Don't, you were NEVER supposed to touch.

Chapter 3

Nick got up, putting his clothes back on. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't want to do anything. I squeezed my eyes shut, as tears ran down my face. I was so embarrassed. I was naked, and they could all see me. All of me. I quickly sat up and pulled my pants back on, avoiding the gazes of all three boys. I grabbed my jacket off the chair I'd left it on, and walked up the stairs.

"Tessie! Wait!" I heard Joshy's voice yell to me, as he ran up the stairs, catching my wrist.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" I screamed at him, pulling my hand out of his grasp. I began walking faster, leaving the house, but Joshy pursued.

"Tessie... Tessie.. they...I.. please stop-" Joshy pleaded.

And I did stop. I turned around and looked Joshy right in the eyes. "You knew didn't you? That's why you were acting so awkward today." I stated.

Joshy's eyes filled with tears as he nodded.

"NO! Don't you cry! I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS JUST RAPED. And all you did was stand there and WATCH. Just fuck off okay? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE." I screamed, as I turned and ran the rest of the way home.

When I got to my house, I went immediately upstairs, avoiding my parents and my sibling's. I wanted to tell them, but I was too embarrassed. I know it sounds cliche, but I was scared of their reactions. I didn't want them to be angry. I didn't want them to treat me differently. So I quietly changed into my pajama's and slept. It was only 5:30, but I slept and slept. By the time I woke up it was noon the next day.

"OH MY GOODNESS!" 

I stirred, opening my eyes. My mom stood in my doorway, surveying the mess that is my room, with an alarmed look on her face.

"Someone broke in and ransacked your room!! Tessie, are you okay??" My mom said sarcastically.

I rolled over and shoved my face into my pillow. "Go away." I mumbled, muffled by the pillow.

My mom came and lay down beside me. "Get up. And clean this room." She whispered in my ear. She hit me with a pillow then got up and left, but just before she shut the door she peeked back in and added, "Oh yeah, and AJ's here."

I sat up, too quickly. Head rush. "What?!"

My mom just rolled her eyes and shut the door. Parents are such fun.

I stood up and immediately felt the soreness. I almost burst into tears, but instead, I picked up a pair of decently clean jeans and a t-shirt that smelled okay, then stomped out of my room to the shower. When I got back to my room, AJ was sitting on my bed.

I stared at him for a good minute. Tears welled up in my eyes. AJ, one of my best friends in the entire world. How many times had he been sitting on my bed like he was now? How many times were all three of the boys lounging around my room?

But things were different now. Finding my voice I choked out, "What are you doing here?"

AJ chewed his lip. "Tessie... I know there's nothing I can say to make this right but--"

"No! No buts! You're right! There isn't anything you can say! You and Nick can take your words and shove them up your ass. And Joshy too."

"...Tess... are you.. going to tell someone?" AJ asked.

Oh, now I get it. That's why he's here. To see if he can save his ass.

"Yes." I said, even though I wasn't really sure. "In fact, I've already told someone." I lied.

"What?!" AJ gasped. "I mean... good. Good for you. I'm sorry Tessie. I really am... I gave in. Nick wanted to and I told him no a million times... but... yesterday... I just... I'm not saying this isn't my fault. I'm just saying... I'm sorry. So sorry. And you don't deserve to have to keep it a secret."

AJ stared at his shoes. He was such a good guy. Always such a good guy. How could I do this to him?

"Why did Nick..how long... I thought you were my friends.." I said before bursting into tears and collapsing on my bed beside AJ. He tentatively put his hand over mine in a comforting way, and despite everything that had happened, I let him. I leaned against him and he put his arms around me while I cried.

"I didn't actually tell anyone." I said, as I sat up, wiping my eyes.

AJ didn't say anything for awhile. "Nick doesn't want you too. And neither does Joshy. He kind of freaked out yesterday when he got back inside."

"Yeah?" I said, still angry at Joshy for not doing anything.

"Yeah."

"What did he do?"

"He... well he punched Nick. Or he tried to. Nick ducked him and pinned him against a wall. Told him to shut up, because he was guilty too." AJ replied. "I don't know what happened to Nick. He's been.. weird. Have you noticed that?"

"No, I didn't. Him raping me didn't seem weird at all." I replied sarcastically.

AJ chewed his lip again. "Do you think something happened to him?"

"AJ... I really don't care. At all."

"Yeah. Right. Sorry." AJ said. "I should... go. I think."

"You really never should have come." I said. "Both times." I added, almost smiling at my little joke.

AJ looked hurt, but considering, I honestly didn't care.

"'Bye Tessie."

I just looked at him, and then the door. He apparently got the point, because he left without another word.

"AJ didn't look so good." My mom said from my door, startling me. "Did you guys have a fight?"

"Sort of" I muttered, as I went around the room, picking up some clothes and throwing them into my laundry basket.

"Tessie, baby, come here." My mom said sympathetically.

"I'm fine." I said.

"Come here and let me see your face if you're fine." My mom demanded.

I grudgingly walk over to her. She put her hand on my chin and forced my face upwards. Just like Nick had last night. I pulled away from my mom's grip.

"Child, you've been crying. What happened between you too? Are you getting close to your period?" My mom asked.

"No. Mom, I'm fine. Can I go out?"

"Where?"

"I don't know. I'll stay in the neighbourhood" I lied. I had a place in my head that I already wanted to go. The teen clinic downtown.

My mom sighed. "Fine. But this room had to be clean as soap before you go."

"Okay. Thanks."

I finished cleaning my room quickly before pulling my laptop out from under my bed. I rarely used it, due to the fact I was almost always outside, or at one of the boys houses. I found out how to get to the clinic, then grabbing my jacket off the back of my door, left.