Denying Love </3

This Has To Be A Dream!

                                                                     Ezmarie's POV

When I had opened the door to my house to leave, I hadn't noticed a figure standing in front of me, but when I looked up, my reflexes caused me to enter my house again, and close the door on his face.

He continued knocking on the door, but I just wouldn't open it.

"Just go home! I have to get to school. Anyway, I don't even want to look at you, so what would give you the idea that I want to talk to you?" I said, trying to imply that he needs to leave.

"LIsten, Ezzy, please, I really am sorry, and you never did let me explain what happened. You kicked me out and never replied to my texts or answered my calls. You need to hear me out. Please!"

I could hear the pleading and begging in his voice. But, I just couldn't let him get to me, i've cried a tear too many times. I have to be stronger then this. So, what I did next, surprised me so much. I opened the door, pushed him slightly away, not wanting to hurt him, because after all, I am a sweet person. I began fast walking to the school, because I didn't want to be late. I could hear his footsteps syncing with mine. Why, oh, why, can he not get the message? I'm done with him, it's been over, and I just don't want to bring the past up again, it hurts way too much.

"Ezzy, please!"

"Leave me alone." I said trying to give him the cold shoulder.

"You just don't understand what happened!"

What the freak is he talking about? I saw what happened with my two eyes and I think it was self-explanatory. No need for him to explain it one more time. My heart would ache more if he did. So, I decided to give him a piece of my mind. I turned around and began my 'speech'.

"No! LIsten here! I don't think you understand what happened. You fooled around with me! You broke my heart! You freakin' lied to me, right in my face. I was so stupid to believe you, of course, you wouldn't love me! Why would anyone want to love me? The 'dork', 'nerd', 'geek', that everyone nicknames me. I thought you were different! I thought you didn't judge me from the outside. I'm ugly, fat, and my parents hate me! I thought you were the different person, who could love me from the inside. But, looks like I was wrong."

Lies began to spill out of my mouth, I just couldn't stop, I didn't want him to think I still remember his beautiful voice when he would sing me songs, his amazing kisses, his heart melting hugs, his kind words he would tell me. But, when I opened my mouth, I knew there was nothing that was going to stop me from coming out with a whole bunch of lies.

"Looks like you were wrong, too. Because, guess what? I was never in love with you either. I was playing you too. I just wanted to see who would give up the game faster. Looks like you lost. I could've played the game all my life. I just wanted to hurt you. You hurt so many people, yeah, maybe I was one of them. But I was not going to fall into your little trap. I was smarter then that I outplayed you! Yeah, sometimes you made my heart drop when I saw you flirting with other girls, and when ever we had our fights, yeah, I would cry on my pillow, and watch chick flicks and eat ice cream. You know the girl, remember Keylea, before she was a rude girl, the girl you had loved, well, before I came along, well she "hired" me to break your heart, she was growing very impatient, more then you could imagine. She wanted you broken hearted, so I just had to find a way to end our relationship fast. But, it looked like you had a plan, because, I mean, you beat me to it. I mean, you could've found someone, rather then someone close to me. So, I tried to show that I was heart broken from what you did, and I guess I did a good job, because you tried to explain. So, I think i've said enough, and I have to get to school before i'm late, which I probably am. Since we never said goodbye last time, well this is it. Goodbye."

That's when I turned around and begun walking. I suddenly realized tears were coming out of my eyes, and I just left them there to fall. I felt sick to my stomach and numb. I couldn't believe I had lied. That is the most despised thing I hate. I hate lying and being lied to. I just had to say it before I said what I truly felt. I realized it then and there, that I still truly loved him and I still had my feelings for him. I just couldn't come to standards with believing that, but after what happened, I figured it out. I will never, and I say never, fall in love again. I don't want the same thing happening to me again.

I started running to school because I had no where else to run, my mom hates me and she would never tell me that I could have her shoulder to cry on. My dad left us, which I could careless about, he was an alcholic anyway. My best friend was probably at school. So, yeah, noone to go to.