The Teddy Bear Agreement | Updating

5 - pills

Besides big exam weeks, the first week for students is the most dreaded thing in the academic year. It's when you notice your time as a free individual has come to an end and you now must at least pretend that you care about the classes you're in, or you will fail the said class and spiral down a hole of anxiety that will tell you that you have fucked up the rest of your life. There is no arguing with that side of your brain, at least not with my brain.

Monday is less than twelve hours away and it feels like a ticking time bomb. The summer has given me the liberty of pretending that my life is somewhat under control. Moving out of the house and getting my own apartment, with a very good-looking roommate that is. A roommate who spends most of the afternoons in his room reading, or burning things in the kitchen and swearing he does know how to cook, even though he has set off the fire alarm twice already.

In the week that I've lived with William, we've seldom spent time together, even while living in the same apartment. It's refreshing, honestly. It's not that I expected us to suddenly become best friends and hang out on the couch in deep conversation about our lives and fears, but I did wonder how it would be to have someone else to live with again. I mean, aside from my mother.

My sister is five years older than me, not a big gap but enough so that when I was in high school she was in college, and she moved away, as my father expected her to. So my teenage years were spent as the only child of the house and while I had my friends, I forgot what it was like having someone my age around. Including boys, since I don't have that many guy friends, none at least as close as the girls.

Aside from Ray, of course.

"Bro, your ice cream is melting," Ray points out with his bright red spoon.

"Oh—crap," I quickly lick the part of my cone that had been melting over my hand, fingers already sticking with the sugar as I look around for the napkins we had mere minutes ago.

"Damn it, Ray, I wanted to see how long it took her to figure it out," Michelle laughs, passing me a napkin from her side, "I love it when you space out it's like we're not even here, you just look at the window like you're waiting for your lover to come back from the ocean."

I shake my head, wiping away at my hand, I'll have to go wash them before we leave Dairy Queen. The day is uncomfortably warm and when I rolled over to Michelle's she hopped out of her place, with Ray trailing behind, asking if I wanted to go get ice cream because it's too damn hot outside to do anything else than looking for a cooling snackor drink. I had agreed, I never say no to ice cream that should be illegal in its own sense.

"I'm just thinking about school," I say.

"Oh God, don't do that." She seems visibly disgusted by the idea. "I already got all my books and my bank account will never recover."

"Actually your bank account will never recover because of the makeup subscription box you have," Ray interrupts, to what his girlfriend shoots him a dirty look.

"Don't come at me, Mr. Art-supplies-are-required-for-my-classes."

"They are though!" He scoops more ice cream into his spoon, looking as innocent as a politician. "The majority of them at least"

Ray is an art major, he's an incredibly good artist if I've ever seen one. Painted a giant mural back in Ashville that got him paid fairly well. He dabbles into different styles but he likes to think he is an urban artist, even though he's never lived in a large city or done graffiti art. From homes to schools, he wants to paint things that will be seen by the greater public rather than just some people at a gallery. Michelle and Ray met in art class in school, and while she is not pursuing a degree, she's still a good graphic designer on her own behalf and hopes to have a side business while she's in college.