From Teen To Mom

Chapter 38

As time passed, Levi and I found ourselves spending Valentine's Day together. Though we chose to wait before taking that final step, we enjoyed exploring other forms of intimacy. Despite my fondness for him, I maintained a slight emotional distance. Being a mother and managing work made being a girlfriend difficult. It required more time and energy than I had anticipated. Levi was understanding and patient, allowing me the space I needed to navigate these challenges.

I'm consumed by the pain of missing Greyson and the family we once had together. I hold onto the hope that he'll be out in two years on good behavior, but the fact that he's stuck behind bars instead of being with our son is tearing him apart.

The approaching end of summer brings a wave of uncertainty. Can I handle a relationship, work, and my demanding college classes in the medical field? As much as I really like Levi, I'm unsure if I can keep up with everything. I let out a sigh and reach for my phone, dialing Alex's number.

"Hey, what's up?" Alex answers almost instantly.

"Can you come over?" I ask, my voice filled with desperation.

"Sure, I'm on my way. Are you okay?" His concern is evident.

"Yeah. I just need my best friend," I reassure him, hoping he can provide some comfort.

Within ten minutes, Alex's familiar car pulls into my driveway. I rush out and hug him tightly, fighting back tears that threaten to escape.

"Hey, Mer, talk to me. What's going on?" he asks softly, holding me just as tightly.

"I miss Greyson," the words blurt out, the truth hitting me all at once. The pain overwhelms me.

"That's normal. He's the father of your child. You love him deeply. And he messed up. It's okay to feel like this," he tells me gently, and I pull away to wipe my nose on my sweatshirt.

"What about Levi? He seems to make you happy," Alex says, trying to understand.

"He does, but he's not Greyson. I don't think I'll ever be able to love him, or anyone else, the same way," I confess, fighting back tears once again.

"If you love Greyson that much, maybe waiting for him is the right choice. It wouldn't be fair to you or Levi if you can't give the relationship a real shot," Alex suggests, his words resonating within me.

"You're right," I agree, a sense of clarity washing over me. "Thank you."

We spend the rest of the afternoon playing with Bentley, building towers with colorful blocks, and pretending to be superheroes. The sound of Bentley's contagious laughter fills the room, momentarily pushing away the worries and doubts that have been weighing me down.

As I sit on the floor, Bentley giggles and claps his tiny hands, his eyes filled with pure joy. Alex joins in, tickling him and making silly faces, causing Bentley to erupt into fits of laughter.

"You're such a goof, Alex!" I chuckle.

"Hey, I have to keep up with my reputation as the fun uncle, right?" he grins, tousling Bentley's dark hair.

As the day comes to an end, I tuck Bentley into his crib, his eyes heavy with sleep. Alex and I quietly make our way to the living room, settling down on the couch to watch a movie.

"I can't thank you enough for everything. You've been my rock," I express, my voice filled with gratitude.

He gives me a warm smile. "You don't have to thank me, Mercedes."

"I don't know what I would do without you, Alex."

He squeezes my hand gently. "We'll get through this together, just like we always have. And don't forget, you're stronger than you think."

I lean my head on his shoulder, finding solace in his presence.

The following day, I reach out to Levi and extend an invitation for him to come over. Deep down, I know that this conversation requires a face-to-face interaction, especially after spending the past few months building a connection.

Levi agrees to come, and I find myself waiting anxiously on the front porch steps. After what feels like an eternity, he finally arrives and takes a seat beside me, that adorable boyish smile adorning his face.

"Levi," I let out a heavy sigh. "We need to talk."

With concern replacing his smile, his expression slowly shifts. "I think I have an idea of what you're about to say."

"I'm sorry. I genuinely care about you. I truly believed I was ready to move on and start dating again. But the truth is, I'm still in love with Greyson, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us if we continue like this."

"And you're telling me this now?" His voice carries a hint of irritation.

"I'm sorry. I fought against these feelings, but they refuse to fade away." I take a deep breath, struggling to hold back tears as I witness the hurt in his eyes.

"Sorry? You've been pretending to reciprocate my feelings for months!" He accuses, his voice filled with frustration.

"No, Levi, it's not like that. My emotions for you are genuine."

"If that were true, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You would rather choose a drug dealer over me, but I suppose that's your decision to make if you want that around your child," he retorts, the anger evident in his tone.

"Fuck you, Levi," I snap, my voice rising in anger.

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't. You just led me on, teasing me, while secretly pining for your ex all this time," he responds, his voice matching my elevated tone.

"You don't understand anything about Greyson!" I yell, fiercely defending the father of my child and reminiscing about the beautiful moments we had shared.

"Apparently, I don't know anything about you either. Goodbye, Mercedes," he says, getting into his car and driving away.

Overwhelmed with emotions, I retreat to my room, allowing myself to cry, questioning whether I made the right decision. Tomorrow, I will visit Greyson and seek some clarity.