The Smiling Companion [Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt/Doctor Who Fanfic] (#Wattys2015)

Kimmy meets The Doctor!

Kimmy Schmidt arrived home from work to see a blue police box in front of her building. Leaning against it was a man wearing a brown pinstriped suit and white Converse shoes.

“Hello, I’m The Doctor.”

“Nice to meet you, The. I’m Kimmy!”

“Would you like to take a trip in my box? We could go anywhere you like, in all of time and space.”

Kimmy no longer trusted men who were inviting her to spend time with them in small, contained areas. Kimmy blew the security whistle Titus bought her for her birthday. Lillian came rushing outside.

“What’s happening?“ she yelled and then noticed the man with his box. “Doctor!” 

“Lillian!” 

The two embraced in a big hug.

“You know this man?” Kimmy asked.

“Oh yes,” said Lillian, looking dreamily into The Doctor’s eyes. “He visits me every few years to help fend off the gentrifiers. And then he takes me back in time so I can be one of Charlemagne’s concubines. Don’t worry, Kimmy. He always brings people back. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Okay, The. I’m in!” said Kimmy. “Can we go back to 1999 and prevent Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne from kidnapping me?” 

“Weeeeeeeeeeelll. I’m sorry, Kimmy, that’s a fixed point in time.”

“Okay. Then, can we go back to 2005 and see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith in the theaters? We could be the first in line. I’ll dress up as Princess Leia and you could be Han Solo. And Titus could be Chewbacca. He’s already got that werewolf costume.”

“Kimmy, if I let you see what George Lucas has done to Star Wars, you won’t be unbreakable anymore.”

She bit her lip as she thought about what else she might like to experience in the past fifteen years. She had missed so much.

Titus Andromedon emerged from the garden apartment below, carrying five pieces of luggage. He walked right past The Doctor and into the TARDIS.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” The Doctor yelled after him.

Titus popped his head back out the TARDIS door and said, “Last time you dropped Lillian off, you promised I could come along next time.”

“Ah right. I did, didn’t I?” The Doctor turned to Kimmy and said, “Ready?”

“Let’s do it!” said Kimmy.

“Alons-y!”