I lived in excruciating agony. Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, hours became days as i bore the never ending pain.
"So how had this began?" The therapist asked.
"Well as the story unfolds..." i began.
I can still feel the painful lash of the belts, the blood streaming down my nose as my mother pushed my head down on the counter. The pain in my throat as she held in the bath filled with water, not granting me the permission to breathe. I can still feel the endless tears running down my face and burning my eyes, making me feel hopeless and helpless, as my step father slapped me again and again so i would allow him to have his way with me at nught when my mother wasn't at home.
As a boy i lusted for that father figure in my life, just to be able to know the feeling of love. I tried telling mother but she never believed and that only made the pain come faster and worst. On friday nights ,mom performed her nightly routine, she drank for a couple of hours then striked me repeatedly like a slave, blaming me for problems she had with my stepfather. It was my fault i was brought into this world.
I decided enough was enough, i decided to take matters into my own hands and came up with my solution, to burn down the house in order to change my life. Only it made matters worst, losing the one i loved though she never loced me.
I was placed into a foster home, since i was the only survivor of the fire. I thought I was placed into a safe haven. I thought finally i would be loved but all they did was physically and verbally abuse me.
Years later,i became a teacher. I fell in love with my students, it was like i forgot about everything. i wanted to express myself and let the children know how i felt. In doing so i was hurting more people than i helped. I found it as a way of relieving my pain.
I raped thirty two defenceless, cowardly boys as i found it as a cure, wanting them to understand the pain i felt. Seeing the pain in their eyes, the terror,and the screaming, making me remember how it felt to be a victim of my stepfather's cruel acts, it made me heartless. It was like a disease spreading through my body but i couldn't stop.
One of my students reported my acts of rape to the police. They came for me. As they handcuffed me and placed me into the car, i felt like a cold heartless killer. I've spent ten years reminiscing on the crime i committed. I forgave my step-father and mother, as i tried to make myself a better person. I seeked counselling within these prison walls known to be hell.
