What it means to love

Somebody once asked me what it means to love.

I didn't have an answer for them then; I told them it wasn't something to think about, but something you feel. And to some extent, it is true, because I always thought the feeling of love was indescribable beyond words. But I've come to the conclusion that I was wrong.

So, what does it mean to love?

The feeling of love is simple. Those who have loved, know the feeling, as it's not one to be mistaken with another emotion. Love makes us vulnerable, breaks our walls down because we want to open up and connect with another person, so much that we let our insecurities go. We speak and act truthfully, loyally, respectfully.

But how do we know we're in love?

Love means you'll do anything to never make the other sad.
Love means you'll be with them, through good times and bad.
Love means that through any fight, you'll work it out because you know you couldn't imagine the other person not being there.
Love means the idea of them being gone makes you sick beyond compare.
Love means putting in effort, as the seas get rocky from time to time.
Love means communication, even if they're busy and it only happens sometimes.
Love means being open and honest with all feelings, and making sure they're validated.
Love means listening, and coming with a solution when those feelings have surfaced.
Love means never wanting them to feel alone,
Love means going forward, together, into the unknown.
Love means leaning on each other in times of need,
Love means holding the other when they need to breathe.
Love means fighting for each other, even when it seems lost,
Love means trying your best, even when you're both crossed.

You know you're in love when, at the end of the day,
You can't imagine them not in your future, and you only want them to stay.

So, what does it mean to love, for me?

It means that I can't imagine my life without that smile, that laugh, that carefree attitude, that sense of humor, the love of friends and family, that kindness, that gentleness, that ambitious drive, the nerdy-ness, those eyes, the affection, the reassurance, that voice, and the feeling that everything is going to be okay. Love is finding a home in a person. Love means conquering every battle, together.

Love means knowing you want to go to sleep every night with your favorite person, rather than going to sleep alone.

Even through the never-ending time of heartbreak and pain, I continue to fight, continue to hold out hope of that happily ever after, because that's what my heart does. That's how my heart learned to love. I don't want to write the "what if we did this" or "if only we tried this" story. I want our story to end, "And they chose to stay" because I believe that we can do it. I would not be fighting so hard, if I know that I didn't want it so badly, or that I didn't think that we couldn't make it. And I will continue to fight, and hold onto hope, until I am proven otherwise.

That is what it means to love.