Drowning Lessons

"Brendon, don't jump!"

Ryan was fast but gravity worked faster.

It was too late; I was in mid air when Ryan finally felt like saving me. A few minutes ago I could remember my head aching and Ryan showing me a wedding ring that wasn't for me. I felt nauseous and I felt like jumping, so I did. Into the water, into the salty waves, I wanted to feel them crash against my skin. I keep on hearing his voice over and over again, he was happy, he finally got her back. I'm happy for him but I'm not happy for me. I hate myself for being so slow, if I told him earlier I could have got him.

"Brendon!!" Ryan screamed. Time was purposely slowing down, why can't I just fall already!?

I've always loved falling. I thought falling for Ryan was the best thing that ever happened, but this proves that falling in the sea and drowning is better.

I saw Ryan outstretched his arm to me. Wide eyes, terrified eyes, they were beautiful. It's not a pain that they will be the last beautiful things I will see on God's green earth.

I felt my back kiss the surface of the howling water. It was freezing cold but I didn't mind, it felt so good.

The surface of the water was like a mirror breaking. The broken glass scattered in the air, a couple of splashes on my face and some tried to make their way to Ryan but they all fell back in the water with me. My whole body was shivering as I sink in. The sky was bright only on the other side of my face, the sun was setting and it was falling too, just like me. I wasn't alone.

Everything turned into a blur. The waves underneath the water's surface were pulling me deeper and deeper. Down in under its core. It didn't matter to me at all; if I was holding my breath or not. I didn't care. I had a soft focus, still, on a small spot of light above me. The light was showing itself, I can see it. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I can't move my fingers anymore; my clothes were playing on the surface of my skin. My eyes were starting to sting, they wanted to close but something was stopping them. The light was blurring. It was fading. Everything was disappearing and I kept on falling down. Why am I still alive?

There was a blinding flash.

"Oh! So you're Brendon Urie? I'm Ryan, Ryan Ross. This is my best friend, our drummer, Spencer Smith. Do I have to introduce this guy to you?" he asked me pointing at Brent. His face was charming; his eyes were a bit drowsy that time. Spencer was just smiling at me and Brent was laughing. I didn't know why but I didn't care at the time, my attention was on him.

The sea was whispering to me. Why am I still alive?

"We got signed up! Holy Shit! Pete's coming to Vegas for us! Do you guys know what that means?"

Spencer still had his jaw dropped. Brent was already partying like some guy who won the lottery. I was staring at him with wide teary eyes and holding his wrists as he was shaking my shoulder.

A nauseous feeling and hands freezing, it's hard to last long. Why am I still alive?

"It's a whole lot easier the second time around but I wouldn't mind a helping hand. What do you say we record some of your songs? I'm sure the fans will love to hear your work, you're really good at it, Brendon."