How to Find Yourself

Self Doubt

Doubting yourself and your abilities is a powerful emotion that can make people fearful. When you doubt what you are capable of, you may never do what is necessary to live as your true self. Many people who lose themselves get caught up in a life that is comfortable, and in the long run, they lose themselves in that comfort.

For example, some women marry men who are not good enough for them. However, when a man is a good provider, women fear that they won't be able to provide for their children if they leave. So, they end up staying in a bad marriage for a long time until the kids are able to support themselves.

History has shown us that women are capable of leaving bad marriages and starting over. There are many successful stories about women who reinvented themselves after losing themselves in their marriage. Think of figures like Oprah Winfrey, who overcame a difficult childhood and numerous obstacles to become one of the most influential women in the world. Or J.K. Rowling, who went from being a single mother on welfare to a best-selling author.

The thing about doubting your abilities is that it prevents you from getting the courage to try something new. Trying to improve your current situation is the most important thing, not necessarily being successful. We’re always hopeful about the possibilities of a better tomorrow but not the possibilities of a bad tomorrow. Living with self-doubt makes you think that you will likely fail at anything you attempt, and therefore there is no point in trying to do things differently.

You have to stop doubting yourself, and you can do that by starting to do little things to improve your life. It can be something as simple as establishing a self-care routine or something as complex as going back to school and getting a new certificate. The point is to give yourself a shot at something and give it your best in the hopes that you will succeed.

Do not feel bad if you want to start with small things like changing your wardrobe or starting an exercise regime. It’s OK to start small, but remember to be consistent and build on the things that you’re doing. For instance, you might start by setting a small goal, like reading a chapter of a book each night. Over time, these small changes can lead to big improvements in your confidence and abilities.

No matter what you do, keep on moving and keep on trying new things. Promise yourself that failure won't make you give up. You can take a moment or two to pick yourself up after you fail, but after that, you need to get right back at it. There is a saying where I come from that can be loosely translated to “Take a shower and get back out there.” This saying is usually used in reference to dating or business. It means that once you find yourself in a murky situation, take a shower, make yourself look presentable, then go back out into the world and try to conquer it.

Consider someone who has always worked in retail but dreams of becoming a graphic designer. They might doubt their ability to succeed in such a different field. However, by taking online courses and practicing their skills, they can gradually build the confidence to make the career switch.

Another example is someone who fears public speaking. They might start by speaking up more in meetings or joining a public speaking club like Toastmasters. Over time, these small steps can help them become more comfortable and eventually excel in public speaking roles.

Remember that everyone experiences self-doubt at some point. The key is not to let it paralyze you. Start small, be consistent, and celebrate your progress along the way. Even the smallest achievements can build your confidence and help you take on bigger challenges. Best of luck on your journey to overcoming self-doubt and embracing your true potential.