Once In A Lifetime

Prologue

Ali's perspective

JUNE

That's it. The year is over. 9 months of my life have come to a bitter end with my group of friends and me barely passing our spring classes. We've studied, lost countless hours of sleep, and struggled to balance our hectic group dynamic, and now it's finally over.

"THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, WE ARE FREE AT LAST!!!" I yelled as soon as I got home the last day of finals. My two best friends in the world, Marina and Sam, screamed and yelled and fell dramatically on the floor with me once we realized we were done.

There is music playing loudly from our speakers in the main room of our dorm as we finish packing the last of our things. I toss a few stray socks, a notebook, three broken pencils, and a guitar pick into the least full box on the floor.

One small white box sits on my stripped bed. It has no labels, no writing, nothing to mark it from any of the others. But it holds so much more.

My feet carry me to the edge of my bed. A moment passes and I have a small bear clutched tightly in my hands. I rummage lightly through the rest of the things in the box and feel a twinge somewhere in my chest.

"Hey," Sam says softly from my doorway. "Ready to start packing up the car? We're just about finished with our boxes."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll be right there," I tell her, trying to perk myself up.

"Is that the box?" she asks.

"Yeah, it's the last of it. I just have to take it back to him when we're finished here."

"Okay, well..." Sam pauses. "Just let us know when you're ready to go. We can drive you over there before we head home."

"Yeah, okay."

Thirty minutes later the car is packed and ready to go. Sam drives to Zayn's apartment as Marina sits quietly in the passenger seat. The box on my lap bears more weight than I would have expected.

I walk up the familiar stairs for the last time this year. When I knock on the door, it only takes a few moments for Niall to answer it.

He opens the door quickly and pauses like he's surprised to see me; he shouldn't be, I told him I was coming.

"Hey," he breathes. "Hey. It's, uh... It's good to see you." Niall is tense, visible in the strain of his shoulders beneath his tank top.

"You too," I say stiffly.

"Come in!" he insists, opening the door a little wider.

"No, it's okay, thanks. I just came to give you this." I hold out the box to him as if it's wired. His face falls.

"Right." He stares at the box but makes no move toward it.

"I have to get going..." I say after a moment or two and nudge the box toward him. "Marina and Sam are--"

"Yeah," he says, snapping out of his daze, "I get it. No worries. Thanks." He forces a pained smile and takes the box.

Niall looks down and notices the bear on top. "Even this?"

I hesitate, unable to think of an explanation. "It's just too much, Ni."

The nickname slips out and the corner of Niall's mouth twitches up in a sad smile.

"Yeah, 'course. I uh... I have your bracelet still, if you want it. I mean, half of these were gifts but I figure you should at least keep that one--" He stops when I silently shake my head.

"I can't, Niall."

"Right," he sighs shortly. Before I turn to leave, he seems to try to reach out to touch me. I feel his rough fingertips brush my arm lightly, and goosebumps are left as they part with my skin. "Ali..." he breathes.

I turn to face him one last time.

"I'm sorry" is all he says, like a deep sigh after one very long day.

Despite the warmth of mid-June, every step that takes me away from him--away from that apartment, that box, those stairs I've walked up so many times to get into his bed--leaves me colder and colder deep in the pit of my stomach.

Niall's perspective

As she walks away, my feet get heavier and I'm stuck in my own doorway unable to move. I hear Zayn's voice kind of far off behind me after a while.

"Niall, close the door would you? You're letting the pests in." In a few seconds he's behind me, closing it for me.

"Hello? Earth to Niall. C'mon, let's finish packing all this rubbish." Zayn snaps at me to get me to stop zoning out.

"Look, mate, it's been a month at least, right? I know it's hard, but we've got to finish this off. The sooner we're done, the sooner you can leave it all behind."

I walk behind him to finish packing boxes, ignoring the sick feeling in my stomach, leaving the last small white box alone on the counter until the last trip out.

I take special care to pack it on top of everything else.