StarChaser// Jegulus||✔️

Regulus

What have I just done?
What have we just done?
Why did I do that?
Why did we do that?
What were we thinking?
No, that's the problem, we weren't thinking, not at all.
James Potter just gave me head.
In the trophy room.
In detention.
I'm still processing it
I don't regret it.
I lay with him, each of us tangled in one another. "What did we just do?" Asks James
"Do you actually want an explanation? Because I was under the impression you knew what we were doing" I reply sarcastically
"You know what I mean"
"Do I?"
"Why are you being difficult?"
"Why am I being difficult? One minute you hate me the next you can't keep your hands off of me, what do you want from me?"
"I don't know" I can barely hear the words, he mumbles them so quietly
"Am I just a pastime?"
"What?"
"I'm not an idiot, James, I see how you look at her"
"Who?"
"Lily"
He runs his hand through his hair, stressed at what he's faced with. For a moment I catch myself entranced in the way his hair falls back down his forehead so perfectly, the way his curls look, messy yet nice. Messy suits him.
"I'm sorry"
"What for?"
"I don't know what I'm doing"
"It's fine, James, just...get dressed"
James looks a bit bewildered, I think he thinks he's messed things up, whatever things are. I don't know how I feel but I don't want to mull it over for too long lest I actually feel something.
"Let's just go" I say
"But the trophies?" James replies
I flick my wand and the trophies begin to fall back into place in the trophy cabinet, each one shinier and cleaner than before
"Now we can go"
"and do what?"
"Look, until you know what you want you can't be messing with me like this so just stay away from me incase you can't control yourself"
I walk away before James can say anything, but not before I catch the look of hurt on his face at my words.
The next day is the quidditch match; Slytherin versus Gryffindor.
I'm the seeker for the Slytherin team and James is chaser for Gryffindor, something tells me this match could be somewhat interesting.
I can feel James' eyes burning into me as I change into my quidditch robes. Nothing he hasn't seen before I guess but his unwavering gaze makes me somewhat nervous.
I decide to actively ignore the hole he's burning into my back and carry on as though I don't notice, that's probably my best course of action right now.
The game begins and it's off to a good start considering it's a clear day with a smooth breeze and fairly dispersed clouds, a perfect day for flying, a perfect day for quidditch.
I take a few brief seconds to appreciate the breeze running through me and the rush I feel from flying. It's so freeing being able to do this. The cheers from the crowds seem so distant as I focus on the way the wind makes me feel, the way the rush of being aloft runs through my veins. I love every moment.
After my few seconds of appreciation I really get my head into the game. I focus on the pitch, the layout of the players and what I'm working with. I see the Gryffindor seeker, who seems to be searching for the snitch, but to no avail.
I catch a glimpse of a wisp of gold and know that I've found my target. The snitch darts over my head so I swiftly turn my broom 180° to ensure I follow the snitch's every move.
It zig zags across the pitch until it flitters and hovers near a certain Gryffindor chaser. Just what I need. I push whatever I'm feeling away and focus solely on the snitch. I fly towards James, he seems utterly confused, he gives me a look before looking around him and realising that I'm not actually going for him but in fact the snitch flying next to him.
I'm a mere few inches away before the snitch circles James and flies off to the left, but I follow its path. I will win this game, no matter what, I need to feel some sort of victory over Gryffindor, to prove something to James. I don't know what I'm proving to him but hopefully some sort of message is there.
Slytherin is up 10 points, the current score is 20-30 to Slytherin, now would be a perfect time to catch the snitch, it would give us 180 points and boost us up to second in the house cup, just below Hufflepuff and just above Gryffindor. Just.
Slytherin scores another 10 points.
I see the snitch. I fly towards it.
The snitch lingers for a second too long, but it works in my favour. That extra second allowed for me to grab the snitch and end the game, earning Slytherin a hefty 190 points and earning Gryffindor a rather arse kicking loss. Slytherins roar with cheers across the Quidditch stands, the cheering over powers the boos from the Gryffindors but right now I don't care.
I do a victory lap around the quidditch pitch on my broom before finally landing, only to then be hoisted up by my team mates as they all cheer me for basically winning them the game. I can't wipe the smile off my face. This has made me feel at least ten times better.
When the Slytherin quidditch team finally puts me down I'm faced with my brother Sirius who, despite his house's loss, is absolutely beaming.
He says nothing and instead engulfs me in a hug "you were magnificent, Reg" he says with a smile, I offer him a smile in return and go to say something, but before I can utter a word he pats my back and leaves me be. I reckon he doesn't want to take me away from any celebrations.
"Party in Slytherin Common Room!" Exclaims Finnick Trelair, one of our beaters with a fat smile on his face "winners AND losers welcome" he adds with a cocky grin.
A fair few Gryffindors show Finnick their middle fingers but a couple of people are seriously considering attending this apparent party that is now supposedly going on.
As soon as the crowd disperses, both quidditch teams are finally able to change out of their quidditch uniform and back into their robes so that we can all return to the castle for dinner.
"Black, have you got hickeys?" Asks Finnick as we change
Out of the corner of my eye, I see James' head snap in my direction, he heard that comment and he's interested in my answer, I can tell.
"Don't be stupid, Trelair, I'm a man of many mysteries, women is not one of them" I reply cooly
No one says anything else about them after that. Truth be told, I forgot James had left his mark on me, but to be honest, I smile at the thought, I kind of like it.
Everyone leaves the changing room and before I leave I just do some last checks on my kit and broom to make sure everything is order.
I turn to leave and I'm met with a certain messy haired, brown eyed boy.
"What do you want from me now, Potter?" I ask
"Can you just call me James? I like how you say my name" he asks
"What is it, James?" I ask
"Why did you lie about the hickeys?"
"I beg your pardon?" I ask "did you expect me to turn to everyone and go 'oh these love bites? yeah no they're from last night when James Potter had my cock in his mouth'? Something tells me that would not have gone down well with anyone"
"Sorry that was a stupid question, forget I asked, I'll just go"
"No, I'm sorry that was cruel of me"
"It doesn't matter"
"James, please don't be like that"
"Be like what? Regulus, I thought you wanted me to stay away. you know, lest I lose control of myself"
"You're the one that stayed about to talk to me, don't blame this on me"
"I wasn't blaming you"
"Really? Because that's what it bloody sounded like"
"Maybe you're just taking it the wrong way"
"That's pretty fucking accusatory for someone who not five seconds ago told me they weren't blaming me"
"Christ above can you ever just talk?"
"What does that fucking mean?"
"It means that you always argue with me, we can't just talk"
"You argue back so you're just as bad"
"I find you insufferable"
"Oh really?"
"But I don't want to be away from you, I constantly want you, I constantly need you, knowing what we've done, knowing that it's a possibility, that makes my desire grow ever bigger and christ, Regulus, I have an ever present burning desire for you"
James is holding my chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look at him.
Fuck.
"I need to go" I say
I leave before it gets too heated and I end up giving him what he wants. I need to stand my ground with what I said earlier about him needing to figure out what he wants before we continue whatever it is we have going on. I hate it as much as he does. I need him to, but I wont confess that until I know he won't just fuck me and leave or something. I just don't think he sees me the way he sees her, I don't think he ever will, so maybe it's good for me to get over and let go of James Potter before it becomes anything more.
I make my way back to the castle and enter the great hall, searching the Slytherin table for Barty, Evan and Dora.
I eventually find them and make my way over before sitting down next to Dora.
"Well done, mate, fantastic job" Evan says as soon as I sit down with them "I agree, Reggie, you truly were exceptional" Dora adds
"Thank you, Evan, and, of course, thank you, Dora" I reply, a small smile on my face
"What took you so long?" Asks Barty
"My broom needed a few things fixing and it needed some polish, you know how important my broom is to me" I reply, lying to them so that they don't suspect anything.
"Are you guys gonna go to the party?" Asks Evan
"You do know we are Slytherin, or did no one tell you?" Asks Barty sarcastically
"No, prick, I meant are you gonna be staying in the common room or are yous gonna escape to your room and be boring" replies Evan
"I think I'll go for the shits and giggles" says Barty
"What about you, Reg?" Asks Evan
"Dunno" I reply
"Come on, mate, it'll be fun" Barty tries to persuade me, truthfully, I'm not a party kind of guy but I might stick for a bit.
"Alright then" I say before turning to Pandora "Dora, what'd you say?" I ask
""I'll go, it sounds fun" she replies.
That's settled then.
Later on the party begins and people begin to gather in the common room. I didn't really hold out much expectation for this party but it seems like everyone took it seriously because soon enough the common room is swelling with bodies and it is getting very crowded.
It's not terrible, it could be worse I assume, plus I have Barty, Evan and Dora with me so I'm not exactly alone, and I can just go to my room if I don't want to be here anymore.
After a while, though, I decide I want to leave, so I start to try and make my way to my room.
As I weave through the crowds of people later on in the party, trying to drown out the blaring music that is slowly giving me a migraine, I have to stop. Simply because I see James Potter.
Except this time he's not alone and he's not with his usual friends. This time James Potter is with Lily Evans
This time James Potter is kissing Lily Evans

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Hello there my lovelies!

It's been a hot minute but here's another angsty, toxic chapter with a sprinkle of quidditch, friends and partying. Hopefully the next update won't be too long from now but I make no promises. Anyways, I hope yous have all had a fantastic day! Thank you all so much for your lovely support i love you all!

Stay wonderful!

All my everlasting love,
Blue<3