Snapping Point||Book 1

42.

Romano De Rossi

"Feel the most for."

Now that wasn't naked at all.

Typically, I'd avoid women who wore their hearts so openly on their sleeves, who presumed I could fulfill their every emotional need. But turning away from this particular one now would be a challenge to myself. Secretly, I sensed I'd be the one coming back, hungry for answers to the myriad questions about my own emotions. And I didn't know whether to hate or appreciate this rarity.

"You see, I didn't mention my lack of experience because I thought it might put you off," she admitted, brown eyes fixed on my chest in a meaningful gaze. She often misunderstood things. "And my virginity isn't the be-all and end-all of who I am. It's really not that significant," she chuckled nervously. "It's not like it's a pact with Jesus or my future husband, so please stop looking at me as if I've made the biggest mistake of my life. This was just a decision I made out of curiosity, thrill, and boredom."

Running my tongue against my bottom lip, I stiffened in place, noticing the conflicted look in her eyes once again. Leaving her feeling this way would be irrational of me, so I closed the gap completely and placed my hands on her shoulders, trying to express that she mattered to me, at least in some way.

And I didn't have to pretend because, in a strange turn of events, her importance in my life had become apparent to me a few days ago when I felt compelled to seek her out. I couldn't shake the need for her. Every moment without her felt like a waste. And when I could make her speechless with just a stare, it sent fear to her eyes, keeping her on edge. Her smile, her stories, they were getting under my skin. Those eyes, they held a kind of serenity. And damn, the adrenaline rush was growing on me.

Whenever she was out of sight, I couldn't help but worry about her, counting down the minutes until I could have her back into my world.

Even a simpleton could tell that these feelings ran deeper than mere whims. However, given my past, I preferred to keep these emotions tightly in check.

Now that the audience faded away, now that Xenia was all that remained, I made the call to give in.

"Hey, I want this, and I want this bad, maybe even more than you do," I said in a low growl. "But it's you I'm worried about. I got this itch that once we're through, you'll be fully committed. And my track record for not playing both sides is going to drag you out."

Those words plunged her into a cyclone of contemplation. She damn well needed to think. I wasn't so self-absorbed that I'd impulsively dive into fucking her just because I desired it. Her welfare beyond today still held weight for me. So if she could—for one more damn moment—consider what she was agreeing to, she'd recognize that it was a dangerous mistake for her.

"What choices do I have?" She asked. Her eyes raided mine for sincere responses. "Will you simply walk away after today? Is that all you want?"

Even before proceeding, I knew it would be some time before I decided to walk away. Moreover, I couldn't fulfill all my desires in just one day, so I shook my head twice.

"How bad can it get?"

Here was the truth... "I can't promise you that I'll leave the Family and escape with you when things turn ugly... because they definitely will," I stated plainly. "Nor can I pretend that I'll stand up against my Family when push comes to shove. But if you ever want to break free from Ivan's grasp, from the IP, from a life of being someone's puppet, listen, I will move heaven and earth to make that happen for you."

She broke into loud sobs that was a half-cry and a half-laugh, and buried her face in my chest, rejecting that option. "If you intervene between Ivan and me, there won't be anything left of this. I don't want that."