‘My body is so sore; I don’t think I can take another week of sleeping on this ground’ I thought as I lifted myself from the rocks. I stared down at my clothing, it was raggedy as hell! Dirt was caked in between my toes and probably in many other places too.
I walked down the street patiently awaiting somebody to tell me to “get away” or “fuck off” But today was quiet. I hustled into the liquor store; Walter the owner sometimes gave me free food.
“Wassup, Zuri” Walter asked. Walter was middle aged and pretty short, he had hair that reminded me of salt and pepper.
“Hey.” I stated not making eye contact.
“You hungry, huh, I got Trudy in there whipping you up something right now!” He exclaimed, happily.
I ignored what he said and went to wait outside. I watched as a Ferrari pulled up to the store, I already knew who it was too. Jahz.
He stepped out of the car with a fresh cut. Jahz always made an effort to look nice. His mocha brown skin glistened in the summer heat, and his light brown eyes just complimented everything about him. He was so tall, at least 6’4. I was considered short though… for a female, being 5’3. He looked down at me and stared for a long time, like he was studying a piece of paper before I finally said something to him
“What?” I asked with attitude in my voice. He still didn’t say anything. “Can I help you? You think just because I don’t have what you have you can just look down on me!”
“I mean-“He looked shocked, nobody ever talked to him like that.
“No, you know what; fuck you and this ugly car!” I shouted in rage, I attempted to leave but he snatched me back. “Let me go!” His grip was so tight on my arm I’m sure It would leave a mark.
“Look, that’s not at all what I was thinking!” His grip loosened, and he sat me back down on the curb. “I just… uh… I don’t know.” I heard some sympathy in his voice.
“Oh….” We sat in silence for a minute before I got up and went back into the store to get my food.
When I left out of the store carrying my food, jahz was still sitting there on the curb, It was just me and my food on the way “home”. Just before I turned the corner, I heard a voice shouting ‘Aye’, I turned around to find Jahz jogging up behind me. I cringed away from him. Thinking back to the way he grabbed my arm earlier.
“Wait, you don’t have to do that…. I wanna help.” He suggested. “What’s yo name.” He asked me.
I hesitated before I snapped at him. “Listen, I don’t need your sympathy or anybody else’s. I’m bout that life you don’t know nothing about what I go through on a regular basis. You got your life handed to you, like you’re a prince or something. I don’t know you therefor I’m not telling you nothing about me and my struggle! Leave me alone, please. I know about you… I know who you run with and I really could care less for you or anything you have especially your reputation. You ain’t shit like this whole world!” He was quiet until I was finished talking. We just stared at each other; it was getting dark.
“Ma, I ain’t got any fucking sympathy for you or anybody else… I was just trying to help you out you feel me?”
“No, Jahz, I don’t feel you.” I turned around and started back to my corner in the alley ‘home’. I really wanted help but I just didn’t know how to except it. “I’m poor, not a charity case. Help somebody else” I stated not turning around.
I snuggled up to the mold on the walls of the alley. It kept me warm when the summer nights got cold. I had a rag that was used as a blanket but there were so many holes in it, it was no use!
You’d think because I’ve been out here so long, I’d have some connections, or I would’ve got on my feet. But, I’m only 15 what do you expect? I do have a few people that can help me out but I’ve yet to talk to them. I fell asleep that night, cold and filled with ideas. I didn’t even recognize I dozed off.
The next morning, I woke up extra early I had a lot on my mind the night before. My encounter with Jahz just triggered something, which was telling me that I needed to do something with myself.
I knew a guy who could get me a small apartment about a few miles down. Last time I saw him he told me I had to be at least 16, now is that time. He owned the apartment unit; he was always nice to me back then so he should be now!
I washed my face with a dirty rag and a puddle that hadn’t dried up yet. I needed to get going if I wanted to make it by the end of the day, so I folded my things and left out of the alley to be greeted by two boys, one light skinned, and the other dark skinned.
They were both around my age; they looked drunk it was still dark outside so I couldn’t really see their faces… I tried going around them but everywhere I went they blocked me. One of them moved in on me from the front and the other circled around to the back of me.
“Can you move, damn!” I shouted pushing the light skin one in front of me. At that moment he slapped me down towards the ground ‘damn, why my mouth always gotta get me in trouble’
“Shut the fuck up, bitch!” One of them shouted. My eyes were closed ready to take the first beating of the day. I blocked my head as they stumped and punched me. They proceeded to rip my ragged shirt off my body; exposing my tits. (Lol)
Suddenly they stopped… ‘BOOM!”
‘Oh my god’ I thought. It was a gunshot, I covered my ears and formed myself into a ball, I wasn’t dead so who was? A few seconds later I heard feet running in the other direction. I was too scared to move, so I just laid there. Moments later, I was being moved away from the ground the arms were smooth and covered with tattoos. He smelled so good I thought I was dreaming... I came to my senses and quickly covered my chest. It was Jahz. Noticing that it was him I cringed and covered my head once again, he softly laid me down in the back seat of his car and touched my skin and the scars that were left from previous ass whoopings. I was so embarrassed all I could do was cry.
I heard the car start as I dozed off….
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