august, conrad fisher

one

when laurel told me they would leave at two, with or without me, i thought she was joking. when i came home five minutes after two i knew she wasn't.
i had my drivers test last month and passed. i got my granny's old car as an early birthday present, so i guess this year i would be driving on my own.

in situations like these i hate laurel. not her but her actions. and don't get me wrong she for sure is a lovely woman. when my own parents abandoned me, she cared for me and let me live with them. and even though she's my aunt and steven and belly are my cousins it felt good to have a family.

   ✩★✩

when i pulled into the driveway from the summer house i could already see that the others were greating each other.
i parked right next to laurels car, turned the music off and went out to say hi too.

i got off the car and the smell of salt air but also rust on my car door hit me. i would say Cousins was more home then home was. living starts when we're here.

"i can't believe you passed!" jeremiah said laughing when he hugged me tightly.
"believe it or not but I'm an excellent driver" i also laughed cause it was just so funny.
when we were younger jeremiah always thought i'd be the last one to pass.

"oh we believe you" susannah said when she hugged me.
she gave me a kiss on the head and whispered into my hair.
"I'm so happy to see you again, my sweet little girl"
susannah is the definition of safe place. she's been my rock since i can remember. when i was sad she made me cookies and and talked with me for hours. when the boys excluded belly and me from their adventures she would take us to the mall and made us think that this was way more fun. i don't know what i would do without her.

"you've grown haven't you?" she asked me holding me by my shoulders away from her to check me out.
i haven't grown since last summer. in fact i haven't grown since i was twelve which was five years ago. and i never was tall. and susannah knew that. but she also knew that hearing that i'm taller made me proud.
"mom she obviously hasn't. but maybe you're shrinking" jeremiah noticed smirking.
she then gave him a light hit on the arm and laughed.

in that moment conrad came around the corner. he first welcomed belly then steven and laurel. conrad and i've never been close. our relation was more teasing and provocative so i didn't expect him to hug me like he did with the others.
and i was right, he didn't.
"guys i think it's time for a-" jeremiah started and finished his sentence together with steven.
"BELLYFLOP"

jere carried her by her shoulders and steven by her legs as they ran into the backyard to the pool.
conrad and i trailed a little behind them. then he talked to me as quiet as he could.
"so you're a blondie now?"
"i always was you just didn't notice" i snapped back.
"it was darker before"
i could tell that he was amused.
"i think it's time to change the tradition" conrad spoke up.

he then grabbed my waist and threw me into the pool right next to belly, who also was laughing while she sat herself on the edge.
for the first time this year i felt alive. i could feel the sun on my skin, smell the salt air and got my clothes sticking on me as my white top got see through.

"c'mon at least help me out" i said reaching my hand out of the water.
when Conrad reached for it i pulled him in with me, causing jere and steven to laugh really hard.
we got out off the pool while the others were already on their way to the house. when Conrad turned around to hand me a towel, he opened his mouth to say something but didn't.
it took me a moment to realize why but then i knew.
"oh c'mon conrad it's a bra. but you should call victoria and tell her that her secret is out"
without saying anything he went straight into the house.

    ✩★✩

when susannah was loading all our plates at the dinner table, steven was still on the phone which got him some pissed looks from laurel.
"steven, i swear to god, if you look at that phone one more time, i'm putting it in the screen basket." laurel said then with tension.
"it's just, we want to see your beautiful faces. so can dinner be a screen-free zone? you know, like the olden days."
susannah had a way of saying things that makes me wanna believe them.
before steven could react jeremiah grabbed his phone and threw it into on the couch.
"man we get it, you've been working out" steven said annoyed.
"you're just jealous because he has a better body than you"
belly never said these things.
"uh no, it's about the look. you can't wear tailord suits otherwise."
and we all knew it wasn't true.
"sure, sure"

to change the topic steven asked now conrad.
"when are you leaving for training camp, man?"
"uh, he quit football" susannah said hesitatingly.
"man i'd kill to play college football"
"well, he can always change his mind"
"i'm not gonna change my mind" conrad said.
"well you can work with steven and me at the club. he's at the snack bar and i'm lifeguarding" jeremiah suggested.

"oh before i forget" susannah said getting up, then giving belly and me an invitation.
"i got you two into a debutant invitation"
she was smiling from one ear to another.
"that's lane's first invitation in months. she stopped receiving invitation when she and went through breakup" steven said and i shot a look at him.

"you had a boyfriend?" jeremiah asked confused. and also conrad's attention was fully on me.
"nothing serious" i shut it down fast.

"is that the thing where the girls wear white dresses and curtsy?" belly asked confused as she inspected her paper.
"it's when a girl comes of age and is presented to society. i-i know it sounds silly, but i swear it's fun. girls come from all over new england to cousins just to be a part of it. you'll make so many new friends." susannah said trying her best to convince us.
"i cannot believe you're still holding on to this archaic dream" laurel said.
"no, it used to be about finding a husband, but now it's about networking. they teach you leadership skills, like how to market yourself, and it benefits charity. it's, um, like a bat mitzvah"
"it is not like a bat mitzvah. there is nothing religious about a debutante ball." laurel said again.

"the deb scene is bullshit. tt's for sheep"
i didn't though conrad would have such strong opinion on it.
"no, it's not. it's when a girl has a coming out, it's a formal recognition she's reached maturity."
"sorry mature?" steven was now back in the conversation.
"yes"
"my sister belly? a couple of months ago you held a cat funeral"
"shut up steven. i saw you crying in your room" j snapped back at him.
"no way mochi died? i'm so sorry bells"
"i'll think about it" i said turning to susannah which was enough to satisfy her.
"yeah me too" belly said.

✩★✩

it was already dark for over an hour when i changed into my bikini to go for a late night swim.
at the pool i saw that conrad was sitting on the edge but decided to not let him ruin my summer.
but i could not held myself from saying something.

"i thought you said smoking pot changes the way your brain processes information." i said swimming closer to him.
"so does your cell phone"
"you said marijuana messes with white matter"
"do you even know what that is?" he chuckled a little.
"you said that our brains are still developing and-"
"god, do you mesmerize everything i say?"

"either way i think that you should quit"
"and what'll you give me for that?" a smirk appeared on his face.
i put my hands next to where his legs are at and pull me up so my face is only a few centimeters away from his.
i then whispered into his ear.
"hm i don't know. what do you want?"
i pulled away and could see that this wasn't what he expected.

but before i could let myself back into the water, he cupped my cheeks and kissed me. i was so suprised by his actions that i let go of the edge and fell back into the water with him.

when we came back to the surface steven and jeremiah came out trying to talk us into the bonfire.
i declined but conrad went with them.
later that night i got a phone call from jeremiah asking me if i could pick them up. something about the cops and belly being there.

i swiftly snuck out the house and made my way to the beach.
when i arrived i saw them all but steven.
"thank god you're here lane" jeremiah said leaning through my window.
they opened the passenger door and placed conrad there who seemed pretty wasted.
"thanks lane, but cam is taking me home" belly said to me.
"no he isn't. nothing personal you seem nice cam, but laurel would kill me. does she even know that you are here?"
without anymore saying belly said goodbye to cam.

"one second then we can go, let us find steven" jeremiah said and with that is was only conrad and me left.
i could feel his eyes on me but tried not look for him. then i felt his hand playing with my hair so i looked.
"i like your hair. it's so soft" and you could tell that he was wasted.
"you don't know what you're talking about"
i pulled his hand out off my hair and placed it back onto his lap.
in that exact moment a police officer knocked at my window.
"have you kids been drinking?"