride. "Pfft yeah like your a grown man, I already have to deal with my son having nightmares but then a grown ass man." Eddie says huffing with a slight chuckle, my heart breaks knowing that Chris is having nightmares from the tsunami as well. I make a mental note to just to sleep in the lockers or in the bathroom so they can sleep. "Nah and the fact that grown man wakes up from something like that." Bobby chimes in which shatters my heart the rest of the way as the person I use to see as a father figure joined in on the Bash Buck up by words. It continues for the ten minute drive as I hide further into my seat. 

"Buckley you and Han go in and search for people." Bobby says in a sharp tone then looking away from us when Chimney goes. "Ugh do I have to go with him Bobby." Chimney whines I decide to chime in. "I can go myself, it a low risk and not much smoke." I say with a sigh knowing that they wouldn't care if I died in a fire anyway. Probably wouldn't even notice I was missing until all was left was bones. "Go than Buckley." I run in as soon as he says that I smoothly rescue the last three people when I notice I have a blinding headache but I don't say anything either way because I would just be yelled at. 

Back at the station I take my energy bar and banana and sit in the locker room, as it the only place I can hide without having my food smacked out of my hand to say it's just a joke even though that the only food I brought to work and I'm not allowed at the dinner table anymore I'm not family. I really need to get this headache checked out tomorrow maybe I can see if the only person who will talk to me will go with. Athena is the only reason I stick around, I refuse to tell her about the way things are at the station because it would make everything way worse than it was.

We get off of work I get the usual glare from Hen passing by and the mean comment from Chimney and the hard shove from Eddie but today it managed to make me stumble because of my blinding headache. "Oh look the weak little baby almost fell this time." Eddie snickers pushing me down to the ground that is not helping the painfully bad headache. I decide to not willingly call Athena to drive e home because I can't in this state, it would most likely end up with a crash.  

This is a text.

Hey Athena I really hate to ask but you think you can drive me home?

Athena: Yeah sure why are you ok?

No sure I'll explain more when you get here.

Athena: I'll be there in thirty minutes ok Buckaroo.

Thanks.

Text ends.

"Hey Athena thanks, just don't feel safe to drive." I say with a sigh and not wanting to worry her. "What's going on Buck, you need to go to the hospital?" Athena asks grabbing my chin and checking me over . "I won't lie got pretty bad headache I scheduled a doctor appointment for three hours just need to change then grab an uber." I say grabbing my bag and picking up the things that were shoved out of my locker when Eddie shoved me. "I'll take you Buck shower here I have a old change of your clothes, probably a bit big though have you been eating?" She grabs the back of my neck so I can't look away from her. "Trying to I mostly eat at home, only time it peaceful." I say trying not to give any of the 118 behavior away, because I know that Athena is going to get mad at them and then I'll just be treated worse than before. "Bobby says calls have been pretty easy lately and that he has made some great meals, so what do you mean Buck?" She asks standing straight up.

"it's nothing Athena, I'll be fine I eat enough just easier at home." I says continuing to pick up the shattered glass. "Buck you need to talk to me now." Athena says pulling my sleeves up to show the bruises from the once in awhile abuse Bobby would dish out. "I it's not what you think Athena, it's just that was from Bobby." I see the anger bubbling under her skin as she demands to know what has been going on.

"Ok short story is everyone is mad at me so they are not talking to me, Eddie once and awhile pushes me into the locker hence the broken glass they make joke out of me and it just awful." I says just breaking down into her arms everything I had been feeling the last two months and not being able to stop. "Oh Buck you should have said something." She says drying my tears and holding my chin up. "If you react it's just going to make everything worse." I say trying to calm Athena down. "Lets just go to your appointment."