My GodFather

"If anything were to happen to us it would be up to you and Garcia to get this boy into Yale"

Those words... Those life altering words were just meant to be playful to explain his godfather duties not set a miserable fate in stone. As much as he loved me his god son this was just all to much to handle.

My mothers last lingering words burned his eidetic memory; "Take care of him Spence, he needs you now." Every night for weeks he would stay awake repeating those words to himself followed by; "What can I do for him? I can't raise a child!" But his self loathing would always be put away when I cried out for my mother and father in the middle of the night and the only person to run through that door was Uncle Spence. Uncle Spence had no idea what to do to protect young boys from monsters in the closet or the boogey man under the bed, Uncle Spence didn't know the words to 'bed time for baby star' some nights he would recite a poem or two and they were beautiful once I was old enough to understand what they meant.

On the first day of school he took me to class, I wore a cardigan just like him. All the teachers called him Mr. Lamontague which caused a nervous tick in his eye, he would squeeze my hand tightly then whisper in their ears. I never knew what he would tell them I always assumed he explained that he was my guardian not my father.

When parent teacher interviews rolled around he and Aunt Penelope had met with them, Aunt Penelope showed up for majority of school related functions. Open house, conferences, spelling bees, even a mother son dance in Elementary school. I know they tried... The whole team did, Morgan took me to baseball games, Rossi took me on fishing trips, Hotch would take Jack and I to see a movie or help us build a fort in the living room. Emily taught he how to talk to girls because Uncle Spence had no idea what he was doing... And that was the case most of the time... He didn't know what he was doing...

One night I woke up afraid of a movie we had watched the night before and he did something strange he climbed into the bed next to me, he held me tight until I stopped crying and we fell asleep.

When I turned twelve the BAU held a memorial service for my parents... And I was alone... Uncle Spence wouldn't get out of bed he stayed under the covers all day, Rossi had to come pick me up so I could honour my parents. I had never been so made at my god father before not when he wouldn't let me take the car for the night, not when I couldn't have ice cream for breakfast, not even when he quite the BAU. He couldn't respect my parents enough to honour their deaths? They died as heroes! They put their life on the line to make this a better world for me... For us to live in.

Years later Uncle Spence finally admitted why he didn't show up that day, he was ashamed, ashamed he wasn't good enough, ashamed he would screw me up and I'd be left to suffer... But he didn't...

When I was fourteen I had just finished my first day of High school when I saw Uncle Spence show up in his Volvo instead of the issued SUV he and my mom used to drive. I got in the car and we went for dinner then out for ice cream, he sat me on the couch at home and explained that he had handed in his badge and gun. That this job was just too dangerous for him if he were to be raising me. I became enraged what right did he have saying my mothers job was too dangerous! Was he implying she should have quit like she and my father used to fight about for nights on end.

I punched him... Dead in the face... His nose bled and my hand swelled... We just sat their collecting ourselves for a while longer until he spoke again. "Your mother was a beautiful, talented, hard working woman. She was great at this job, she could balance parenting and crime fighting... But we were almost blown up today and all I could think about was how could you! Henry Lamontague deal with the loss of another parent?"

After we cleaned ourselves up I went to bed without another word, he thought of himself as my parent? I stayed awake thinking of how my parents would react to how I had just treated Uncle Spence; my father would laugh and tell me I had a killer hook, while my mother would scold me and tell me he was doing the best he could, that my Uncle Spence was not like most people i would meet in my life, he wouldn't show his emotions like normal people, he would shut away for long periods of time then come back like nothing happened.

I went into his room that night hoping to apologize but he was already in bed, just as I was about to leave I heard him talking, he was speaking to a photo it was of him, my mother, and I at my baptism. They were holding me together smiling into the camera. Uncle Spence was apologizing of how he was raising me... How he wasn't living up to her expectations.

It took time but we finally worked through it all. He helped me through high school and got me started in college. The night before we were to leave for Yale Uncle Spence took me to the grave yard where my parents rested. I knelt between the graves and spoke to them like all those years ago when I watched Uncle Spence talk to that picture.

"I miss you, and I love you. I got into Yale just like you wanted, and I know you're proud of me and that you love me."

Every year after that I would come back to visit, to see Uncle Spence, Aunt Penelope, the BAU, and my parents. Every year I reply this story to myself to remind me that Uncle Spence was the greatest father I could ever ask for.