Black Strawberry

So I've been single for a while now. It's by choice, definitely. Don't get it twisted, I have a patent on the word fine. It's just that. . .okay, if I tell you this you have to keep it a secret, alright? Not a lot of people know this, but I guess I can tell you. Here goes. . .I'm one hundred percent gay.

Surprised? What the hell do you mean you're not surprised? Bitch you better act like you're surprised! Never mind, we'll deal with that later. What's important right now is that I'm single because I'm gay and up until about three months ago, I was pretty sure that I was about as straight as anyone could get. I thought that I just kept picking the wrong girls, but the actual problem was that I was picking girls. You see, I thought I liked girls because I fucking love boobs. I mean, come on, everyone loves boobs right? In the immortal words of my best friend, Harribel, "Tits are awesome!"

I'm so off subject now.

I bet you're wondering what exactly made me realize that I was so deep in the closet I was finding next year's Christmas presents. It was a bit of shock, a little awe, and a whole lot of arousal. Let me spin you a little tale.

I was in a small coffee shop that's a few blocks away from my dorm. I'd been there for approximately forty-five minutes waiting for a girl who was supposed to be there half an hour beforehand. You see, when I set a date with someone, giving a specific time at which I planned to arrive for said date, I always showed up a bit earlier than the planned time. My dad was a football coach, so I grew up with the understanding that you're on time if you're five minutes early and you're late if you're on time. Also girls have this nasty habit of thinking you're blowing them off if, God or some other deity that may or may not exist forbid, you show up three minutes late. To avoid such nonsense, I showed up fifteen minutes early. Needless to say I was more than a little pissed when my date still hadn't shown up.

So I was just sitting there bored out of my fucking mind and pondering the secrets of life when the bell on the door tinkered causing me to reflexively glance up in that direction. That's when I saw him; he was gorgeous. You see, I've never had any qualms with appreciating the beauty of another male. If a dude was looking good, I'd more than likely nod my approval. But I'd never in my nineteen years seen a guy that was this. . .pretty.

He was tall, about the same height as me with this outlandish pink hair. His eyes were a beautiful shade of gold, and stylish glasses sat atop his straight nose. His smile was sly and dangerous, and I knew I was in trouble when he looked at me and licked his lips almost seductively. Before I could take time to analyze what was happening, he was making his way towards me, his slender hips swaying in an enticing manner. Once he was in front of my table, he leaned on it resting one hand on his hip and using the other to balance himself.

"I don't know about you, stud, but mine's au naturale. Tell me about yours. The carpet match the drapes?" he asked, his voice a low purr, sending a strange sensation through my nervous system.

"Uh, no," I responded.

You see, I'm what they like to call "scenemo" or whatever the fuck that means. I like dying my hair, even though it's naturally sky blue. The color pisses me off sometimes, that's why most of the time I keep it dyed black.

"Oh really now? Well, I'd like to see that carpet sometime, cutie." He crossed to where I was sitting and ran his hand through my hair like he'd been knowing me for years. I was mildly horrified when my eyes rolled closed and I felt stirring in my pants. None of this was consensual. Pinky laughed and pulled a pen out of his back pocket. He scribbled his number and his name, Szayelaporro, onto a napkin and winked at me before leaving.

Well, needless to say, I called him. We went on a few dates, but it wasn't anything serious. Plus, the whole making me question my sexuality bit kind of threw me off. I wasn't ready to accept the fact that I was dating a guy. Also, he seemed a little too eager to have sex with me. Seriously, the dude begged to suck my dick. Begged. We never made it past that.