The Beginning Of The End

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Harry was not the same after the war.

Although Lord Voldemort was finally gone for good, the trauma that he had left behind still very much remained.

The losses of loved ones hung in the air like a thunderstorm waiting to happen and Harry was always going to be the one most affected by this.

These were the people who given their lives in the brutal war of Hogwarts. A war that could have been so easily stopped if only Harry had been quicker to hand himself over to Voldemort. It was only natural to blame himself.

If he had walked into the Forbidden forest at the very beginning, the people he cared about would still be alive. Fred, Lupin, Tonks...

Their hilarious personalities would still be there to cheer him up. Their wisdom would still be there guide him through the dismal times. And their smiling faces would still be there to support and care for him.

But this was not the case, because the reality was, that they were gone and they were never coming back.

"Their memory will live on!"

"They did not die in vain!"

No matter how many people told him these things, it simply was not enough for Harry. Nightmares were what followed him after the war.

Night after night, he saw the cruel and twisted face of Lord Voldemort and his Deatheaters as they ruthlessly killed every innocent witch and wizard that stood in their paths, cackling without a care in the world.

He also saw the bright, electric green light that flashed in front of his eyes causing him to wake bolt upright, dripping with cold sweat.

Why could his life never be easy? Even when he had won a war, life stood in his way and made him totally miserable yet again. It seemed that from the moment he was born, he was destined to live a life of undeniable pain and heartache. It just wasn't fair.

Harry thought he should have been happy too. Lord Voldemort, enemy of the entire wizarding world was now gone forever because of him.

But somehow he just could not move on from the deaths, the people who had laid down their lives to save him. Now he had to live with the unbearable guilt.

"Harry mate, you alright?" asked Ron, looking concerned as they sat around the crackling fire in their flat.

They had been quick to move in together after deciding not to go back to Hogwarts. They were best friends after all, it merely seemed like the logical thing to do, and with Hermione away on a six month trip around Europe they did not want to be alone at such a depressing time.

Harry had not realised it, but he had been sat staring blankly into space for quite a while, seemingly lost in his pained thoughts. It was as though all the life had vanished from his emerald eyes and Ron, his best friend, could clearly see this.

"Yeah..." Harry said flatly in response after removing himself from his trance-like state, "What were you saying?"

Ron's forehead creased as he frowned, he knew Harry was lying to him. He knew there was something bothering him, because there always was. However this time he chose not to press on it. He figured Harry had suffered enough.

"I was just wondering about what we're gonna do now? I mean, we aren't going back to Hogwarts, are we? I think we should head straight into work..." Ron suggested, "I mean... I've always wanted to become an Auror. I might just have a chance, now I've fought in the worst battle the wizarding world has ever seen, don't you think?"

Harry thought it was good that they could try and make light of the situation, even when in this fragile state. It was the only way they could really cope.

He envisaged Fred laughing away to himself as he made jokes about his own death. He wouldn't want to see either of them saddened because he was gone. And this image was what filled him with determination.

Harry nodded; of course any one of the people who had fought in the war was practically a shoe-in for any job that they wished now. It seemed like a bright and hopeful future for them all, but of course, leaving Hogwarts was something he wasn't sure he was truly ready for.

It was his home. His first true home, as he certainly didn't count the Dursleys' house as a home at all. However, going back would also seem strange, after everything that's happened.

To see the magnificent castle in complete ruins may break his heart even more, if that was actually possible. He felt he had lost so much over the past couple of years; his heart had almost been shattered beyond recognition.

So in that moment, Harry concluded that it was, in fact, time to move on and that becoming an Auror was the next big step in his life. He was sure his parents would be proud of this decision.

"Alright, let's do it then" He declared firmly, now set on his choice, "Let's become Aurors"

Ron looked up at him in disbelief for a few seconds, until a huge grin spread across his freckled face,

"Really? You want to?"

"Why not?" replied Harry thoughtfully, "We need a job sooner or later, definitely before Hermione comes back anyway..."

"When does Hermione get back?" Ron queried awkwardly. He was embarrassed that he had forgotten the date that their best friend was returning. He should have written it down or something.

"Friday, next week"

"We don't have long then..."

"Hm, I guess not" He realised, scratching the back of his neck, "We'll go tomorrow"

"Go where?"

"To the ministry, obviously... to apply for Auror training" Harry uttered as though it was the most blatant thing in the world. He knew sometimes Ron could be a little bit thick.

Ron beamed at his best friend, although deep down he knew Harry was still unsure about the whole thing. He had heard the strangled moans in the middle of the night; he had heard the panting as Harry woke with a start.

Ron knew his best friend was damaged, but then, in a way, they all were.

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