" A Love No Compared "

It was a bright Monday morning when I first saw Him. My heart pounds at its very speed. My mind turns upside and down. I certainly fallen in love with Him, I said.

He's dainty as though as a baby. With His lustrous eyes, well-chiselled nose, fair white complexion that glistens when light strikes. These advents made me adore Him totally, intensely... and extremely!

Days passed and years gone by. We're getting to know each other well. Our friendships become deeper and deeper.. as though as a bottomless well. Full of water, symbolizes true, endless friendship.

By that time, that moment. Being a friend of Him. Happiness and joy collides within me. Causes teardrops in my eyes. Not of blues, but of gaiety.

But then, I realized... To be a friend of Him is not enough. Hiding the truth to Him. Keeping what I exactly feel for Him. Gave so much agony to me...

Every single day. Every single night. I keep on thinking of what would be the outcome if I tell Him the truth. Acceptance of Love? Or Rejection? I can't think of what would be exactly his reaction towards my feeling. So, i decided to keep it myself.. a secret where nobody would be able to know it.

No guts, No glory! A friend told me. Strengthens my soul... Encouraging... Pushing! Tell Him the truth, I decided then!

" I LOVE YOU! I ADORE YOU! " These words I said. Filled with genuine, true, sincere... perfect!

Silence were all around. Sounds of crickets can only be heard. My heart was pounding so badly. Waiting for His answer... reaction... towards my confession... But, there even was no word from His mouth, nor sigh... With that, signals disagreement, disapprovement... enmity!!!

Love hurts, love hurts! Flashes in my mind that instant. A feeling of resentment I feel. Stabing like a thousand knives... Makes my heart bleeds :(

Since then, distance and spaces come between us. Everything was lost, destroyed by a sudden catastrophe. No more talks, chats, nor jokes and laughters.

For a long period of lost communication. Of wasted times! I'm finding reasons why silence surrounds Him? Upon knowing what I feel?

Then, one day, thru gossip, I've found the answer... " Bad news! He's dead. " This broke my strong disposition.. I don't think of what to do, but to cry tremendously... continuous.. a never ending one.

After His funeral, His mother handed me a letter. A letter written by Him..

To my lovingly Mika,

I really am sorry for not answering or saying any words the day you confessed your feelings to me. Sorry if that hurts you and bothers you since that day up to now. Sorry for everything, for the pains and aches that I've brought into your ife.

Mika, admittedly, I also have feelings for you. In fact, my mind keeps on thinking about you every minute of everyday, my heart beats for you, only for you, my eyes keeps on searching for your lovely face, my soul, my entire body is longing for your presence, for your warm hugs & sweet kisses, & for your love.

I manage not to pay attention for your love to me beacause I can't. If I do, I'm afraid I may no longer be able to wipe your tears when  you're sad & crying; hug you when you feel hopeless & alone; kiss & let you feel love when nobody does. I am no longer be able to live long. I have cancer. I chose to repress my feeling. I chose no to love you, though, I did loving you. I chose every terrible & wrong decisions just to let you live happily with the person who can stay with you for the rest of your lives. I'd rather be in pain, longing for your love, than you to be with me, then after a short time, will be left hanging alone.

I'm sorry, Mika! I'm sorry for not telling you the truth. I LOVE YOU!

Sincerely yours,

Hiro :)

From that day on, I never been in love again 'cause it will always be Hiro in my heart... He will forever own my heart.. 'til death... 'til eternity...